Fallen in love (to a hetero)

[Lecoun]

This is a part of my story.
I study at a boarding school so I am at a dorm during ordinary days.
One year ago, a cute boy came to our school and also dorm. We got to know each other pretty fast and we became friends.
Everybody was telling me something like "He is gay", "He likes cocks" etc. so I was pretty glad for it. Anyway, when I decided to tell him about my sexual orientation last summer holiday (He also lives near to me, around 5 km from me) he said that it was alright for him that he liked me as a friend but he also said that he had never been gay and really loved girls.
He keeps being with me and we are best friends but I am afraid I have fallen in love.
Now days, I am with him almost every day and only that feeling makes me alright but I don't think I'll be ever happy because he will find a girl.

Anybody who's got the same experience? :-) I hope, there is nobody because it is not very cool story..

Why do I need an advice?
I don't know if I should tell him I love him because I am sure I love him :-( Can anybody help me?

[cardiganwearer]

He will indeed find a girl and that will happen whatever your feelings for him. If you had a woman in love with you, who you really got on with, would you change? Thought not.

If he's a good friend that's enormously valuable and should be treasured but best not to waste time on the romantic thing, I've done it myself and I've seen others do it. It clouds your vision and wastes time when you could be chasing men with whom you do stand a chance.

Also, if he's really your friend, imagine how pleased he'll be to see you happy with a boyfriend.

In the meantime it will be horrible and you have my sympathy but best not make it a waste of your time as well.

[Kiid]

I've been there. It's hard to find someone when you gay. But you got to wait for someone or be proactive and find someone. Yes the straight guy I like got girlfriends it hurt a bit but then I grew up some and realized what a good friend he is and that I'd never want to lose that.

He's one of the few really good friends I have. I believe that you should have a handful of friends and be able to count them on one hand.

[Lecoun]

It sounds clever. Thank you :-)

But the difficult thing is that I cannot suppress my feelings. Every time I see him I feel like in heaven or when we play some sports together it feels like I cannot be happier.

Of course, I am quiet clever, I won't tell him and I'll try to find another one. Just what I think .. Nobody will be like him.

[Nick9]

Hi neighbor welcome to GS.

"Nobody will be like him."
Sure won't And that's nice, isn't it?

Your boyfriend will be unique too.

I probably wouldn't tell him how I was feeling. He may not "break up" with you but he may start to feel uncomfortable. If he likes you very much he may start to notice that his "rejection" hurts you and he may want the best for you - and he will leave.

It's ok to have a crush or to fall in love with a straight man. It can bring you joy and happiness too. When you are ready, you will move on.

[megumidesu]

Nobody will be like him.

that doesn't matter . one day you'll meet someone better , because they'll be able to love you back .

unrequited love is always difficult . but just remember ... he didn't ask to be straight , just as you didn't ask to be gay . don't sit around waiting for him and expecting things of him that he can't give you ~

he sounds like a great friend . maybe try and focus your love for him into the friendship instead ?

[Mrmatty77]

I'm in the exact same position and have been for some years now. It really sucks, but the help I got was that its best to make what you can with what relationship you have, even if it does have limits. Just because you can't share your love for him as a couple would, you can still love him as a friend and be there for him as a friend. It's hard to make or even keep really good friends. Be grateful for what you have with him and you'll be happy. Someday you'll end up with someone just as good or even better who will love you equally and express it as such. It's a hard thing to do, but don't stress about ti too much or you'll ruin the friendship and then you'll have nothing. I'm having trouble right now accepting that he'll only be a friend for me, it's ruining our relationship because I cant get myself to accept his girlfriend whom he loves very much. He doesn't want a friend that doesn't support his choices. No one does. I hope you figure it out and get through it better than I am.

[Lecoun]

Mrmatty77:
Thank you for telling me your story. As you say, the best choice is to keep the relationship going on and try not to be so rush to it. I hope your feelings and you will be alright and afterwards we both might laugh at it. It is not easy to go through such world but as the others show and say I and you can also do it.
Please, stay calm as I try to do. :-)

[Evan88]

Just keep on hanging out. Nothing beats real friendship. Im afraid if you would confess that you love him more than just a friend, he would get away from you. You just have to cherish everyone moments with him even if its just pure friendship, who knows, because of your utmost kindness and caring towards him, he might actuall fall in love with you also. But for now, the safest way is to keep things the way they are. Its brave to do some risks sometimes and it gives good results, but thats not the outcome always.

[MikeMG]

I have two friends like this. They are always chasing after straight guys they know they cant have. Once in a while, they get the guy into bed after months of being best friends but it never works out. They always just go back to their girlfriends or pull away from the friendship completely because they see it as a mistake.

You are not like the guys I described, but if you continue down that path its only a matter if time. Do yourself a favor and extricate yourself from the relationship. If you dont, you are just going to be really hurt when he meets that special someone and leaves you in the dust with no time for his friendship.

Hurt a little now, or hurt a lot more later. Maybe try taking a little vacation from the friend ship and start dating just to get your mind off him. Maybe then you can still be friends.