I am hopeless.plz help

[Rainbowmum]

The best advice I can give you is self acceptance .
You have to stop comparing yourself to others ,especially a porn star.
These people get hired for size.

Believe or not you project the way people see you.
Time to grow up , leave the porn alone , gain some confidence , stop associating yourself with the size of your penis,or your height.

There is nothing more sexier than a man with confidence.

Get your self into a course that teaches English or French, get out there meet people.

Most of all learn to accept your self for who you are , not for what size your penis and height you are.
Take a step towards change every day.

[gayboyindia24]

@Rawr,east..first of all,a big apology for writing in text messaging style.I know you all had hard time going through my post. @rawr-you are right,about small penis thing or any other suggestions which i have recieved,i followed it for some days and then i forget.I really want 2 transform myself that is why i am writing this post.I find forum this very welcoming and I don't have to lie about myself.BY THE WAY..I SPEAK GOOD ENGLISH WITH CORRECT GRAMMAR.ITS JUST THAT I TOOK IT MORE CASUALLY.

[Blue]

Thank you, Gayboyindia, for the apology.

Now that I've got the time to figure out what you said up there:

I think you're doing exactly what a good friend of mine was doing until a few months ago - you're lumping everything you want to change about yourself and your life into one big, impossible to manage ball.

Stop it. Take one thing at a time, just a little thing and work on that and only that. When you get that one under control, move to the next little thing. Sure it takes a while, but, it's a lot easier that way and, the changes stick when you take it slow.

For starters, memorize, believe and internalize this: "The size of my penis does not matter. I can pleasure a partner with whatever I have, no matter what he has." And yes it is true, if you know where the erogenous zones and pleasurable place are on your partner, size does not have to be an issue at all.

[East]

@Rawr,east..first of all,a big apology for writing in text messaging style.I know you all had hard time going through my post. @rawr-you are right,about small penis thing or any other suggestions which i have recieved,i followed it for some days and then i forget.I really want 2 transform myself that is why i am writing this post.I find forum this very welcoming and I don't have to lie about myself.BY THE WAY..I SPEAK GOOD ENGLISH WITH CORRECT GRAMMAR.ITS JUST THAT I TOOK IT MORE CASUALLY.

OK...I will reprint something I wrote to someone here in 2010 on the subject...I am doing so in the hopes you can get something from it...you MUST overcome this because not accepting yourself will never lead you anywhere worth going.....

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and what else do I have to offer sexually

.....therein lies the problem..much more than the size of your penis. Insecurity can manifest itself in many forms..... your statement above is what you have to consider and change. For what it is worth...you could have the largest penis in the world and if you thought that you had alot to offer BECAUSE you had a large penis you would be equally insecure...and wrong.

I think it is really cool that you are open and honest about your insecurity so I have to say to you...you cannot change this aspect of your physical being and there will always be people who prefer large cocks and that is something else you have no control over...and you have to accept both of these things

BUT...this is not everyone nor is it the majority of people who desire large penises above everything else. If you are watching porn you are going to get a skewed view of everything. I used to joke with this porno star I worked with and asked him how they could find so many people who looked exactly alike...to me they alot look like a bunch of cows because when I look at a field of cows they pretty much all look the same to me and I cannot distinguish between them individually. Most porn is a big yawn for me.

...and my advice to you...if you feel insecure pick something that you CAN change or develop and decide that is what you are going to do. Personality is one idea...maybe try bodybuilding or running or something physical. mental or emotional that would make you feel as though you have an edge.....I can tell you from talking to tons of gay guys every night who were seeking a mate that CONFIDENCE is really sexy to alot of men...and that is just one thing...there are so many others that have nothing to do with penis size...

If you decide to overcome this insecurity you can do it...give yourself a chance.

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My apologies...I dont' usually like to give the same advice on a subject repeatedly but I think you really need to do something about this so it is worth repeating.

[ManicReptile21]

OH-MY-GOD. ARE YOU SERIOUSLY LETTING THE SIZE OF YOUR SCHLONG AND SEX HALT YOUR PROGRESS IN LIFE?!??!?!?! DAFAQ IS THIS SHIT? I'M SERIOUS. WHAT THE FUCK? HOW DOES THE SIZE OF YOUR SCHLONG AFFECT YOUR WANTING TO LEARN FRENCH? HOW DOES LACK OF SEX INTERFERE WITH DETERMINATION FOR LEARNING MARTIAL ARTS?!?!?!? QUIT THINKING WITH YOUR GODDAMN PENIS FOR A DAY AND MAYBE YOU'LL BE HAPPIER! OMG, seriously. You know what? Why dont you go pay a whore and have sex with him. Maybe then you'll realize your adolescent thought process is outdated and immature. You say you get sad when a hot guy passes by because you think about being single all your life. But you cant let that interfere with your living. You have goals. You've had them since you were little and your letting loneliness and a 5 minute popping of le cherry get in the way of goals that have been there for decades. Get your priorities straight, pull your act together and snap out of it. When you are honest- kind- forgiving and sincere. KEY WORD- SINCERE- NOT MASTURBATING IN THE VIEWING ROOM "SINCERE". THE SINCERE THAT PULLS DETERMINATION-ENERGY- AND YOUR WORK ETHIC TOGETHER. THATS WHEN A REAL MAN WILL NOTICE YOU. HE WILL KNOW THAT YOURE NOT THINKING WITH YOUR PENIS AND LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE. Think about it. If a guy only loved you for your sex, and didn't like the way you looked, hated your goals in life, and hated all the activities you love. WOULD YOU LOVE HIM? IF YOU SAY YES. YOU ARE A LOW SELF ESTEEM LOSER AND YOU NEED TO GO TO THERAPY. BECAUSE LOVING SOMEONE ONLY FOR SEX IS NOT LOVE. THAT-IS-LUST. Youre a grown man, Why don't you act like one for a change hmm?

[gayboyindia24]

@maniclewis-you got me wrong.Its just not abt the penis thing its about my addiction for sex,porn,meeting people and hving random sex.I understand the fact that most of gays do have random sex but i am always in the mood of sex n loosing my focus.but thanks 2 evryone out here for your valuable suggestions espcially@east.

[Rainbowmum]

Sweetie you have to let go of your addiction.
Do not let your addiction rule your life, you and you alone can get rid of this addiction.

[ManicReptile21]

@maniclewis-you got me wrong.Its just not abt the penis thing its about my addiction for sex,porn,meeting people and hving random sex.I understand the fact that most of gays do have random sex but i am always in the mood of sex n loosing my focus.but thanks 2 evryone out here for your valuable suggestions espcially@east.

Did you not read what I said? Addiction for sex=THINKING WITH YOUR PENIS. It's the same damn thing. Ugh forget it. Obviously nothing that i threw at you stuck and that's your problem. Not mine. I gave my input don't come crying to me in five years when you're still alone.

[hue]

Sexual addiction is challenging and far more difficult than drug or alcohol addiction
in my opinion. (See, I can use the Shift Key.) Alcoholics can say, "I have 23 days
without drinking." What can sex addicts say, "I have 23 days without thinking?"
Sexual desire is a part of who we are, but you can start by staying away from
the porn. I used to be obsessed with porn and let the obsession destroy my
life and the lives of those around me. Like the alcoholic, there's no "cutting down"
on the porn...it is far too demanding to allow such a thing. You have to stop all
porn viewing and related media. I think you'll find that your desire for men will
still be there but that the sexual obsession will grow back to normal healthy
desires. At least that's been my experience.

Ok, so I'm obsessing with cross-dressing at the moment, lol (pardon the text
language...should I say "giggle tee hee?") but porn and the intense sexual
thoughts that once controlled me no longer have dominate me. It took a
life catastrophe (many) to wake me up but life goes on and yours will, too.

It sounds like you are dealing with the "poor me" junk that I deal with sometimes.
It helps to focus on others who are in need to help us get the focus off ourselves.
Maybe consider finding a charity that means something to you where you could
offer help of some kind (please, not a boys soccer team). If we concern ourselves
with other who are hurting, often our problems take onless importance to us.

*Note to community: Sorry if my informality in my Posts caused difficulty for any.
I'll try to make better use of my college and grad school education in the future.
Ye Gods I hate the shift key first thing in the morning.

:Butterfly:

[hue]

*Maybe I should show off my education by proofing my Posts before posting? Apologies to all, I will try to do better.