Bias against bisexuals in gay community?

[d1017]

I'm a 32 year old woman in NY. I came out to my friends and family as bisexual during this past "coming out day" and most were very supportive. In regards to my attraction to men/women, I would say 25% men/75% women. I've been on the online dating website POF.com and have noticed some bias against dating bisexuals. Some women who identify as lesbian even wrote "no bisexuals or couples" in their profile, one as their subject line. This is very discouraging and upsetting. I'm hoping to meet a women who I connect with for a long term relationship.

Would you date someone bisexual?
Any advice on how to cope and deal with these stereotypes?

[SolemnBoy]

I have no idea why people would be biased against bisexuals. If it's because the chances of their partner developing a romantic interest in someone else it's a pretty stupid reason. No, scratch that, it's an incredibly stupid reason.

I'd date a bisexual person. I used to even think I was one myself.

[Counselor]

My advice is prove them wrong. Be an example.

[Geminize]

Welcome to GS!

As a bi male I can tell you that there is definitely a bias against bisexuals amongst many in the gay community. The stereotype seems to be that bisexuals are less trustworthy and more likely to leave a partner of one gender for the other. I do think that some people identify as bi when they are more accurately just 'curious'. Some of these people my try same-sex dating, then decide to retreat to the safety of their straight identity or simply realize it's not for them.

The only advice I can give is to be honest. I have explained to people that I don't really identify with the labels "gay, bi, or straight". I am simply "sexual", attracted to men and women. It doesn't mean that I'm checking out everyone I see, just that I can be attracted to a person without regard to their gender.

Here is a recent thread that touched deeply on this issue: http://www.gayspeak.com/showthread.php?t=23513

So yes, I would date a bisexual. I hope you find that special woman!

[Counselor]

Oh dear. Gem, is that the one hank started and became almost instantly littered with generalizations?

[Pix]

I'm happily partnered with a bi-woman.

[Pix]

Any advice on how to cope and deal with these stereotypes?

One possibility is to fudge, saying you're more homoflexible, which means you prefer women but have moments with men. Some feel less threatened by this (especially those who have been tricked by flesbians, or fake lesbians/bi, to be used as toys for a straight man's voyeuristic pleasure and then cruelly discarded). Or you could just emphasize how much you'd like to explore a relationship with a woman and say you reject labels. While neither is absolutely honest, it seems close enough to not be a foul.

OTOH, maybe if that's their attitude then maybe it's better if you don't waste time with them anyway. Not ALL lesbians look down on bisexuals.

[Geminize]

Oh dear. Gem, is that the one hank started and became almost instantly littered with generalizations?

I'm afraid so. I hesitated to stir that up, but there are some good nuggets in that thread if you can stand to read through it. *sigh*

[Kiid]

I hate all bisexuals because they are greedy u.u
Jokes. I don't care about sexuality. But yes I have and would again date a bisexual.
Oh and ignorance is bliss. Give no fucks about thos who don't even matter!

[Lilitu]

lol I immediately thought of this




I think it's a mixture of not being able to understand bisexuality and wanting to stick to our own 'team' as it were.