The Urge is Back

[James]

Many of us have been down that road, after 3 tours of duty I was rather I mess when I got back, alcohol deadend the memories a bit, but also loosened my grip on not hurting people, after 5 years I got help through a vet to vet AA. I also found that helping other people took my mind away from myself as I could work on their problems. I got most everything in perspective somewhere in my thirties but still use my experiances to help others, I have learned that MANY of the young people I have "helped" have taught me more than I think I gave them. Interaction with people not looking for anything in return is rewarding in its self, Jim

[fjp999]

First off I think you have accomplished something amazing especially at your age! CONGRATULATIONS!

No one can take away what you have accomplished! There are many older than you who dream of doing what you have done! Just make yourself a promise never to go backwards. You sound too smart for that. Get back into counseling - one on one since it worked for you and maybe group would be interesting as well...

When you feel that urge and have no one to turn to I am sure that your counselor would have given you a hot line to call but there are national gay numbers to call *if you feel more comfortable using one of those!

Concerning friends, the thing is you have a history, an addict history... most people dont understand that addiction usually is a physical as well as a mental disease. Maybe you can convince your school to bring in a speaker about addiction... just a thought.

Are you doing better with your grades? Do you have plans to attend college or uni? Do you have a job? Those kind of things, current job, future plans, will keep you going and bring a new life/friends along.

The exercise is not only good for you mentally but will get you all HOT and maybe find a new boyfriend while you work out! Working out, running, cycling is one of the best natural highs ever

Good luck and hope this little forum will help a bit

[Franco]

well 2 things,
1 - for the urge you should go to a rehab, AA clinic, or something like that. There are even phone lines, everytime you feel the need to use drugs meds or whatever you call them, or go to a support group. There must be tons in your area wherever that it.

2 - you cant erase your past, but you can act on the present and look up for the future. But that means you have to take responsibilty for hwat you did, and understand if your family and friends are still not 100% sure about you, they need time to trust again, so keep working on being well and eventually they will see you are a good guy and will trust you again. Its important you dont follow on drugs again because of that,

Good luck