I'm a little concerned about this:
I'm dealing with my boyfriend about our similar likes, and we don't have so much in common. We fell in love quickly but day after day we learned some new things about us, and it is not bad but it is kind of difficult to deal, specially me 'cause he is too much sympathetic and I love him for that and more.
His attitude with his friends - I don't like
His gay friends - I don't...
His music - No so much, I prefer rock/pop
His TV programs - Not really
His movies - No, no, no...
His mess - Nope
Some clothes he wears - Sometimes I see it too much gay hehe
And more, more, and more...
And I like other things: sports - Volleyball! I'm a huge fan! - concerts rock/pop - stay at home- passion about my national team in futbol volleyball or other sport ... and well, he doesn't.
What do you think? it will be a serious situation with time goes? I love him but I do not know how to deal this.
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I lasted through 14+ years with someone where about the only commonality we had was that we were gay.
He would go do his thing, I would go do mine. It was a quiet relationship...
It wasn't much of a problem to me. I was ok with it.
I don't know if you would be ok with it, obviously not since you are noting all of this now....
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Friendship is the discovery of your differences and similarities.
Love is what you've found in common together.
Life is what you've created with each other.
Like Paula Abdul says, "opposites attract".
He likes what he likes, you like what you like.
If you like each other, then you will both find what you both like, together.
A lot of people have relationships where they have pretty much separate lives, except for when they come home, they are together, with the life they created with each other.
Some people can handle this, some cannot. Some accept it, some do not.
If you are the type to base everything on what you have in common, then I would say you might as well end it now and spare both of you the hurt of starting to live a lie.
If you are the type to find a common way of living for each other, together, then go for it. But be warned, people who are opposites usually have to work a lot harder on a relationship than others do. There has to be LOTS of understanding and leeway. Give him his night with his friends, and he will give you your sports day.
You start trying to change each other, you are both going to have lots of problems.
He can have his friends, you can have yours, then you both can have some together.
Compromise is everything when it comes to opposties., as far as personalities and hobbies go.
Above all else, communication. And LOTS of it.
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Manreg, you need to let your partner be able to express himself how he feels, if you stopped him doing anything because you didn't like it then the relationship would be too one sided and would slowly die anyway. Nobody is perfect but it seems like you're wanting him to be and picking at every little thing about him/his life, you can make huge lists of things you like and don't but at the end of the day you have to either accept him or not. If you care about him then you'll let a lot of this slide and continue happily with the relationship, I can however understand things like attitudes around others being annoying though.
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In straight relationships, the other 95%, the partners are really different. ��Nice if you two can mix match so the two of you add up to more than 2.0
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If I stopped my husband from doing his thing I wouldn't have been married. We just made time to do things the other one liked sometimes so that's pretty normal to me.
He never liked what I wore but I wore it anyway because it's my body and if it's comfortable and I like it I'm supposed to be allowed to wear it even if nobody like it but me.
I hate sports except demolition derbies and rodeos and he hated those but we went to some any way and I ignored him when he had football or boxing on the TV and it's no big deal because love isn't about doing things it's about feeling things.
Let him be who he is and you be who you are and make time to do things he likes and he'll make time to do things you like. One time he picks the radio station in the car the next time you do he can watch TV while you clean or cook and stuff.
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Embrace the differences... My husband and I are polar opposites, yet we get along great and have been together over 37 years.
Don't attempt to force your partner to change, just accept him as he is. As an example; my husband is a Republican and I'm a Democrat,,,, in order to avoid arguments on our political differences - we avoid discussing politics with each other. On the occassions when he voices his dislike for our President - I just ignore what he says.
The rewards of staying together long term - are enormeous in my opinion. Just two weeks back, my husband bought me an enormeous 3kt diamond ring (weeeeeeeee) ,, I'm so easy to please 
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you spend lots of time with the other person in a relationship you should find things you both like to do
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Manreg, it sounds as if you are not terribly compatible... So where does the love come from? Is it because he's a beautiful man? Is it because he's a good kisser? Is it because the sex is wonderful? Is it for some of his qualities??? Which ones???
They say that a relationship is likely to last if you can point out what you like about your partner. Write those things down, and tell him why you love him. If you can't pin point anything in particular and that your answer is just: "I love him, because I love him", then I'm afraid that relationship will probably not last.
If you can make a list like:
" I love him because he has a lovely smile when he comes home." " I love him because he does all the shopping, and I hate shopping". "I love him because he understands the sort of sex I like." "I love him because ...."
If you can make a list like that, then your relationship has some grounds to remain a good relationship.
Love can sometimes make you forget the annoying things about your partner. Don't let those annoying things become your prime concern. As for the mess, maybe you could ask him to try to be a little less messy? Show him how you would like the house to be kept, and help him do it, until he learns to do it, on his own.
Sometimes, these things are subject to two people who are not working on the same time patterns. One is patient, the other one isn't, for example.
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jimcrackcorn Wrote:Embrace the differences... My husband and I are polar opposites, yet we get along great and have been together over 37 years.
Don't attempt to force your partner to change, just accept him as he is. As an example; my husband is a Republican and I'm a Democrat,,,, in order to avoid arguments on our political differences - we avoid discussing politics with each other. On the occassions when he voices his dislike for our President - I just ignore what he says.
The rewards of staying together long term - are enormeous in my opinion. Just two weeks back, my husband bought me an enormeous 3kt diamond ring (weeeeeeeee) ,, I'm so easy to please Lol, Jim... Easy to please, or easy to buy??? (just kidding, hon).
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