Bias against bisexuals in gay community?

[MisterTinkles]

I'm a 32 year old woman in NY. I came out to my friends and family as bisexual during this past "coming out day" and most were very supportive. In regards to my attraction to men/women, I would say 25% men/75% women. I've been on the online dating website POF.com and have noticed some bias against dating bisexuals. Some women who identify as lesbian even wrote "no bisexuals or couples" in their profile, one as their subject line. This is very discouraging and upsetting. I'm hoping to meet a women who I connect with for a long term relationship.

Would you date someone bisexual?
Any advice on how to cope and deal with these stereotypes?

Believe it or not there are two rational theories behind this "prejudice".

1. If you were to go into a commited relationship with someone of the same sex, and the government decided to make it totally illegal, or your job "requires" you to be married to someone of the opposite sex, then there is the fear you would not fight for what is right and just, you would cower in fear and do what you are told to do. In general, your "on the fence lifestyle" would be a hazzard to anyone who isnt like you.

2. A lot of people beleive there is no such thing as "bisexual", its just a cop out/excuse to be who you really are and cover it up with someone you really arent. And the belief is that these people cant be trusted.....A. because they are "wishy washy" in thier decision for thier lifestyle, and B. they cant make up their minds about anything important.


Most people see "bisexual" as something that isnt really there....its only something made up to cover up. This is a threat to them and the stable life they may be looking for. Someone who cant decide who and/or what they are, are not trustworthy, simply because "they cant 'pick one' and be that", as I was once told by someone who was asked about this.

By this way of thinking, who would want to waste time getting serious with a bisexual, with the looming threat that they could "go to the other side" at any time?

Makes no sense really. I mean, if youre gonna cheat, youre gonna cheat....doesnt matter if its with man or woman or both.

[d1017]

Thank you everyone for replying to my post! Very much appreciated.

[Talby]

I've always wondered why gay people will ask each-other whether they're gay, or bi.


Wow. This topic is mildly disappointing. I know we're all human, but it always makes me a little sad to see gay people being prejudiced. When will people learn?

[bluefox4000]

I've always wondered why gay people will ask each-other whether they're gay, or bi.


Wow. This topic is mildly disappointing. I know we're all human, but it always makes me a little sad to see gay people being prejudiced. When will people learn?

Sad fact is NO ONE is immune to prejudice. I mean no one is immune to BEING prejudice.. And when asked if I'm gay straight or bi......I always say, I'm Mick

[stu]

I always find it odd when middle aged mem who have children anounce they are gay.

[pellaz]

I always find it odd when middle aged men who have children announce they are gay.

People come out (to them selves) in their own way. there is a lot more awareness and acceptance now but why dont we know at the age of 5 or the age of 12 or the age of 19years old? How is it parents; after living with the child for tens of years have to be told their child is gay.

The symbol was a rainbow. Sexuality and gender can and will vary all over the map in a continual way. Like we have tall people with red hair and people bald with green eyes. I hope the community can grow beyond the 1940's Kinsey Reports.

[stpdo2]

I always find it odd when middle aged mem who have children anounce they are gay.

And I find it upsetting when people who are gay are not supportive and accepting of those who finally have the courage to accept who they are regardless of their age and or parental status.

[jimbopdxus]

I have been told on more than occasion. "Thanks, it was fun but I am going back to my wife and kids. Bye bye." That hurt every time. So I get the notion that bisexuals are just in it for the sex and nothing more. I know, bad me. But like the proverbial junk-yard dog, you get kicked enough times, you develope a attitude, Sorry.
So if you are not willing to commet to a solid realtionship with a single person, you will be the person saying "Thanks, it was fun." and don't get upset when you hear the response you do not want to.
BTW: You do not sound like that sort of person, so good fortune go with you.
Remember, the people who lash out have probably been tied to the emotional rack and pulled apart.

[SolemnBoy]

Okay, this might just be because I'm currently undecided as to my sexuality (although listed as gay because my attraction to men is dominant), but it really infuriates me to see prejudice aimed at bisexuals from gay people.

1. I acknowledge that some bisexuals are just afraid of coming out as gay, and that some of them are just confused. That doesn't apply to all of them, anyone whose grasp of logic isn't seriously demented should understand that.

2. If someone would be uninterested in me merely because I'm not 100% gay and might leave him for a woman, then I'd gladly move on knowing that a person so possessive and filled with assumptions isn't worth anyone's time anyways. If you wouldn't get romantically inclined with someone just because his potential partners are many compared to those of a gay man, you have some severe trusting issues to work with.

Ugh, sorry for coming off as so hostile I just really don't like the way some gay people treat bisexuals like cheating time-bombs of promiscuity...

[bluefox4000]

I know I posted a lot but this is reminding me of my First and only pride parade. I went to sort of check it out.....and you know where this is going, lol. Yes I was treated rather coldly for being bi.......and the whole thing soured me on pride parades and the gay community in general Cause at that moment I felt the gay community had nothing to be proud of. Granted I've since realized that this was just a faction. but I've never attended a pride parade since.

Mick