Got invited to Queer club at Uni

[Crouton]

Hey guys,

I recently hung out with another gay girl from my Uni for the day and a few days ago she invited me to the Universities Queer Club who are having a party this Friday. I'm really nervous about it. I've never gone to that queer club or any queer club before and I generally hate parties and try to avoid them. I get really anxious when it comes to parties and meeting lots of new people at once. Not to mention that it's the queer department and I'm not out to everyone yet, namely my family.

One thing I hate most about parties/gatherings etc and that makes me really nervous is arriving alone. I've never been there and won't know anyone there except the girl who invited me. I've been thinking of messaging her on FB and asking if she wants to meet at the train station first and walk over together, but I'm really worried about her rejecting that idea. If I ask her that and she says she can't go with me then I most likely won't turn up. Then she'll know the reason I didn't go is because I'm too much of a wimp to go places by myself.

I'm really nervous about going... especially by myself but at the same time I'm sick of being alone all the time and I need to meet new people. I still can't decide whether I will actually go or not... and whether I should ask her if she could go with me.

[Beau]

I guess the big question is how you will feel if you don't go. I think it would be better to go and not have a good time than to never go and always be left wondering.

Just my opinion of course.

[dodgemcat]

I'm exactly the same and have been in that situation many times... Usually get a friend to meet me out the front of a venue if I'm going to a gig or anything like that.
I'd probably send her a message asking if she wants to meet up and go in together because you're a bit nervous about it all. People are usually pretty understanding and accommodating if you let them know what's going on.

[Crouton]

It's true that if I don't go I will regret it. I've been considering whether I will message her or not for days now about meeting. I'm just worried that if I do she will be like "oh sorry I'm already going with other people" or something which will just make me feel like shit and not want to go even more.

[Remlek]

I think you should try it. I wasn't out to my family during my first two years at University, but I always felt safe about going to such activities. Main reason: there's probably a whole lot other people there in the same situation. Plus they don't know you, so who are they gonna out you to?

Also, you shouldn't worry about asking your friend to meet before going. I'd say it is pretty normal to ask to meet before arriving, specially since she invited you to go. She's probably sort of interested in you going anyway, so I don't think she'll let you on your own. Maybe she wants you to meet some of her friends there too, so yeah...

All in all this is a nice opportunity for pulling yourself together and doing something different, so you can meet more people. Social gatherings can be annoying, but you want to meet more people so get to it. You should act now, worry later. :P

[Watermark]

Give it a go. If you dont like it you can always just leave

[ManicReptile21]

Hey guys,

I recently hung out with another gay girl from my Uni for the day and a few days ago she invited me to the Universities Queer Club who are having a party this Friday. I'm really nervous about it. I've never gone to that queer club or any queer club before and I generally hate parties and try to avoid them. I get really anxious when it comes to parties and meeting lots of new people at once. Not to mention that it's the queer department and I'm not out to everyone yet, namely my family.

One thing I hate most about parties/gatherings etc and that makes me really nervous is arriving alone. I've never been there and won't know anyone there except the girl who invited me. I've been thinking of messaging her on FB and asking if she wants to meet at the train station first and walk over together, but I'm really worried about her rejecting that idea. If I ask her that and she says she can't go with me then I most likely won't turn up. Then she'll know the reason I didn't go is because I'm too much of a wimp to go places by myself.

I'm really nervous about going... especially by myself but at the same time I'm sick of being alone all the time and I need to meet new people. I still can't decide whether I will actually go or not... and whether I should ask her if she could go with me.

I think you should take this wonderful opportunity!!!! Who knows, maybe they'll all be hipsters with massive glasses shuffling on the dance floor. LOL. In any case I really think you should try to make a friend there! Don't get all drunk and wild and keep your eyes peeled for someone who shares your interests!

[HomeagainNYC]

You should definably go - I think you should text the person who asked you to the party and suggest you meet up somewhere and go together; if you think she might be going with friends, ask if you can tag along. I bet she will be more than willing to accommodate.

[stu]

Ask her to meet you as you suggest, and tell her why. If she's a decent person she won't have any problem with it.

[Counselor]

There is nothing wrong with asking her if she will accompany you to your first-ever Queer Party. She might even tell people she was planning on going with that she'll meet them there, that she wants to make sure you are comfortable before dragging you in.