Come out a second time?

[SolemnBoy]

Uhm, hello! So basically this is a fine example of teenage insecurity, so I apologize if it annoys anyone. Basically I'm out to everyone except family. However, I came out as bisexual to be accepted more easily but in reality I'm almost certainly gay. It's been very confusing for me, but by calling myself bi I managed to avoid unnecessary attention even if girls sometimes ask me to become their "gay shopping pal" which bothers me a bit.

I really don't want to come out again as gay because

1. I'm incredibly shy and once was was really scary...
2. It might take away credibility. People might think I'm one of those guys who change sexuality every now and then for attention.
3. I'm not sure if I should even care about labeling myself.

At the same time though I feel like I'm kind of lying to everyone even though my sexuality, of course, is none of their business. I know this thread is incredibly stupid, but what do you think? I guess I'm just tired and confused right now

[pellaz]

... I'm not sure if I should even care about labeling myself ...

i really like your thinking in not wanting to put a label on yourself. just date people you like.

hag girls are great friends for a bi/gay man. enjoy their company

[SolemnBoy]

Too sleepy to differentiate between seriousness and sarcasm but hag girls are NOT great friends. I don't want them to project their stereotypes on me

Thanks for the answer though! Maybe it's as easy as "don't label yourself!". The only reason I came out was to prepare people for the future in which I get a relationship with a person of the same sex. I really don't like getting too much attention so I wanted to make sure that wouldn't happen.

[Undreamt]

incredibly common, personally i wouldn't worry about it.
I my experience bi people often have a harder time because a lot of people either assume that they are gay or think they are just so horny they will hook up with anyone. - unfair on legitimatly bi people i know.

You have come out. You don't need to say anymore, if people think your bi or gay what does it matter?
As long as you are with who you want to be with then what does other people thoughts matter?

[SolemnBoy]

incredibly common, personally i wouldn't worry about it.
I my experience bi people often have a harder time because a lot of people either assume that they are gay or think they are just so horny they will hook up with anyone. - unfair on legitimatly bi people i know.

You have come out. You don't need to say anymore, if people think your bi or gay what does it matter?
As long as you are with who you want to be with then what does other people thoughts matter?

Another thing, it must be really annoying for legitimately bisexual people to have their orientation deprived of its credibility...

Oh well, I honestly don't really know why I had to ask the question. I guess I'll just think it through until I reach a conclusion. Thanks!

[Kiid]

Just don't worry about what people say. When I came out I was told I was only saying I'm gay cos I was desperate to get girls. It was an interesting experience.

[SolemnBoy]

Just don't worry about what people say. When I came out I was told I was only saying I'm gay cos I was desperate to get girls. It was an interesting experience.

Sounds like the kind of twisted logic only schoolkids can pull off

[ThatRobGuy]

I don't see the need to come out as gay if you've already come out as bi, unless you personally feel the need to do it.

By saying you're bi, people should already expect there's just as much of a chance that you'll end up with someone of the same sex as someone of the opposite sex. When you end up with a guy, it shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone or be something that needs explanation.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

To be mean and blunt, I fear you are horribly, acutely human.

Sorry, your 'condition' is that which many LGBT go through which makes them acutely, and horrifically merely human.

Many actually go through the 'I'm bi' phase as they want to cushion the whole adjustment from 'I'm straight' to 'I'm gay' - for others, for themselves - whatever.


(Un)Fortunately for you you are young enough to where you can say you are a anything and folk will shrug it off as 'just a phase'. So the whole step by step transformation is acceptable and believable for most who witness it.

Sadly, a confession of being bi puts you in a hard spot. Many on either side of bi (straight and gay) actually think bi is worst than being gay. Thus you have limited yourself with the gay community when it comes to potential dates/partners as many a gay men will not touch a bi or straight man with a ten foot pole. To many implied risks are involved.

I'm not saying that you should take out a full page ad here, but when it does come up with people you know, just 'correct' the bi/gay 'typo'. It doesn't have to be a lengthy explanation just as simple 'Actually, I'm gay.'

By the time you are 20 the idea will have caught on and most people will think you have always been gay.

[Marc]

I think you should forget all about it
If somebody brings up your sexuality in conversation, then perhaps tell them, but honestly, I wouldn't waste time worrying about it, just live your life your way, and be happy.