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[Counselor]

Will they allow you internet access on the inside?

[Rainbowmum]

I am so very happy you are still with us, I love you my friend.mile:


You scared me half to death when you said you felt like going back .
Perhaps deprogramming is what is needed here more than therapy.
I say that because ,children that have been brought up in a cult are programed to return at a later time usually as adults.

David evil does leave a stain or a scent , other evil creatures can pick up on it.
It is strongest when you are low in faith and vulnerable.
I believe Blue was evil ,after all what better trophy than the soul of a holy man?

If I were there right now I would cleanse you with sage, I would cleanse the whole house with it .
You need to reconnect with nature , with your strengths and your faith not necessarily religion but the faith of over coming, the faith of being worthy.

Sending you healing and protective light.
I have two shoulders ,one to lean on the other to cry on , I offer them both to you.

[ManicReptile21]

I am so very happy you are still with us, I love you my friend.mile:


You scared me half to death when you said you felt like going back .
Perhaps deprogramming is what is needed here more than therapy.
I say that because ,children that have been brought up in a cult are programed to return at a later time usually as adults.

David evil does leave a stain or a scent , other evil creatures can pick up on it.
It is strongest when you are low in faith and vulnerable.
I believe Blue was evil ,after all what better trophy than the soul of a holy man?

If I were there right now I would cleanse you with sage, I would cleanse the whole house with it .
You need to reconnect with nature , with your strengths and your faith not necessarily religion but the faith of over coming, the faith of being worthy.

Sending you healing and protective light.
I have two shoulders ,one to lean on the other to cry on , I offer them both to you.

Your magic frightens me sometimes. but i still find comfort in these words. i hope bowyn will find the same.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Will they allow you internet access on the inside?

I don't know. The last time I was a guest at a hospital like that the internet was dial-up and few people had access.

I will go out on a limb and say 'no' as the first days one is in they try to keep the outside world from mucking up a person in the head.

Least ways the first three days I had my 'vacation' no one was allowed to visit and I wasn't allowed phone calls.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I am so very happy you are still with us, I love you my friend.mile:


You scared me half to death when you said you felt like going back .
Perhaps deprogramming is what is needed here more than therapy.
I say that because ,children that have been brought up in a cult are programed to return at a later time usually as adults.

David evil does leave a stain or a scent , other evil creatures can pick up on it.
It is strongest when you are low in faith and vulnerable.
I believe Blue was evil ,after all what better trophy than the soul of a holy man?

If I were there right now I would cleanse you with sage, I would cleanse the whole house with it .
You need to reconnect with nature , with your strengths and your faith not necessarily religion but the faith of over coming, the faith of being worthy.

Sending you healing and protective light.
I have two shoulders ,one to lean on the other to cry on , I offer them both to you.

Programming/Deprogramming. I think I worked on that after I committed suicide in 1994. Now I'm not so certain.

Part of the game played left me believing for a while, oh Saturday and Sunday, that Blue was at risk. one of the messages I got was that my mother and her husband were involved and I assumed that mother wanted something back from me. I was willing to make an 'exchange' as it were.

So I don't know if its programming, or just a real desire to keep him safe.

Holy man? Nah, I'm a dirty sinner who carries a lot of taint.

Magic isn't real. Magic isn't real - I tell myself that a lot. I'm trying to convince myself - but at the same time I rely on protections and the like always working double time to keep my defenses up on the 'magic' side of things.

It is a problem I struggle with, trying to maintain some "crafty" protections while at the same time trying to deny it all exists. I fear it and need it at the same time.

[Rumble88]

I'm so sorry Bowyn, i truly am. I hate people like this. I'm not gonna tell you ''there are some good persons out there, just keep looking'' because obviously we can't trust someone enough to give our heart because look what happens. Its only a toy for them. I am really sorry about this. Just.. keep breathing. For me. Because in the past, you and people like you showed me that my feelings are not just a toy for you. Hang in there. Nobody can promise you happy endings, but i can promise you a future with less pain. I hope you can feel better.

[jimbopdxus]

Good luck Bowyn, my prayers are with you.

[Kat]

Bowyn Aerrow I think some of it so buried so deep that we will never deprogram all of it and yes that day did sound like a call back to me. I think Blue did that to you though because you were keyed in on him like you would have been your mother in the past had the old programming been triggered back then. I think he had you set up to use that bullet if you lost him just like he had me set up to leave my home if I told and, that one went off for me today but I didn't follow through. No that wasn't old programming as much as it was new programming feeding on the old stuff.

We know he triggered us both and knows a lot of our programming and I know he added some of his own to me so I expect he did it to you even more because you loved him and we know that gives anyone more control.

We don't want magic to be real but it was a big part of our most important years growing up so we can't make the world make sense without it and we can't help some of what we do. All we can do is make sure what we can't help doing doesn't hurt anyone including ourselves and that's hard when we are hurting and mad at ourselves.

Don't blame the past or yourself for what he did to you and where that left you and don't let him or them win, not ever because as bad a it is we are still the lucky ones.

[Miles]

Bowyn, you are no more a sinner than the rest of us. You're a human being who has endured more terror than anyone should, mostly at the hands of twisted people.

Blue - Byron - whatever name he called himself - is evil. He is not at risk from any cult - but by god he deserves to be. He not only took advantage of your vulnerable spots but deliberately sought you and Kat out for that very purpose.

I pray to whoever or whatever will listen that you two can find it in you to find some sense of normalcy, safety, peace after all this; that no one else falls prey to Blue's wicked handiwork; and (not holding out much hope for this one) that he succumbs to absolute despair in realizing that his is a wretched existence.

All the best, and may the Dark Side be on your...uh, side. Yeah.

[Nick9]

Blue - Byron - whatever name he called himself - is evil. He is not at risk from any cult - but by god he deserves to be.

Miles, I think nobody deserves such things :frown: