I am confused again

[Pix]

I think I'm a little standoffish about someone who is bi. I would prefer to date someone who is gay and knows what he wants. I think maybe its just to do with confidence.

I used to think I was bi, but then I realized I have a PREFERENCE for men. If I enjoy sex with women, but at the same time I enjoy sex with men more, then I think this should be what I stick with. And then I did. I also lost almost all my attraction for women as well after some time. I think a lot of people who are bisexual do so because of societal pressures to not be fully "gay".

A friend of mine made a good point, although some people may find this ignorant. He believes that no one is truly bisexual, and that you would definitely have a preference. Once I heard this, it hit me like a brick, and I KNEW that I had a preference. I wasn't bi, I was actually gay and being bi was just my defence mechanism for being gay. I realized I had considered myself bi because I figured I could still be with a woman someday, get married and have kids and satisfy my parents, etc. Just give it some time and figure out what you actually enjoy. What do you think of something like this?

A theory that strikes me as much more likely is that we're all bisexual (like plenty of simian species in the wild), but societal pressure by both straight & gay society make those without confidence to choose one or the other...very much like you did.

It would also explain a lot more, like why sexuality can drift (no, it's not confusion, other than confusion over why wants something, which includes a boy confused over why he likes boys and not girls) as well as why many gays & hets have one night stands and even flings with someone of the gender they're not used to, or even why a straight woman suddenly falls heads over heels for a woman and a lesbian for a man (both of which I've known to happen).

ETA: I don't mean to endorse this theory, only that it strikes me as more likely to be true.

[RayUSA]

Homoflexibility means you want to try the gay side of you but the person is asking if you lean more towards the straight side. In other words he's trying to find out if you're totally gay or do you lean more towards women than men. He's trying to find out whether you're serious or not about your sexuality.

[jdawg903]

A theory that strikes me as much more likely is that we're all bisexual (like plenty of simian species in the wild), but societal pressure by both straight & gay society make those without confidence to choose one or the other...very much like you did.

It would also explain a lot more, like why sexuality can drift (no, it's not confusion, other than confusion over why wants something, which includes a boy confused over why he likes boys and not girls) as well as why many gays & hets have one night stands and even flings with someone of the gender they're not used to, or even why a straight woman suddenly falls heads over heels for a woman and a lesbian for a man (both of which I've known to happen).

ETA: I don't mean to endorse this theory, only that it strikes me as more likely to be true.

I don't think our theories necessarily conflict as much as you may think. Underlying it all is definitely your theory of all individuals ranging on a scale from heterosexual to homosexual and we all fall somewhere in between, some further left or right than others. But I highly doubt that everyone has a predisposition for sexuality that is completely objective.

Some people do truly have a preference, and while it may be true that some people drift in their sexual behaviours you will find that most people generally have an attraction for a single sex. I assume this to be the deciding factor that I am a gay man, although I have had attractions for women in the past, my attractions for men have always been stronger.

I never made a choice in my sexuality, as I am sure nobody can really do, I was only able to become more comfortable with it and accept it for what it is.

[minglong]

you will find the right person ,you will
god bless you