Gay dating question

[Tombo]

Where do you find gays that aren't alcoholics or have drug problems?

Serious question.



In other words, where can I find gays that don't drink LOADS and don't do drugs cos ain't nobody got time for a druggy in their life!

[SolemnBoy]

Wait what? Are you implying most gay people are alcoholics or drug users? o.O

[Pix]

If I were looking for that I'd look to where people were too busy to be drinking & drugging a lot, like say volunteering with an organization that helps gays. (Obviously, bars should be avoided.)

And just out of curiosity, how well does it work in gay dating (or any dating at all) to say in a personal (online or paper) that you're not interested in that? That is does it work or do a lot of people show up claiming to be drug free who are not?

Given how many (based on the handful of times I looked at personals) outright demand that qualification and how many promote that about themselves as a selling point in personals I know it can't that much of a way to hamper meeting someone.

[pellaz]

ask the question up front
on the 1st date
be ready to either toss them to the curb or give them that first date bj

realistically every one has some bad in their life.

[Corsac]

If you focus too much on those 2 things you may only notice the guys that do drink a lot or do drugs, you can find good guys through practically every method of getting dates. Yes there are a lot of bad guys out there but then there are an equally amount of decent guys too, they're just harder to find.

[pellaz]

If you focus too much on those 2 things you may only notice the guys that do drink a lot or do drugs, you can find good guys through practically every method of getting dates. ...

There is nothing you can do to change the truly addicted. be extremely careful who you have that big gay relationship with as you will not be able to mold the person to your standards. There is some thinking here that unless they want to change, usually after they hit a bottom, they absolutely will not change.

avoid the currently users
avoid the ones gone through rehab
avoid the ones whose parents were big users

sorry / sad, you cant love all of gods creations.

[Corsac]

Its not wrong that Tombo wants to find someone that doesn't excessively drink or do drugs, that's a preference of his and one of many others too, I certainly don't want to end up with a heavy drinker or drug user either. We all know that someone has to change things for themselves.

As for not loving all of "God's creations", its irrelevant to this topic. Please leave it for one that's more inclined for a talk based on religious thinking.

[Geminize]

Believe it or not, Tombo, you can find good guys almost everywhere. I enjoy bars (warm, clean, cheery ones) and I'm not an alcoholic. I have friends who use drugs recreationally who I would not call "druggies", and when they offer me some I just decline. Dances can be great too (warm, clean, cheery ones). Meeting friends of friends who already know you and your values is even better.

It's been years since I've been to London, but a city that size has all sorts of choices for socializing. Pick the things you like, meet guys there, some will be gay!

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Take a step back Tombo. Perhaps your looking in the wrong places?

ObW
x

[MisterTinkles]

Ive never had that problem.

My problems have been, WHERE do I find a decent man who IS NOT into:

Gross and disgusting sex acts.
Stealing.
Lieing.
Cheating.
Playing headgames.
Mommas boys.

With the exception of two guys Ive ever met in my life, all the other ones have been one, or all, of the above.