Am I running away?

[Marvinteck]

I don't want to admit it, but part of me feels like if I go, I'm admitting defeat and retreating. The rest of me wants to put myself in a situation where the benefits outweigh the disadvantages.

A change of scenery sounds like it would do you good. Focus on yourself and ignore what other people think. I moved from NY to SC six years ago and it was the best decision I could of made. I am so much happier down here. New surroundings will enable you to look at the situation allot more objectively than if you stayed in the middle of it all.

[mihai]

retreating? you need to find yourself and accept yoruself, that is the main reason you want to move out. you can't accept yourself cause you don;t have what you need in order to do that... stop talking randomly, the 1st thought is always the best. So good luck in Portland?

[Counselor]

Added pros include: more sushi places, more breweries, and more eye candy at the gay bars (which exist there period, unlike here). Plus a couple of good friends of mine live there, and I don't mind the big city versus the more rural attitude here, and the defeat is minor compared to the interest in getting myself there and moving on with life.

[Varanus]

This is something you need to decide on for yourself, for your own health and sanity.
Some people can go all there lives stuck in one town and mentality...For some this may work but for others its a dreaded night mare.
At times it can be a tad bit full on moving to a new place but it also creates a new found source of independence, confidence and just a general well being...Plus all the new and wonderful people you get to meet.
If I where you id say go for it but in the end this is for you to decide upon and not anyone else.
I was kicked out of home when I was 16 and ive never looked back, ive created my own network of friends and "Family" and have anything I could ever ask for...Some times we just need that push in life to truly discover just how great we are.

[DaviBabi]

Admitting defeat would be giving up and staying where you are. you sir are brave considering a new adventurous life. go. explore. meet new people and grow as a person.

[Counselor]

It seems every time my life undergoes a fundamental change, I have to change my surroundings as well, like when I gave up on religion, when I got married, etc.

edit: Does anyone have any recommendations on what I might do with my dog? I don't know anyone that can take her, even temporarily, and I've considered giving her to Paws to Adopt.

[Double007]

I'm not sure where you are living now, but it sounds like Portland is better. It sounds like a bigger city with more opportunity. I would take the friend up on their offer and see what opportunities are available before you make a big decision. I think the only defat you face is not trying. Maybe a new city would be better and allow you to live for you. You can start fresh and meet people you want to meet. Just saying.

[Counselor]

I'm not sure where you are living now, but it sounds like Portland is better. It sounds like a bigger city with more opportunity. I would take the friend up on their offer and see what opportunities are available before you make a big decision. I think the only defat you face is not trying. Maybe a new city would be better and allow you to live for you. You can start fresh and meet people you want to meet. Just saying.

I live about an hour drive on the freeway North of Portland, in a mill town area called Longview. The diversity support here is fine, but the "scene", for lack of a better word, is pathetic. If I had the resources, I would start setting up gay single mixers, but I think the results would be disastrous. This area is rotten with religion.

[Rainbowmum]

Counselor you probably do not want to hear this , but here goes anyway.
You sir are putting way too much pressure on yourself.

It doesn't matter where you achieve your goals , it the journey that matters , all those bends and bumps in the road are part of the journey.

Do not let failed relationships ,or what not, rob you from what could be great, get out there do what you want and enjoy while you can.

Take a risk once in a while the view and rewards are worth it.

[Counselor]

I always put too much pressure on myself, it's nothing new, lol

Thanks for the input, everyone I know has been mostly supportive, I think I'm just looking for excuses to not do what I really want.

Edit: my ex-wife told me she's been dreaming a lot about helping me move, and she's usually right about things I can't find an answer for