Advice on reading into the way a guy acts?
12-23-2012, 04:28 AM
Hey, so I've posted on here before, but basically I'm a gay guy in high school, and in the last couple months I've become very closely involved in my area's local teen music scene. Having gotten to know the people there, there's one guy who I've developed a really big crush on, and I wanted to kinda throw out there some of the interactions we've had out there and see if anyone else has been in a similar situation and has advice.
My band and his band have kinda become "sister bands" in a sense in that we often times set up shows for each other and hang out a fair amount outside of simply going to concerts. Unfortunately, he's not around outside of shows as much as the others are, so I don't know him on as strongly of a personal level as some of the other folks in his band. I texted my friend a couple months ago asking about him, and she said she had a sneaking suspicion he was at least bi-curious, but that one of his other friends thought he was straight when she questioned them about it. They don't know I'm gay yet, but that's mainly because it hasn't really come up in conversation, not because I try to hide it because I'm pretty open about that stuff.
Anyways, there seems like there's always this odd tension between us where I can never work up the nerve to directly address him in conversation and (it at least strongly seems) he reciprocates a similar kind of awkward barrier. We'll both be hanging out in the same group and talking and making jokes and what not, but it seems like for whatever reason there's this nervous tension stopping either of us from really directly speaking to one another.
Every time we end up hanging out in the same crowd of people there's this very odd repeated eye contact that keeps on happening, such as one time when one of our mutual friends made a joke and both of us laughed and then looked up and met each others eyes, at which point he smiled and sort've walked away. There've been a large number of other instances where I'll think I notice him looking at me in my peripheral vision, and when I turn to look at him he quickly moves his head away as if he wasn't, or where he'll be standing further up in the crowd at a show and he'll repeatedly look back, not enough to make direct eye contact with me but to the point where I'm clearly in his peripheral vision.
All in all I've gotten some odd vibes from him for sure, and I wasn't really sure what to make of it. To make matters more confusing, I've had a number of oddly specific dreams involving upcoming events that I know we're both going to, and the proceedings in the dreams tend to strangely accurately reflect what happens in real life. For instance, I dreamt once that at this one show in which we all had planned on hanging out before hand (this was before I knew him on a personal level) he would be oddly much more outgoing and loud/sociable than I had imagined but in a very like-able way, and that I wouldn't find the opportunity to tell him how I felt even though I was planning on it (all of which came true). Other smaller ones have happened, such as having dreams in which he showed up unexpectedly at gatherings he wasn't a part of, which came true, etc., and more recently I had a very vivid dream in which he confessed to everyone via a journal that he had strong feelings for someone and that that person was a guy. Any who, that's just on odd side tangent, which I imagine is probably something more suited for other places than here, but thought I'd just toss that in there, haha
Anyone have any experience in similar situations and want to chip in?
My band and his band have kinda become "sister bands" in a sense in that we often times set up shows for each other and hang out a fair amount outside of simply going to concerts. Unfortunately, he's not around outside of shows as much as the others are, so I don't know him on as strongly of a personal level as some of the other folks in his band. I texted my friend a couple months ago asking about him, and she said she had a sneaking suspicion he was at least bi-curious, but that one of his other friends thought he was straight when she questioned them about it. They don't know I'm gay yet, but that's mainly because it hasn't really come up in conversation, not because I try to hide it because I'm pretty open about that stuff.
Anyways, there seems like there's always this odd tension between us where I can never work up the nerve to directly address him in conversation and (it at least strongly seems) he reciprocates a similar kind of awkward barrier. We'll both be hanging out in the same group and talking and making jokes and what not, but it seems like for whatever reason there's this nervous tension stopping either of us from really directly speaking to one another.
Every time we end up hanging out in the same crowd of people there's this very odd repeated eye contact that keeps on happening, such as one time when one of our mutual friends made a joke and both of us laughed and then looked up and met each others eyes, at which point he smiled and sort've walked away. There've been a large number of other instances where I'll think I notice him looking at me in my peripheral vision, and when I turn to look at him he quickly moves his head away as if he wasn't, or where he'll be standing further up in the crowd at a show and he'll repeatedly look back, not enough to make direct eye contact with me but to the point where I'm clearly in his peripheral vision.
All in all I've gotten some odd vibes from him for sure, and I wasn't really sure what to make of it. To make matters more confusing, I've had a number of oddly specific dreams involving upcoming events that I know we're both going to, and the proceedings in the dreams tend to strangely accurately reflect what happens in real life. For instance, I dreamt once that at this one show in which we all had planned on hanging out before hand (this was before I knew him on a personal level) he would be oddly much more outgoing and loud/sociable than I had imagined but in a very like-able way, and that I wouldn't find the opportunity to tell him how I felt even though I was planning on it (all of which came true). Other smaller ones have happened, such as having dreams in which he showed up unexpectedly at gatherings he wasn't a part of, which came true, etc., and more recently I had a very vivid dream in which he confessed to everyone via a journal that he had strong feelings for someone and that that person was a guy. Any who, that's just on odd side tangent, which I imagine is probably something more suited for other places than here, but thought I'd just toss that in there, haha
Anyone have any experience in similar situations and want to chip in?
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