alternatively , you could not say anything ~
if you're in a relationship with a woman , don't tell her your straight . and don't tell a guy you're with that you're gay . they can assume what they want , which could probably be that you prefer them to anyone else and your sexuality (whether you're gay/straight or bi) is completely irrelevant .
if they ask , however , then i think it's definitely better to be honest
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Counselor Wrote:I don't think I could get into a relationship without finding out where my boyfriend had been before. I would want to know all about him and what has made him happy, if I can't make him happy just by breathing...
nonsense.
the day you meet anyone you could read like an open book you'll discard him in a second.
where's the mystery? the intrigue? the adventure?
try it yourself. meet anyone and talk about your previous relationships with him. tell him all about what you loved and hated about your former boyfriends. then proceed to tell him everything about yourself- what you like, dislike, what you eat, where you hang out...
come back to tell us how long he lasted.
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megumidesu Wrote:alternatively , you could not say anything ~
if you're in a relationship with a woman , don't tell her your straight . and don't tell a guy you're with that you're gay . they can assume what they want , which could probably be that you prefer them to anyone else and your sexuality (whether you're gay/straight or bi) is completely irrelevant .
if they ask , however , then i think it's definitely better to be honest
my point exactly.
and they wont ask. because they'll assume what they want to assume.
i've never asked any of my former boyfriends if they were bisexual. it never crossed my mind.
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Aeneas Wrote:nonsense.
the day you meet anyone you could read like an open book you'll discard him in a second.
where's the mystery? the intrigue? the adventure?
try it yourself. meet anyone and talk about your previous relationships with him. tell him all about what you loved and hated about your former boyfriends. then proceed to tell him everything about yourself- what you like, dislike, what you eat, where you hang out...
come back to tell us how long he lasted.
So you see no value in a story...interesting.
meggie-sama, pretty please answer my question: how is bi not "on the fence"?
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Aeneas Wrote:my point exactly.
no ... you said that if you were bisexual and in a relationship with a man , you would tell him you're gay (and straight if you were with a woman)
that would be outright lying .
i'm saying that if you don't want to be honest , then not saying anything at all is better .
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megumidesu Wrote:no ... you said that if you were bisexual and in a relationship with a man , you would tell him you're gay (and straight if you were with a woman)
that would be outright lying .
i'm saying that if you don't want to be honest , then not saying anything at all is better .
who on earth dates a guy let alone start a relationship with one and feels the need to say he is gay?
everyone assumes you are gay if you are in a gay nightclub, in a gay bar, in a gay site. i never had to tell anyone i was gay. it was implied the minute i met them.
it would even seem silly for me to kiss a guy and say: "hey im gay". the only reasonable response to that would be "duh!"
only bisexual men feel the need to open themselves about their true nature. for nothing.
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megumidesu Wrote:no ... you said that if you were bisexual and in a relationship with a man , you would tell him you're gay (and straight if you were with a woman)
that would be outright lying .
i'm saying that if you don't want to be honest , then not saying anything at all is better .
I think it might be better worded to say "I'm a man dating a man, in this relationship, I am gay."
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Aeneas Wrote:as such, if i were to fall in love with a girl, i would tell her i am straight. if i were to fall in love with a bloke, i would tell him im gay.
i don't think there's anything wrong with being open and honest about your "true nature" . why would you want to label yourself as something that you're not ? not because you want to keep an open mind or whatever , but because i believe that being honest with yourself and the people you care about is important ~
if someone is in love , then the person they're in love with being bisexual shouldn't bother them at all .
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Counselor Wrote:I think it might be better worded to say "I'm a man dating a man, in this relationship, I am gay."
or , "i'm in a gay relationship"
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Counselor Wrote:So you see no value in a story...interesting.
meggie-sama, pretty please answer my question: how is bi not "on the fence"?
i see too value in a story. but not the story of your life. of anyone's life.
i enter a relationship not to read a biography. i go into a relationship to figure out a puzzle - piece by piece. certain stories will reveal certain pieces. and one day, not in a year or two but more, the puzzle will be complete.
and as far as bisexuals go... the easiest way to try and understand them is to think of them as beings capable of loving any personality, regardless of gender. they might love the smile, the eyes, the attitude, the body but disregard gender.
having said that, i myself dont fully understand them. i did go out with girls and loved one in particular. but, as you put it, being "on the fence" was more trouble than i was willing to handle. its just too confusing, too complicated. so i made a choice and stuck with it.
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