02-12-2013, 01:22 PM
What is it.... 60,400 repetitions make one truth.....? Brave new world talking about how repetition of anything makes it a 'truth'.
You have been told how many hundreds of thousands of times that gay ain't ok? Each of those times are going to stand up in the back of your head and shame you for being 'that way'.
Honestly Hank for you being bisexual is a problem than a blessing. Not because there is anything wrong with bisexuality.
Its a problem because you have that other option thus can 'hide' from your gay side and settle for just women. You are not as desperate for love as a 100% gay guy who has to struggle through his own acceptance of who he is in order to be comfortable with pursing his potential mate. You have a slick way to get out of the conundrum and up until recently this has worked well for you.
In a perfect world you would have been raised to believe that any sexuality is OK as long as its two (or more) consenting adults who love and care for one another. In that world you would have none of those voices whispering guilt in the back of your mind and you would be looking for a partner for the long haul instead of agonizing over if your interests in guys is a 'wise choice'.
Love is a key I don't think you have told us you have here. Love, I suspect that for you love is a very important key to many of the issues you have expressed in the time you have been posting.
I think another problem here is you are not so interested in a relationship as you are in sex with the guys you have met to date. Sex is fine and dandy, but I suspect you are cut of a cloth that really needs sex in a loving sort of relationship.
I suspect that in order to bridge this gap between your knowing you can lust for other men and accepting that you are going to need a road of love to help you break through those years of hiding behind the straight mask.
If you have that love and feel it and own it then that 'pervert' feeling, those voices of 'its wrong' will fall nearly silent because your heart will tell you just how right it is.
I didn't date or get in a relationship until I was 24. I was so far in the closet I thought my disinterest in women meant I was a natural celibate. It wasn't until the right fella came along and I fell in love that the whole concept of my possibly being gay even crossed my mind.
It took me 6 long soul searching, agonizing months to really work through the initial 'it is wrong' phase and to balance out what I knew of God and how God felt about gays against those incredibly strong feelings of love I had for that fella.
I came to the simplest terms in my mind: God is love - I felt incredible love for that man - Love is good - Love is God. How could condemn an act of love between two individuals who loved each other?
Another thing that made 'gay ok' in my head for me was that I kept to sex within relationships well aside from those two fellas were I tried casual sex and discovered that I just couldn't be satisfied by that. The message I got from that was that God was telling me that two men making love is not the same thing as two men merely fucking... :eek:
I don't know if your 'thing' is religious based. Back when I had my 'conflict of faith' we didn't have the internet. I had to go to the bible and read with blinders off. It took me about nine months before I stumbled back on the story of David and Jonathan and reading it after having found such a powerful love myself the whole story took on a whole new meaning.
I want you to find a copy of the good Book and read the story of David and Jonathan (Samuel 1 and 2) I want you to try to read it with the blinders off and consider why it is that David said he loved John more than women at john's funeral, or why it is Saul acted as if his Son was doing something nasty instead of just having brother love for David.
If you still don't see the gay links in the bible, then try any of the first few sites here: http://www.google.com/#hl=en&tbo=d&outpu...20&bih=838
If you are still wondering how God feels about LGBT relationships. Then I suggest reading Ruth and her story with Naomi.
In both instances the sex is hinted at, and perhaps you have to have a better understanding of the culture of the time to get why it was such a big deal that Jonathan handed over his clothing to David. Perhaps it helps to understand their relationship just by how John's father reacted so badly.
I think if religion is the problem your problem is not so much with God as it is with the church and ministers who have done a poor job of teaching truth.
You have been told how many hundreds of thousands of times that gay ain't ok? Each of those times are going to stand up in the back of your head and shame you for being 'that way'.
Honestly Hank for you being bisexual is a problem than a blessing. Not because there is anything wrong with bisexuality.
Its a problem because you have that other option thus can 'hide' from your gay side and settle for just women. You are not as desperate for love as a 100% gay guy who has to struggle through his own acceptance of who he is in order to be comfortable with pursing his potential mate. You have a slick way to get out of the conundrum and up until recently this has worked well for you.
In a perfect world you would have been raised to believe that any sexuality is OK as long as its two (or more) consenting adults who love and care for one another. In that world you would have none of those voices whispering guilt in the back of your mind and you would be looking for a partner for the long haul instead of agonizing over if your interests in guys is a 'wise choice'.
Love is a key I don't think you have told us you have here. Love, I suspect that for you love is a very important key to many of the issues you have expressed in the time you have been posting.
I think another problem here is you are not so interested in a relationship as you are in sex with the guys you have met to date. Sex is fine and dandy, but I suspect you are cut of a cloth that really needs sex in a loving sort of relationship.
I suspect that in order to bridge this gap between your knowing you can lust for other men and accepting that you are going to need a road of love to help you break through those years of hiding behind the straight mask.
If you have that love and feel it and own it then that 'pervert' feeling, those voices of 'its wrong' will fall nearly silent because your heart will tell you just how right it is.
I didn't date or get in a relationship until I was 24. I was so far in the closet I thought my disinterest in women meant I was a natural celibate. It wasn't until the right fella came along and I fell in love that the whole concept of my possibly being gay even crossed my mind.
It took me 6 long soul searching, agonizing months to really work through the initial 'it is wrong' phase and to balance out what I knew of God and how God felt about gays against those incredibly strong feelings of love I had for that fella.
I came to the simplest terms in my mind: God is love - I felt incredible love for that man - Love is good - Love is God. How could condemn an act of love between two individuals who loved each other?
Another thing that made 'gay ok' in my head for me was that I kept to sex within relationships well aside from those two fellas were I tried casual sex and discovered that I just couldn't be satisfied by that. The message I got from that was that God was telling me that two men making love is not the same thing as two men merely fucking... :eek:
I don't know if your 'thing' is religious based. Back when I had my 'conflict of faith' we didn't have the internet. I had to go to the bible and read with blinders off. It took me about nine months before I stumbled back on the story of David and Jonathan and reading it after having found such a powerful love myself the whole story took on a whole new meaning.
I want you to find a copy of the good Book and read the story of David and Jonathan (Samuel 1 and 2) I want you to try to read it with the blinders off and consider why it is that David said he loved John more than women at john's funeral, or why it is Saul acted as if his Son was doing something nasty instead of just having brother love for David.
If you still don't see the gay links in the bible, then try any of the first few sites here: http://www.google.com/#hl=en&tbo=d&outpu...20&bih=838
If you are still wondering how God feels about LGBT relationships. Then I suggest reading Ruth and her story with Naomi.
In both instances the sex is hinted at, and perhaps you have to have a better understanding of the culture of the time to get why it was such a big deal that Jonathan handed over his clothing to David. Perhaps it helps to understand their relationship just by how John's father reacted so badly.
I think if religion is the problem your problem is not so much with God as it is with the church and ministers who have done a poor job of teaching truth.