Need advice on meeting people

[djharris79]

I'm going on 33 years old now, I have never been in a gay relationship. I have no clue on how to approach a guy. I can't tell if a guy is straight or not and I have never been to gay bars. I feel so clueless and lonely and I don't know what to do. I have tried this one dating site and a guy asked to meet and chickened out so I made up excuses. I have his phone number but I can't call him cause I don't know what to say. Should I go to gay bars to meet people or what should I do? Help! Don't want to be alone and miserable and 40.

[Nick9]

Hi Harris, I don't any useful advice for you, but I hope someone will. Try to use search option in the upper right corner. I am sure we talked about it several times here, maybe you will find some piece of advice that you could use.

[Undreamt]

Going straight to a gay club/bar can be daunting if you haven't been before.

Have a look online for any gay friendly sports/hobby groups in your area.
Getting some gay friends and meeting people through friends of friends can work.

[Blue]

Try learning to make friends, you never know when one might turn out to be more than a friend. Don't get in a rush, just get to know people. Sooner or later, you will find one that is gay and, just maybe you will come to love that friend and, they will come to love you. Maybe then, you two will star talking about the possibilities of being a couple.

My point is take your time to know them and, give them time to know you and, at the least you make a friend.

[Rainbowmum]

Now ,now. You are a perfectly nice looking young man, I doubt you will be sitting on a shelf for too long.
I would say , get involved in the gay community in your area.
I could be wrong but I highly doubt you will find the love of your life in a Gay bar, but by all means get out there be seen enjoy yourself.

It's all about confidence , how you see yourself the image you project.
Remember change begins with you.

[CoffeeBean85]

Putting yourself out there is definitely a start. There are many dating sites out there. I'm already using a few of 'em lol. They have gay dating apps for smartphones too. As for the chickening out part, I guess its pretty normal if it would be your first date with a guy. Just talk to guys and when you feel comfortable, then meet them for coffee or something. Gay bars are also good for meeting people, even though some are just looking for a hookup.

"Love comes when you least expect it" -- I don't know

[chillythoughts]

dude!!!!!!!!! its not hard to strike a conversation with a guy. ask him if hes done anything or changed anything in his life since you last talked or start by getting to know him a bit. ask who his favorite actor/singer is what his fav movie is. his fav food. fav color and so on... not difficult dude. But I wish you luck...


sorry if this sounds a bit rude, I actually wasnt trying to be at all.

[Geminize]

Sacramento is a big enough city that there must be a LGBT community with various ways to get involved. Gay bars aren't the only way to meet gay guys, but you might find one that works for you. Take your time, make friends, see where it goes. I just found the Sacramento Gay & Lesbian Center online. Check out their calendar or just give them a call. Good luck with it!

[djharris79]

No wasn't rude at all, thanks for the advice.

[RockerBlocks]

(In advance I know i am late on this, Sorry!)

Go somewhere were you know you would enjoy yourself, where you know would meet other men. It doesn't necessarily have to be a gay bar. as most of those clubs mostly contain men that are after whats in your pants rather then whats in your heart.

The more you socialize with everyone around you the better chance there is of finding someone, and you would make some pretty awesome friend's along the way. Just remember if you are feeling lonely, and you feel like there are not homosexual people around you. Just remember that, homosexuality is just as easy to find then heterosexuality. Us gay men can be found everywhere Happy fishing.