On stage Kiss +First kiss ever = Me scared.

[Hayden]

Hello everyone,

This is sort of an odd situation. I like to act. I do a lot of community theatre. Recently, I've been cast in a play in which I'm supposed to play a somewhat suave romantic interest of the female protagonist. This was quite a shock to me. I've always done character roles, you know, being the clown and the butt of the joke, which is great. I'm quite good at that. However, I've never really had to play a "normal" guy. Very weird, and a bit off topic, so...

The girl playing the lead is very nice. We've worked together before and we get along well. She's also a few years older than me and very beautiful. In the show we have to kiss... a lot, several times (it hasn't happened yet). The director mentioned too that he wants it to be very real and very passionate. The problem for me is that I've never kissed a person... ever.

Now, I've entered into this thing with the mindset that "Hey, we're actors, I'm and adult (sort of) and we just gotta do what we gotta do," meaning: this is very going to very clinical and professional, so let's all be mature about it, yeah?

Though as hard as I try to be mature about it, the truth is that I'm fucking terrified for a number of reasons: 1.) She will judge me and I will expose and embarrass myself as a bad/inexperienced kisser. 2.) The cast will judge me and I will expose and embarrass myself as a bad/inexperienced kisser. 3.) The audience will judge me and I will embarrass and expose myself as a bad/inexperienced kisser.

She's also way out of my league, if you will, so it's a real stretch of disbelief that this girl would be attracted to me so much (I'm not being self-depricatory, I'm being honest). I know she's had a number of boyfriends so of course there is no doubt that there will be only one kiss-virgin in this situation.

During the first rehearsal, the director asked for us to kiss to see how it would look. However, the girl got all squeamish and literally started hopping around (that's the only way I can describe it). I'll admit, it kind of hurt my feelings. I stopped and asked the director if we could post-pone the kiss. She was very grateful. I really don't want to kiss someone who is clearly uncomfortable with the notion.

The kiss is now sort of the elephant in the room (at least to me it is). We skip it every time and delay it. I, however, would like to just do it and get it over with because every day we don't do it just adds to my anxiety. I brought it up to her after rehearsal last night (which I was reticent to do because I don't want to come off as some creepy pervy jerk) and she said sometime we'll rehearse it without the rest of the cast around.

I guess I'm asking if you think I have reason to be as nervous as I am. Do you think it is inevitable that I will embarrass myself? I'm really kind of freaking out.

Thanks everyone for reading this long dribble.
-Hayden

[MisterTinkles]

I would sit down with the director and the woman, privately, and talk about this.

You dont have to tell them you have 'never been kissed' (which is an awesome movie), just tell them you have slight issues with the "germ" thing. Although that could be a real turnoff for the woman. Of course, she may be thinking the same thing, cause thats why she was squeamish. There are other excuses you could use: just got over the flu, still might be contagious. Had recent dental work and mouth is still recovering....all sorts of things.

If your director is any good, there are many ways to get around an actual kiss, and make it look like your really washing each others tongues. LOL

There are many ways to "hide" the actual kiss, so that the audience see's you kissing, but your really not.

I would talk with them about this, thats the best way. Otherwise you stand a big chance of really pissing off the director, and Im sure you dont want that.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Your an actor luvie, ACT

ObW
x

[Hayden]

Thanks for the advice.

I know there's no getting around actually kissing (and besides, the theatre lover/purist in me would cringe to see it done. As terrified as I am I still feel an obligation to the text to do it right). Also I think bringing up the germ things could really upset the other actor, like you mentioned. When I mentioned the kiss to her she did say something like "Yeah, I'll just have to make sure I have a clean mouth," which I took to mean "You better clean you mouth out before I'm made to touch you, you ugly, disgusting piece of shit!"


Of course, I'm just guessing...

[Hayden]

Your an actor luvie, ACT

ObW
x

I know, I know.

That's why it's so hard. I'm trying to tell myself that, but it's hard not to obsess about it, you know?

[MisterTinkles]

Thanks for the advice.

I know there's no getting around actually kissing (and besides, the theatre lover/purist in me would cringe to see it done. As terrified as I am I still feel an obligation to the text to do it right). Also I think bringing up the germ things could really upset the other actor, like you mentioned. When I mentioned the kiss to her she did say something like "Yeah, I'll just have to make sure I have a clean mouth," which I took to mean "You better clean you mouth out before I'm made to touch you, you ugly, disgusting piece of shit!"


Of course, I'm just guessing...

Hmmm, a little OVER acting there? LOL

Just keep some mouthwash handy when you are there. That may be her problem...she had bad breath at the time.

[HomeagainNYC]

Your feeling are perfectly normal given the circumstances you described. It seems these circumstance have made this a bigger issue that it would normally have been. In the end it's only the directory you need to please - if you please the director all the rest will fall into place.

The director is there to help you develop your character; I would go to him/her with you concerns not your fellow actor. That way the director can sorting something out and give you the needed support and guidance in getting past the issue. Ask if you can practice the scene alone, just the 3 of you, until everyone feels comfortable.

I'm sure your going to be great on opening night.

[OrphanPip]

Stage kisses are always awkward, so I wouldn't worry about people thinking you're bad/inexperienced.

[Undreamt]

It could also be that she has her eyes on someone else in the play or thinks her current boyfriend may get jealous.

It might help to assure her that it is just for the play and that you have no sexual feelings for her

[Kat]

You might want to look at some pictures and videos of stage kisses maybe that will show you how the professionals do it on stage and make it look so real.