My guy friend keeps giving me mixed signals -- need advice!!!
11-14-2012, 04:39 PM
AuFait, I think you have already ascertained that this guy is not honest with you. Maybe he is really confused, maybe he's just playing with you because he can see it's getting to you. If I were you, I'd no longer take what he says for face value. You've checked, and it doesn't add up.
The other possibility is that he wants to keep his options open, and maybe he's not ready to come out, as such, at the moment. I believe I've told you this before. Maybe there's more to it when he says he's bisexual than what he's said to you. The thing is, the more he gives out these mixed signals, the harder it is for him to be really clear about where he stands.
One other possibility, and I believe this might be true, is that he is indeed not interested in any other guy than you, in that sense, and can't see himself doing it with some other guy.
In a reverse situation, I hark back to the time when I had a girlfriend, someone I almost would have married, had the circumstances been different. Once we'd broken up, for reasons that were due to our lives going separate ways rather than the romance dying out, I promised myself I'd never be in a relationship with another woman, as I sensed I would not be true to myself and I'd be lying to the next women who shared my life; I held strong and lived a celibate life for 18 years until I met my man.... I'm sure I was still delivering mixed signals to the ladies who were interested in me and who thought they stood a chance. In fact they didn't. Maybe his situation is the same as mine, but towards the other sex.
Ok, so I can now admit that I love ''MEN'', but in fact I don't love "MEN", I love "ONE MAN", my boyfriend, partner, lover... and I don't know that I could love another man, right now. Sure, I would probably go looking for another male relationship if this relationship ceased to be some day, rather than female companionship. Maybe this is what he's saying, and maybe he can't find the words to say it, or explain it well. You'll just have to accept that he's not particularly good at explaining what he feels and how he feels.
In the meantime, I'm not quite sure how you feel about this guy and whether you'd like him to be more to you than he is at the moment, but maybe it's best to go looking elsewhere, because it really doesn't sound as if he's committing himself to your relationship, other than as a friend.
If you're uncomfortable with the relationship, do tell him, but maybe you also need to srike up new friendships for the kind of relationship that would eventually fulfill you.
If you are comfortable being friends with him, and maybe sometimes getting some "benefits", so be it, otherwise break the friendship and go on the hunt. Plenty more fish in the sea, goes the saying. I think you fear the saying may not be so true after all.
The other possibility is that he wants to keep his options open, and maybe he's not ready to come out, as such, at the moment. I believe I've told you this before. Maybe there's more to it when he says he's bisexual than what he's said to you. The thing is, the more he gives out these mixed signals, the harder it is for him to be really clear about where he stands.
One other possibility, and I believe this might be true, is that he is indeed not interested in any other guy than you, in that sense, and can't see himself doing it with some other guy.
In a reverse situation, I hark back to the time when I had a girlfriend, someone I almost would have married, had the circumstances been different. Once we'd broken up, for reasons that were due to our lives going separate ways rather than the romance dying out, I promised myself I'd never be in a relationship with another woman, as I sensed I would not be true to myself and I'd be lying to the next women who shared my life; I held strong and lived a celibate life for 18 years until I met my man.... I'm sure I was still delivering mixed signals to the ladies who were interested in me and who thought they stood a chance. In fact they didn't. Maybe his situation is the same as mine, but towards the other sex.
Ok, so I can now admit that I love ''MEN'', but in fact I don't love "MEN", I love "ONE MAN", my boyfriend, partner, lover... and I don't know that I could love another man, right now. Sure, I would probably go looking for another male relationship if this relationship ceased to be some day, rather than female companionship. Maybe this is what he's saying, and maybe he can't find the words to say it, or explain it well. You'll just have to accept that he's not particularly good at explaining what he feels and how he feels.
In the meantime, I'm not quite sure how you feel about this guy and whether you'd like him to be more to you than he is at the moment, but maybe it's best to go looking elsewhere, because it really doesn't sound as if he's committing himself to your relationship, other than as a friend.
If you're uncomfortable with the relationship, do tell him, but maybe you also need to srike up new friendships for the kind of relationship that would eventually fulfill you.
If you are comfortable being friends with him, and maybe sometimes getting some "benefits", so be it, otherwise break the friendship and go on the hunt. Plenty more fish in the sea, goes the saying. I think you fear the saying may not be so true after all.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
