Insecurity in Relationship

[connorkennedy]

I have been with my boyfriend for the last 2 years and still find myself constantly comparing myself to him. Every time I look at pictures of the two of us I cannot help but feel like I am not good enough for him. By no means does my boyfriend make me feel this way. He always tells me how attracted he is to me but I still think of myself as the less attractive one. I find it hard being in a same sex relationship because we are comparing apples with apples in a sense.

People tell me that I am the more 'manly' looking one and he is the 'cuter' more feminine one but when people tell me this it just makes me wish I was the cuter one. I have been struggling with this issue for some time and just feel like when people see us together they question what hes doing with me. I don't want to have to feel like the uglier one of the two. I hate feeling like gay guys desire him more than me.

People tell me its all in my head and I'm crazy but I just feel like no one would really tell me if I was the uglier one. I don't know why it causes me so much anxiety but it does and continues to do so.

Any advice or experience would be greatly appreciated.

All the best

[Bowyn Aerrow]

You have low self esteem. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-esteem

there are various sites on the subject: http://www.google.com/#hl=en&output=sear...85&bih=768 I would strongly suggest you start researching methods to improve your 'self esteem'.

http://www.google.com/#hl=en&sclient=psy...85&bih=768 again many sites.

Like it or not people are going to look at you two together and will make loads of assumptions based on stereotypes. People do that, you most likely do it yourself.

If your BF thinks your cute, adorable, easy on the eye - whatever then that is the only opinion you really need to work with.

Obviously he didn't want 'cuter' - he wanted you. If he didn't he wouldn't have stuck around for 2 years.

[jpazli123]

Don't let your insecurities impact your relationship. Obviously you have very strong feelings for him being with him for two years.

[dfiant]

Really? That's the biggest problem you have?

Turn a mole hill into a mountain and you will lose your man.

Those people that think your BF is the 'cuter' one aren't the ones in the relationship with YOUR BF now are they????

[Vaylen]

Don't let the weight of your insecurities weigh more heavily than the love that circles the both of you in your relationship. I once heard a wise saying that goes something like "If you think you're ugly, you wear such a blanket" I edited it but yeah...

I don't think your boyfriend enjoys it when you are constantly hating on yourself for being "uglier than him". He loves you, and so should you. Love yourself, because obviously you are good enough to be loved by him.

Don't base too much on shallow thoughts, buddy ^^. It will lead nowhere good. Instead of looking into a scarred mirror and focusing only on the cracks, look at a window because there you will see both the outside, and the inside ^^.

[pellaz]

oops there are two posts that the basically the same thing
no bad tho

[VagabondKitten]

I'm fairly petite and am usually called cute if anything, and every relationship I've been in has been with taller guys who are more masculine than me. And I usually feel the same way as you towards them, (slightly envious of their looks). However, there is no point on dwelling on these feelings I've realized because, for one they are attracted to you (or at least I would hope so, otherwise they shouldn't be dating you), and on top of that it isn't as if you can really do much about it. You can't change your general look without an unnecessary amount of work at the very least, and even then that won't necessarily change your overall look enough to go from manly to cute. Either way, just forget about it and learn to love yourself. Your boyfriend does, what's stopping you?

[crissy]

Hi there, don't think like that, at the very first place he will not like you if you're not attractive and cute. If he says that your cute it is true because true love never lies. if you really want to improve go and get beautiful but don't even bother to think about what other people will say to you or to both of you, what matters most is both of you are in love with each other and you happy. Cheer up.