So my ex was pretty crummy. i moved 900 miles, gave up school and my family to be with him. and he abused and used me then threw me out. so here i am 900 miles away from the family that hates me, not in school, sucky job that makes life hard to afford. and horrid roommates that i want to strangle on the daily.
i want to leave. i NEED to live this town and state. its full of too many memories and too many ppl that know each other. i want a fresh start far away. but i dont know how to get one. idk what to do. i cant afford school and when i tried to get in at the beginning of the current semester it was too expensive and i got denied all my loans. i cant catch a break. i've applied all over the country just to get rejected or for it too be to costly. so im giving up on going back to college. i'll have a bad job forever i dont care. as long as i can get away from here!!!!
WHAT SHOULD I DO!?!?!?
i thought of North Carolina. its close to my sister who still talks to me and is coming around a little bit
EDIT: i know it says <-- "#CaliforniaBound" under my pic. But thats a dream. i cant afford to move there. not yet anyways.
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Really the only thing you can do right now , it keep on working , it may be a crap job , but it does pay.
Save some money every week and before you know it you will have enough to leave that town.
Unless there is some charity group that can help you ,help yourself ,by having a set goal to get out of there.
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Only you know what you should do. I am not you and I do not know your whole situation.
I would side with Mum, suggest you stick it out a while, save up a few dollars on the side. A raman meal each night over eating a 'real' meal (assuming you eat more than once a day) can save you a few dollars.
I know when I was in similar situation I sold everything I could, gave away the rest then packed a duffel bag and rode my thumb to the next state. Of course that was about 20 years ago, life as much different and it was possible to drift from place to place and find the odd job - usually temp hard labor to put a meal in your gut or to rent a cheap hotel/motel room.
I was wiling to give up a lot of material 'stuff' to relocate. I do not know how willing you are to make sacrifices at this time.
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I can't tell you what to do but, I do think the best is to stick it out and save all you can.
I also understand desperation and, being willing to risk it all to get out. If you have ID, or someone that will verify that you are going to live with, or work for them in another state, many sheriff departments in the US have a Traveler's Aid program that will buy you a bus ticket - one way.
If you do get desperate enough to ride your thumb, be as safe as you can doing it. Stick to the 18 wheelers and, get the Company name and truck number BEFORE you get in and, know that no one one rides for free - at the least offer to clean the driver's truck. Now if the driver is of a mind, he might ask for sexual favors, so consider that before attempting to ride your thumb.
Also know that NO driver can legally give you a ride without you signing a hold harmless insurance waiver and none will ask you to do so. That means you would have to hide if the truck had to go through a weigh station, into a customer, or got pulled over by the cops.
No hitching is not the best idea but, trucks are easier to identify, and when the driver knows you have his company name and truck number, he is unlikely to risk his career by doing something you would report to his company - it's safer than cars which are harder to identify, find or report if something goes wrong.
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Hey DB,
Sorry to hear about the situation you find yourself in at the moment. You might think there is no end in site, but its important to know that you do have control of the situation, although it may not seem like it right now.
Your still young, so why not focus on what you can do, rather than something you can't (for whatever reason)
Now this may sound radical, but here are a few ideas that Im going to throw out there for you to have a think about:
1. The military - and I don't mean the French Foreign Legion! Has a lot of things going for it including learning a profession, free food and board, domestic and international travel, college credits, steady wage. Of course Im sure there may be lots of (negative) feedback from some on here, but as an ex (UK) military guy I can say my military service has set me up for life.
2. You don't say what job your doing now, but even your sucky job needs an equally sucky supervisor or manager. Why not look at what it takes to gain a promotion.
3. Can you do your sucky job in any other state? As mum said it may be crap, but it pays the bills, so perhaps its a stepping stone to getting you into another state.
4. Volunteer. There are loads of volunteer programmes (certainly international) that you could look at. Want to spend 6 months in Africa - volunteer for a programme. Believe me, once you've been somewhere less developed than the US, you will personally develop much more as an individual, learn to appreciate what you have, and have a great addition to your CV.
Seems to me that what you really need is a kick up the backside, some thinking outside the box and to stop feeling sorry for yourself which is something that can very quickly spiral into a form of depression.
The GS forum is the right place to get that :-)
Oh to be 20 again! The world is yours for the taking. Go get it 
ObW
x
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thanks for the replies...
Due to Medical reasons i cant join the military. tried already lol
Everything i own fits into a suitcase and a backpack. so im well on my way to minimal.
I am still working and trying to save up. its just hard to save money when everything cost so much, food (i eat as little and as cheap as i can), rent, electric, water, toiletries etc...
oh well. guess i have no choice but to wait and see what happens
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You can become an old man while you "wait and see what happens". It's your life, you have to make it happen! It's not easy, it's not always fun, but don't wait for the world to come to you.
ObW had some good suggestions above, but make your own list. They don't have to be huge possibilities or goals, in fact better to give yourself some bite sized goals to start. Volunteering can be great, especially to keep yourself from being alone around the holidays. You'll be helping others and yourself!
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Well, for one......California SUCKS! I got stuck there for 4 years and finally got back to Texas in 2009.
There are only two kinds of people I found in CA...the ones who want to kill you and ones who want to steal everything you have. And NOBODY in CA gives a damn about laws, ethics, or anything decent.
Dont get me wrong, there are a FEW decent people in CA, but Im taling about the majority of people there.
Stay away from California! Visit, but dont live there.
As for your problem. Well, been in kinda the same situation, just without the boyfriend and abuse.
Thats how I got stuck in CA for 4 years.
Here are some considerations:
*Find a job with a company where they will move you where they need you. This way you get to travel, but its always on the companys "dime".
*Join several temp agencies. If you are fast on the keyboard with few errors, you can get a job through a temp agency with little problem. I had a friend who could type 95 words a minute with NO errors. He couldnt believe he could get a job through a temp agency just for typing that fast. I finally had to force him into the car one day, and drive him to a temp agency myself. He got tested on his computer skills and typing, which he passed. And they were SO blown away by his typing skills, they got him a job making $12.00 an hour with a prestigious company the next week! Dont register with just ONE temp agency, register with several. They all usually specialize in certain business areas. Plus, as long as you are registered, you can use their training facilities for free.
*There are these grants called Pell Grants. If you can get these college grants, they are free...you do not have to pay them back. There are also many organizations, companies, and businesses who have special grants through thier own organizations that you can apply for. You can contact your local chamber of commerce for this information or any of the local colleges. They dont advertise this information, so you have to ask.
*Try taking and paying for one class at a time. It may be a slower way to pay for school, but at least you will be taking the road towards something better. AND, by taking all the classes separately, you can just take the most important classes you need to take. If you can pass all the tests at the end of you last class you need to take, you should still be able to get your degree.
*Here's a "trick" a lot of people dont know about.....
Take one class in college. Something concerning the major you are interested in later on.
After your first month in school. you can start applying for new jobs. On your resume and on your applications, you need to state you are in college, working towards (your major) whatever certification you are aiming for.
Once you have the job you want, you dont need to go to college anymore, unless you want to. (which you should do anyway)
A lot of people who dont have money to get a college degree do this in order to get a really good job.
The point of this is that businesses LOVE to hire people in college. Doesnt really matter what your major or class you are taking is, but it helps if it is pertinent to the degree you would like. Once you have the job and decide you dont want to continue school, you can stop after the class you are taking is over. If you like, you can take your course class by class. It takes longer, but you pay for it as you take it and you wont have all those bills to pay when you graduate like most grads do. AND it is possible that your job at the new company has a benefit plan for continuing education.
*Save up all you can for moving. Sell what you dont need. Contact LGBT organizations in cities where you would be interested in living. See if they know trustworthy people that could rent you a room so you can move there and look for a job. Also, look at the current job market online there, before making any decisions.
I wish I could afford a house. Ive talked with a few people who have had issues with families and living conditions, and it makes me feel bad I cant help. I had one guy I talked to for a while who wanted to move to Dallas, and he lived in S. Carolina. At the time I had a pretty decent sized apartment, and told him he could stay with me until he found something, but I never heard from him again...so I dont know what happened to him. He was having a bad time with bullies in his town, so I hope he got out of there ok.
Anyway, there are tons of options, I have only mentioned a few.
Hope these give you some ideas.
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Geminize Wrote:You can become an old man while you "wait and see what happens". It's your life, you have to make it happen! It's not easy, it's not always fun, but don't wait for the world to come to you.
THIS IS THE TRUTH!!!!!
I "waited" and "waited" for something good to happen to me when I was younger, but it never did....now Im "too old" in the eyes of the world for anything, even though I can do anything I want to.
If you dont do it NOW, you never will.
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I don't Know what to do!
