Falling for a Confused guy

[musicman92]

Ok so this is what's going on. Recently a friend of mine told me he was gay he is 21. I am 20 and openly gay to all my friends so he felt he could come and talk to me about it. We talked for hours about his feelings and what he was thinking and i told him if he ever needed someone to talk to I was there. As time went on we began flirting with each other and he told me to come hang out anytime. So last week we made plans to hang out and ended up at a gay bar. We talked all night and he felt extremely comfortable because he kept running into people he knew at the bar. By the end of the night he was openly telling people he was gay! I thought it was great because he seemed so comfortable. Now during all this time I began to develop feelings for this friend. So we went back to his place that night and he asked me to stay i said yes and he told me i could sleep in his bed. I figured he would take one side and I would take the other seeing as he was relatively new to this and still pretty confused and as far as i knew we were JUST FRIENDS. Well when I got into the bed he pulled me up to him and just wrapped his arms around me and held me. He was holding my hands and stroking my wrists. I was thrilled to be honest... anyway we just laid there and talked for hours. He told me that he really liked me and was talking as if he wanted to see where things between us could go. Then right before we fell asleep we started kissing. It was perfect. the next day i get up to go home and everything is still great until about 11 when i get a text message that basically said he was still really unsure about everything and just wasnt ready for any of this. which i totally understood. but now he is telling people that he is straight again and trying to convince himself that this is all a phase (he has been with other guys before me). I can't help but still like the guy and its tearing me up inside to watch him try to convince himself that these feelings don't exist. I know i just need to come to terms with the fact that he is not ready and move on but its really hard and I just want to help him. Any advice anyone??

[Blue]

You said it yourself, accept it and move on. Really that's all you can do. Yes it's hard, but holding a candle for him won't do you any good and will keep you from finding the right guy someday.

Take your time but do move on.

[Rainbowmum]

First let me say welcome to G.S.

I think the best thing you can do is move on .

[LateBloomer]

You said it yourself, accept it and move on. Really that's all you can do. Yes it's hard, but holding a candle for him won't do you any good and will keep you from finding the right guy someday.

Take your time but do move on.

I usually call it "leaving the light on"...

But in this case, I think the candle metaphor works better.

Light the candle, live your life. Soon enough that candle will burn down and the flame will extinguish.