Fetish Crisis

[Pix]

I understand some people are collectors, and my own view is if it's not ruining one's life then it's something to be tolerated. Sometimes it does become a problem that can lead to serious debt and other problems and then one needs help, other times a partner or relative is just being unsympathetic (much like how some slobs consider people who insist on a tidy home as having an obsessive-compulsive disorder, because they don't get it and therefore it must be the sign of a disorder). In this case you could point out that at least you're not collecting Star Wars or even Dungeons & Dragons memorabilia like crazy. :p (That said, such collectibles tend to go up in price whereas shoes don't, but I doubt most would point that out.)

If you think you have a problem then you're in good company, for example:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424...86728.html

As for what to do...maybe you could "give/loan" them to trusted friends or relatives? That way you could still see them from time to time and perhaps get them back should you get more space (and/or a more understanding partner). Also, attics (if you have one that's suitable) can be a good place to store things like this. If you have a really good attic you could even turn it into a "shoe display room" as opposed to locking them in a trunk (be careful about putting them on without checking for bugs first, and it would probably be a good idea to protect shoes from pests that might damage your prized possessions, and be advised that some rodents have no problem navigating shelves).

[BatsTDK]

I thought about putting them in the attic, but then I wouldn't have access to a particular pair I would want to wear one day.

[MisterTinkles]

You make Imelda Marcus so happy....she cries...


This is HER shoe closet...

[MisterTinkles]

I do understand, as I am a shopaholic also. But unfortunately, I cant afford that particular vice anymore.

So, Id say have someone put you on a budget. Not having the money to buy stuff you want pretty much cures you of it.

[fjp999]

So you are saying that you have actually worn all of them at least once?

That is amazing!

I love shoes but am glad that I am not an addictive type and have found a few that I really love and also have a few other things I like collecting and spending time/money on.

If this is messing with your life/relationship I dont think a forum can really help you. I think you probably have already gone thru all we have suggested. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders and are taking this serious and maybe you really need to seek some professional help.

First I would hire one of those organizer people - know what I mean? They help you decide what is really important and what isnt and get rid of things as well as how to organize your collection. They help you make the hard decisions in going thru what you MUST put in storage or on ebay or whatever so that you can live a more healthy life.

If you really have a difficult time doing something like that then it would mean more desperate measures like a therapist to understand what is going on and help you to deal and make healthier choices.

[darkearthchild]

Hey. I agree with Mr. Tinkles. I'm not just a shopaholic... I am a SPENDER. If I have money in my pocket, I will sit and contemplate ways to spend it, and if I don't spend it, I become resltless to the point that it is all I can think about.

My boyfriend handles the cash now... ...I asked for it in an effort to save us money and prevent more useless crap from coming into the house. It has been the best cure so far.

As far as how to get rid of some of the ones you have - find a person who REALLY NEEDS a pair of shoes, and give some to them. The money you spent won't seem so wasted once you see the good it can do for someone - the smile it can bring. Its worth a slightly loss to make someones life better.

You would not only be giving someone some cool kicks,... ...but possibly renewing their hope that there is still good in humanity!

-Much love

[monk]

My boyfriend handles the cash now... ...I asked for it in an effort to save us money and prevent more useless crap from coming into the house. It has been the best cure so far.

As far as how to get rid of some of the ones you have - find a person who REALLY NEEDS a pair of shoes, and give some to them. The money you spent won't seem so wasted once you see the good it can do for someone - the smile it can bring. Its worth a slightly loss to make someones life better.

You would not only be giving someone some cool kicks,... ...but possibly renewing their hope that there is still good in humanity!

Solved!

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I'm afraid to admit it might be more of a compulsive thing. My boyfriend has called me a hoarder on several occasions. Not a hoarder about anything else, just shoes.

It really hurts my feelings to know that he thinks of me that way, hence why I'm here trying to figure out a way to change.

Well the difference between a hoarder and a collector is that a hoarder just keeps the stuff, a collector works to catalog, store properly and create a museum like collection.

I'm thinking if you approach your 'fetish' along the lines of being a collector you will learn more about shoes in general, plus learn about styles, designers, manufacture - sort of filling your fetish with facts. Further you may reach the point where you will be more careful about your purchases, even set money aside to buy something like Dorthy's Ruby Slippers or something along those lines.

Having a goal for an expensive 'must have for my collection' pair of shoes may actually make you a shoe connoisseur and keep you from buying cheap off the rack shoes.

Many collectors of 'crap' like action figures start of a mere hoarders, but turn it around and learn a lot more about the fine art of collecting, how to preserve their action figures and learning what has real value over what is mere trash.

I know there are sneaker collectors who will go to auctions to buy shoes that I wore as a kid. Back in the day (my day) those tennis were owned by all, today a 'mint condition only worn once or not at all' pair of tennis are worth hundreds of more than the retail price I paid to wear them everyday until the soles had holes.

Doc Martins, vintage ones, are worth money today. back when they first became popular no one ever thought they would have any value - they were 'just shoes'.

Time will most likely make more than a few pair of your collection worth something more, if you preserve them, store them correctly, catalog where and when they were purchased, how much they were purchased for.

This isn't like other addictions where the product is consumed. You can tailor yourself to hoard selectively, still feed the need to own/have those shoes but actually make it a positive, a collection that will gain value over time.

[Kat]

It sounds like you need to take the shoes to the flea market. I'm sure lots of people will like the discount on once worn almost new, nice shoes. Nothing wrong with keeping on pair for each style and maybe a light and dark color of each but too much of anything is a bad thing unless it's maybe stuff rich people have like gold and jewelry and such.

[BatsTDK]

I really appreciate everyone's input. I'm definitely going to have to make some sort of change here... for the good of me and my relationship.

One thing I'm afraid of though, is that even though I get rid of a lot of shoes, I'll just end up acquiring more all over again. For that, I think I probably need professional help.