This is one of those things that I just really don't understand. I know that sometimes things just don't work out for one reason or another. But the response I get from the last few people I have dated or tried to date just breaks my heart every time I hear it. I'm very selfless in my actions, not doting on my significant other, but at the core of my personality and my being I am a giver. I love to make others happy, and most of all am just very caring and attentive. That being said, here is what happened this time. . . I met a guy online, he messaged me saying he loved my profile and based on what I had written, we should talk. I'm very open about how I feel about hooking up or taking it slow etc. He wanted to take things slow as far as sex was concerned. Which thrilled me because I was wanting to do the same thing. We both wanted a committed monogamous relationship. Things were great, went out several times during the week, spent most of the night talking, holding hands, watching movies. Me playing with his hair, kissing when it felt right. It seemed perfect. Then out of the blue today during a "how is your day" conversation, BAM. I see this in a text message. That he loves spending time with me and I am very sweet and romantic. (here it comes) BUT. . . He wants to just be friends that way if he dates someone else I won't get mad or upset with him. Take it slow, and its ok if I date other guys just like he is doing. Oh and don't act funny or weird around him because he would hate to know he broke my heart. So obviously I let him know he did break my heart. I mean wow, I have heard the "we would be better friends" or " i just want to be friends" or like he said later after this conversaton " I want to be friends because I'm not ready for a relationship right now" OK then why place and ad, why say all the things I wanted to hear, why react to everything I do in a romantic way? What do I do? I get this "just be friends" thing all the time. What should I do, of course my friends are livid about it because I really really saw potential in our relationship. And whats weirder is that 5 of his close friends said how perfect we were together and how much he raved about me being the kindest and most considerate man he'd ever met. And he really needs someone like that.
Sorry for the lengthy post. I just don't know what to do, and crying isn't helping !
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I'm sorry about that, but rest assured, there are loads and loads of singles waiting for a "giver" like you to come around because, let's face it, that's probably the nicest kind of personality in a partner.
As for this guy, since he seems more interested in dating other people, maybe you should let him go even if it's hard. Either that or try to talk it over with him so you can at least know if he's interested in a relationship at all only not at the moment, or if he never wants to be anything but friends. If he just wants more time (and has a good explanation for the "dating other people" thing) maybe it would be possible to just wait it out.
In any case, good luck 
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Hang in there Labguy. Some day you will find the perfect guy. If only you lived closer to me... sigh
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Yup. It really sucks. Unfortunately, even though you say to take it slow with regards to sex, you still end up spending too much time together too quickly and too intimately. And believe me this is not a criticism. Many of us, including me, do it. Sex may be slow and not happen for a while but Emotions affection and time together just run away with you and before you know it you are in deeper than perhaps it should be so soon. We date people we find cute, attractive, funny, interesting, intelligent, conversational but sometimes something else isnt there that should be and it leads to heartbreak. Im sorry it hurts so much fella *hugs*. Alternatively we find someone who is right....and it scares us and we dont let ourselves have it because its a little too close to home.
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Sorry to hear of your troubles.
I'd guess that would depend on whether you're nice out of genuine kindness & self-confidence or whether you're nice out of insecurity, desperation to be liked which can be clinging & smothering, and the worst ones manipulate someone in sticking around (and often think their being nice and a "giver" entitles them to certain things that were never agreed upon) and/or being very passive aggressive (typically because their hidden price tags aren't being paid). I've seen plenty of both and many of the former have little trouble with romantic partners while the latter are constantly rejected or pushed away.
If you're the former rather than the latter then perhaps you're drawn to or attract someone not interested in you (typically either because one is looking in the wrong place or because one is subconsciously looking for someone to be like one's toxic parent), and if you're with the wrong type of people then they could believe they're "playing along" with some game or hypocrisy and are surprised when you genuinely want to take it slow and/or feel rejected over it (even when they understand it's supposed to go slow). A few people do that and it's unfortunate.
In any case, it's not kindness & sincerity that drive people away because too many good people have no problem finding and staying in satisfying relationships. If you're genuinely kind I believe it's only a matter of time before you find someone who can appreciate what you have to offer, and that person is likely to be kind as well. Good luck.
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You just haven't met the right guy yet; you're on the right track and have your priorities in the correct order. Don't let it get you down, that person is out there, it just takes time to find them and connect....
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relationships are a lot of work, at least for me. It involves commitment on a long term basis doing the trust communication and respect thing 24-7-2013+. It includes sharing everything you got; your dreams and fate, your body and yes your money
maybe he just got out of a bad relationship in which he was the bad?
maybe he is going to move soon
maybe cheating on his wife/husband
you dont know a thing about this person and yet you want to drive his car.
the one positive thing here is he seems to be honest, maybe well grounded. I think you are very lucky to have found a good friend possibly friend+. I think he is well grounded in telling you lets just keep it simple and see where it goes. He feels for you and dosnt want to hurt you either.
jsut a positive side that could be.
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Don't let the ones that don't mesh well with you get you down, the right one is out there - might take a few fails before you get to that one, but it will happen.
I know it's easy to assume it's you, but really it isn't, you know who you are, what you need and want in a man, just wait for it, and keep trying.
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To answer your question, no you are not too nice to be in a relationship. In fact, you sound like someone who others should be like. You take things slow, seem to respect your friends and potentials, and seem to have a good head on your shoulders. I would say that is unfortunate that your love interest didn't realize this. There may have been a lot of possibilities for this but I don't rack your brain. he may have felt something and realized that you weren't what he was looking for or scared, afraid to hurt you, etc. I would be a little patient just to see what happens. He may see someone else and realize what he had in you. I wouldn't wait for long, but this could happen.
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Sorry to hear, that kind of stuff can really discourage you and cause you to question yourself. Which, I hope you won't let it do. I would say that this experience will teach you to value yourself enough to not give yourself so quickly to someone. You don't have to live in fear but just be cautious.
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Am I too nice to be in a relationship?
