Asked for be Godfather of my brothers son

[EvenOlderButWiser]

You sound like you want to do the right thing which I really admire you for.

Have you thought about sitting down with your brother and his wife and explaining the dilemma you're in?

Your sexuality doesn't define how good or bad a Godparent you will be.

Good luck!

ObW

[Lilitu]

The way I see it, there's only one solution that could possibly have a satisfactory outcome: coming clean.

If you try to hide yourself from your brother, it'll end in very awkward relations thereon.
If you hide from your grandma, the same could very well happen, and there will be alot of remorse when she inevitably has to leave you, and you didn't open up to her.

Sure there is the risk that things could go wrong when you come out, but that risk is overridden by the fact that coming out to everyone is the only option you have that might end in happiness for all.

You'd be best advised, I think, to just take the leap of faith and trust that your family is unconditionally based on love, and that goes above all other factors.

[KJ1989]

Still waiting to talk to my best friend about, I pretty certain I know what I need to do, it's just difficult.

[dfiant]

Yeah it's difficult, the unknown is always difficult so your fears are normal.

Good luck and do what is right for YOU.

[Zennyboy]

Im a Godfather to my brothers son and daughter, my niece and nephew, i had no problems with it, because its more about the morale responsibility rather than the religion to me.

My brother knows im Gay, but told me he elected me and my sister as god parents for the factor that we have more stable lives than most his friends and that, and so it was rather a honor that he asked me &^.^

[princealbertofb]

It makes sense to me to ask another member of the family... Good for your brother and congrats to you.

[KJ1989]

So just told my brother.

Explained that I'm gay, and that I wanted him and his wife to know out of respect to them. He seemed to take it well, so that's good.

Also explained that I'm not particularly religious and that I wouldn't be comfortable going into the church and saying whatever stuff needs to be said to be godfather which he was fine with too. Of course I told him I'll be there for my nephew whenever it is needed too.

All in all I think it went well, time will tell now to see how things go. He said he won't be telling anyone, but time will tell I guess.

Zenny I get that completely, but morally for me, when I don't consider myself a catholic and when the roman catholic church is anti-gay I can't commit myself to an oath in a church to raise the child in the catholic faith in the event anything would happen.

For the moral side of actually looking after him etc, I don't think I need to go into a church to do that, I'll always be there for anyone of my nephews.

[LateBloomer]

Well done.
I hope things go just as well with your grandmother if that's what you decide to do.

Best,

[chillythoughts]

good luck but remember older people are stuck in their old ways and wont change. even if its family. i know this cus i knew my parents were homophobic and i saw all the signs and yet i told them and now where are they? disowned me. so all im saying be careful and cautious.

[rover330]

all of this prefaced with a big IMHO

being a godparent is a big responsibility. you're responsible for the spiritual development of the child... in various religions, it can mean making sure they are baptized. being a Unitarian, that was never really a big prerequisite for me. each to his own.

Maybe it could mean encouraging the kid to be themselves, to be true to themself no matter what spirituality they choose, or do not choose... just be true to yourself and never limit yourself that you can't learn a thing or two over time.

I still think people have a conscience. That has to come from somewhere or something...