I'm a guy and I look like one but for some reason I've never been able to get past thoughts that people think I look like a women ..it all started When I was in highschool I had smoked some weed and rode a city bus.. And I thought I overheard these two men having a conversation about me that I looked like one of those guys that's born a women but somehow they changed me to a man at birth. And I don't know where that thought came from but it's stuck with me for years.. I always think I'm bearing people talking about me that I may be a women like inside or jokes or conversations people have.. The otherday I overheard these two girls talk talking and one of them asked the other one after I served them their food is that a girl or man? .. And she replied with it's a man... I have really good hearing and I'm pretty sure that's what they said so it upset me.. I'm always worried to speak up sometimes too or let loose because for some reason I'm convinced people can see something that I can't and I'm worried they will notice it wether it be through my walking like a women or my voice changing and sounding women like.. I've been in situations where I thought people around me noticed my voice change or something and the girl looked at me and said your weird... And all I did was answer her question but I think my voice changed because I was laying down and in a comfortable position.. I also noticed that everytime the word tranny or shemale gets brought up that it has something to do with me and I start to get nervous but I try to tell myself it's just a quincidence that they said those words .. My biggest fear is meeting more people and talkIng with them and them realizing something's wrong with me and then they start saying inside jokes or telling me to my face that I sound like a women or that I am one.. Know when I look in the mirror I see a man and I sound like a guy when I speak .. Soo why am still not sure about this ?.. Why haven't I let this thought go.?.. The thought still crosses my mInd everytime Im around people.. I even thought up this conspiracy that my parents knew I was a girl and everyone knows this... I just know this all started with weed which I don't use anymore.. My main concern is that I want to be able to hang around and talk. To people without having these thoughts that everyone I talk to might start thinking I'm a girl .. And I don't feel like one and am not interested in looking like one either.. Any advice o. How this could have started or why I still have these thoughts?
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ok, I normally don't recommend this, but you could do with some counselling. You are way too paranoid and self conscious which I would hazard to guess would stem from a lack of self esteem possibly from something not too pleasant in your childhood.
You need to be given the tools to deal with your paranoia, so a social worker/counsellor would be a good starting point.
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I rarely recommend professional help - too many bad experiences personally and, others I've heard about from friends but, in this case I'm recommending professional help. This really sounds like Body dysmorphic disorder to a degree that you need help.
Find a therapist or psychologist that can help you gain a more realistic body image, and some self esteem as well.
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Instead of a psychiatrist or psychologist, I would recommend a licensed professional counselor. That therapist will provide a personal and professional disclosure statement that describes where they "come from" in terms of counseling theories and approaches, tell you up front about the cost and what you should expect from engaging with them beyond the first couple of assessment sessions.
If you don't get offered one you should ask for one. If she/he is licensed and says she/he does not have one, that's your first clue you should NOT engage with them.
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what i would do is take it as a compliment from that person. at least thats what i do. like in high school i had shoulder length hair and id have straight guys come up behind me and start flirting with me( and im a dude as well)... at least they would till i turned around and they recognized me:biggrin:
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I hate to put this so crudely, but you don't feel like a woman, you don't want to be a woman, do you have a complete set of male genitalia, if the answer is yes than you are a guy, and I doubt you are a transgendered woman because you said you don't feel like a woman.
How would you define your male ness, most people go by genitalia, some go by internal gender identity.
Identify your gender based on what you think, bad yes on your anatomy, and mental state. To hell with what others say.if we all ran around naked we could tell, but some joker speculating what's in your pants or in your mind based on facial features is just that,a joker.
Know your self. I personally have a real foul taste in my mouth from a therapist experience. So I don't tell or suggest therapy. But don't let my experience cloud your judgment.
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Lots of good advice already given but get yourself some good professional help by a "gay" friendly therapist or someone who specialises in this type of thing. I think you are very brave to let us inside and I honestly think getting some help will be the best thing. Remember you are special and loved by us here........take care and all the best. Please keep us informed by what is happening and we are always here if you need to talk or chill out. Take care..........
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