I feel as though most pornography doesn't capture the true essence of passion, chemistry and love between two, sometimes multiple individuals. It's just sex without substance. Straight guys (so they claim) having sex with other guys are more often than not void of emotion, and intensity.
While I watch it on occasion, it doesn't really do much besides provide that immedaite gratification. Then again, that's its true intention.
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Agreed. Of interest is that porn is what brought me, an ostensibly straight man, here. I grew up in a Midwestern US Catholic world, programmed to be homophobic and strictly heterosexual. If not for the Internet, I would never have chatted with gay men, nor seen gay sex films. I agree that porn lacks passion and emotion. It can be demeaning. Yet, when I saw my first video of gay sex, it opened my eyes. My response was the opposite of what I expected it to be, and confronted everything I was trained to believe.
Now I fantasize about being with a man, and I when I think about sex, as we all do, I think about pleasing another man. If I had not seen male porn, I would have never responded as I do today.
My hunch is that this was lurking inside me my adult life. I just did not know this, as I had no benchmark or imagination of what it would be like to be intimate with another man. That may sound ridiculous to you, but it's reality to me. I now have regrets - regrets that this may have been the path I should have pursued my entire adult life. I just did not know that I had latent gay desires, in part because I had no clue what they could be. No doubt, for many of you, your feelings and instincts were spontaneous, or perhaps you were lucky enough to have encountered someone early enough in your life to set you on your path. I never did.
I am in my 50s. I am no longer young, and I have come to realize that I am undesirable as a result. Experiences that you treasure will only be moments that I can only dream about and wonder, "what if." I will likely never know the happiness that you have experienced. I say this because sex is not an end-all/be-all, but in almost every fulfilling relationship, it is often the spark and essence that makes intimacy special. While open departs from reality, it is my bleacher seat high up in the stands to the romantic and physical playing field that male couples enjoy in real life. I am in a heterosexual marriage, on that is happy and loving, but one in which my female wife lost all interest and desire for sex well over a decade ago. While I have tried to deny any association with sexual desires, it's like squeezing a balloon. It eventually led me to discover who I am, someone I never understood existed.
When I chat with gay men, I often ask the same painfully naive question: "How did it start for you? What was your first experience? How did you discover your feelings and passions?" For many of you, it's obvious, and you may find my questions hilarious and stupid. But for me, your answers give me a framework of understanding g about myself.
I can't start over, I can't be in my teens or 20s again. And I understand that gay porn is about as realistic as the tooth fairy. But without seeing porn for all its many faults and vulgarity I would never have confronted the person I am inside. I hope you can somehow understand. I am trapped between two worlds, envious of you for who you are and what you have experienced. Seeing porn is my only way of visualizing what could have been.
I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thank you.
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I think it's fine in moderation. I don't see that I would watch it if I was in a relationship, at least I hope I wouldn't feel the need to. Not being in a relationship now, I watch it now and then but not much.
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Porn has been crucial in my attempts to build an immunity to masturbation.
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I think porn is perfectly healthy in moderation. It's only a problem when people get addicted, which is basically like everything else.
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