So.. I'm 28 years old, never had a boyfriend or real relationship.. and sometimes I get this overwhelming feeling of loneliness. I currently live in a small town.. with very few LGBT people that I know of... and online dating has been fairly bad. I normally stay positive, but sometimes I get down.. especially at night.. and I almost temporarily lose hope in believing that I'll ever find someone for me =\. I'm disabled.. so it makes it harder.. and like I said, online dating sites have been terrible.. seems everyone is just after the best looks.
What do you do when you're lonely? I tend to write.. but lately it hasn't helped much.. and I've been trying to cover it up with drinking.. which doesn't really help either.. nor is it healthy. Any insight or suggestions? Can anyone relate? Right now I just feel so down.. out of nowhere, and I really hate it.
Thanks..
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
•
Throw myself into an activity...if I'm too emotionally distracted then a simple physical activity. It's like meditation. And exercise with sauna also releases endorphins as well as a tiredness that can drive away loneliness..I especially like it when a cat kneads my sore abs after (pets are also good for loneliness, btw).
Other than that, throwing myself into a project I think important. And that has an added side effect of making you more attractive to others, btw.
•
I ´m alone the most days ...but I don´t feel lonely... doing Homework, the animals ( in time I have a sow with 4 piglets in my livingroom because ist to cold outside that needs a lot of time ) I´m reading, listening to audio-books... work on my Homepage. And since a few years I work on Art - crochet in the evenings and at night when I can´t sleep.... thats a good thing...because you can sell it and make money for buy some things I need or just want to have.
•
I'm in the same position you are, except you have prolly been dealing with this for logne rhtna I have seeing that your older.
Sometimes I like to write as well, but it helps a lot to watch a funny show or movie or read a funny book or comic. Things that make you smile can put you in a good mood for a bit. Try not to drink, alcohol is a depressant and you wont feel any better. I tend to play games, find a forum or chat thing to talk to people about things and stuff. Listening to music helps, especially if you're doing something else. If things get too quiet, the fact that you're alone becomes more apparent. I've found dating sites to be pretty shitty also, but you don't have to look strictly for someone to date, it can be a good place to meet friends who think the same as you. It's all about getting the motivation to start an activity or a project unwillingly. When people get lonely and depressed, even their hobbies can seem very unappealing. It's starting something that takes the most effort. Once your in it, you tend to forget about whatever it was that was bothering you and you start feeling better.
As for what exactly to do, i have no idea really, it kinda depends. What kind of stuff do you like? Is there anything you've always wanted to learn? Like an instrument or how to draw or maybe learn another language.
I tend to force myself to go out, maybe take a walk on the beach or at some random park. I like to take pictures so I always take my camera with me. I've actually found some cool stuff, it makes me feel accomplished sometimes lol.
•
I just keep myself as busy as I can. I do things that keep my mind off my thoughts and I also try to go out as much as possible. Even if I don't feel up for it I'll go out and take the chance to meet new people.
•
I like being alone, I rarely feel lonely. Sure for a bit right after a break up or something, but then it's just because I'm adjusting to the other person not being here and, I know it will go away shortly.
Maybe that's because I don't like crowds or, maybe it's because I have my animals and, plenty of things I enjoy doing by myself. I'm not the sort that thinks he needs someone to do things with. Sure if I have a partner that likes doing the things I like doing, I love sharing those things but, having someone to be with is not a requirement for me to enjoy doing those things.
•
I feel you too. Drinking is never the answer, it's just temporarily ease the pain a little bit, speaking from experience. I'm 32 have never had a boyfriend nor a relationship. I'm still coming out so I don't know what to do. It's hard. I pretty lonely right now. What I do to ease the pain to not focused on the loneliness is to connect with friends and family, the ones that loves you. I also watch movies, but one thing that have helped the most is listening to music. I don't about you but listening to music just lifts my spirits and just somehow gives me such joy for some reason. Best wishes.
•
Video games for me seems to take the edge off, especially mutiplayer online games. It solves two aspects of being lonely as it seems to take you to a different reality as well as giving you a change to sort of socialize with others. I typically do not play with the same people, but listening to others and chiming in from time to time gives you different topics that are open for discussion. Sometimes, talking to others who have no relevance to your life tends to shed some light on your own life.
Scott.
•
