Give Bad Advice

[mbennet35]

Get a staple gun and staple it so you never lose it again....

I should sleep but don't feel like it.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Lets see, didn't you say you had the lactose intolerance? If so, then drink a big, steamy glass of warm milk.

If not - hit yourself with a hammer in the head until darkness descends.





I never know how to introduce myself to others.

[southbiochem]

Go to a school and shoot away...once you are in the news, there'll be no need for introductions

I scared to become addicted if I start taking anti-depressives

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Take meth instead it is far less addictive...


I broke a nail today... no not a finger nail, a steel nail - you know hammer and nail type nail - God I'm not THAT gay.....

[Beau]

Go ahead and break a finger nail as well. (There's nothing wrong with being that kind of guy.)

I am hungry but too lazy to get up and get lunch out of the kitchen. What should I do?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Marry a woman and tell her to go fix you a sammich.

Someone or something is stealing koi out of my pond at night...

[mbennet35]

Hide in a tree or in bushes untill you see who or what is stealing them then take out a machette and cut off their arms.

I just got done eating tacos

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Quick, put a finger down your throat so you can enjoy them as they come back up!

This guy keeps on emailing me sending me pornographic movies (homemade stuff starring himself) and pictures (starring himself). I have asked him to stop but still insists on sending more.

What should I do with all of this pretty bad porn I'm collecting?

[southbiochem]

Start you're own crappy homemade porn website! I'm sure a lot of deranged bastards out there will pay for that...and then enjoy when the guy sues your ass for copyright! :biggrin:

Seriously, Bowyn, who does that?...You deserve at least GOOD porn from a hot dude being sent to you!


I'll eventually need to tell my folks I'm gay

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Do it at Christmas dinner - I strongly suggest donning short shorts and a pink (very tight) t-shirt to be dressed up for the occasional. This way you can tell your whole family at once and not have to agonize over telling each one separately.

My Mimosa tree has started dropping its leaves....