First Experience

[Samdabisa]

I'm a bottom and I do get erections. They may vary in length of time that I have them mostly due to my mental ADHD with certain things. But I have found that once I was with someone I was really into and we cuddled and had foreplay, I was always "up."

[Franco]

maybe you were just nervous

[zeon]

hello,
Best thing to do is not get alcohol thrown in and start off with foreplay as time and effort helps maintain. Also depending upon the size of your penis the bigger it is at times the harder it is to maintain an erection as the body needs to maintain the blood flow... If something is going down in that department change sexual activity and work at it because foreplay always helps it keep it up. Sex is not a 5 minuten wonder nor is it a 5 hour session... On average i would say spend 30 mins - 2 hours on it and why not try something like a naked massage with hands learning about naked sensitivity to get used to being around someone naked and taking it from there x

[pellaz]

... It was a bit embarrassing, for him too, as he probably thought I wasn't into him ...

make sure you tell him what you told us. text/ email/ call him and tell him how good he is for you. Serious, send flowers, beer, candy.

dont drink unless its one of those days you set to do just only that.
you didnt have the lube and neither did he. A good sign.

... but it just brought back a lot of memories from failed attempts' with girls back when I was closeted and it felt horrible ...

for me this would be the issue.

use a condom and get tested

[Lalo]

Sounds like my first time! The same thing happened to me and it was a horrible, but in retrospect very amusing, first time experience. One of my first questions is: Did he know that this was your first time? I ask because a lover who is with a first timer, at least a GOOD lover, will operate a little more slowly and with a lot more concentration on trying to get their partner to relax. My first time, I failed to let my partner know that it was my first until afterwards. His response, which I will never forget, was "That explains it!" LOL So he had felt the awkwardness of the situation too. Anyway, the moral of the story is...don't be afraid to talk to your partner. Let them know that you are inexperienced and how inexperienced. Cut out the alcohol and any other mind altering substances, and relax. Sex, like anything else, takes some practice to become great. So give yourself a break. Oh...and play safe!

[Sport77]

I'm going to go with what Franco and Lalo said. I think that just plain nervousness had a major part with your experience. Let your partner know ahead of time that they're your first or that you're inexperienced. Above all, keep a level head, be yourself and relax, and tone down on the alcohol.

I say this to you without any (gay) experience either, as I just came out to myself and can only hope that although inexperienced, my first encounter with a man will be a pleasurable and memorable one. Your story does remind me though of my first time with a woman when I was still in the closet, which was just as embarrassing and awkward.

P.S. Stay safe and use a condom.

[TomStatic]

This happened me when i was with my first guy , i Think because it was my first time so much stuff was running around my mind that it just blocked out the getting a erection part of my brain haha after that first time it never happened again , Maybe ur similar to me then with ur mind been not use to any of it

[Corona]

Stress brings those sexual problems

[Andynyc]

Hotttttttttttttt

[Beaux]

Problem is I was trying to be a top.

Without lube!?! No....just..NO.