Okay so I am 18 and have never been tested before. After breaking up with my ex i had a slight sexual frustration release binge. For the most part it was all safe, except for a very small number of people (4) that i was friends with and trusted. Anyway, I decided to stop hooking up with people because i think it's not worth the risk and I want a good boyfriend not just fwb. I like this guy and decided to get tested just to make sure( the last person I bared with showed me his test results which were neg. And we were very close). I always freak out about this stuff, and want to go get tested wednesday but I'm scared and wouldn't know what to do if something bad happened. Then I'd have to tell my father because he has my insurance and he's not even fully ok with the gay thing. And I'd also have to tell the guy I want to date and he's such a great guy and I'm not sure he'd want me anymore if something happens(we haven't had sex yet). Any advice on calming my nerves?
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Well, he will either appreciate you being honest and up front with him and having concern for his safety, or he will be turned off about all of the unprotected sex. Then again, maybe he has had a lot of unprotected sex himself.
Is it possible for you to say to him that you want to get tested just to be safe and it would make you happy if he would do the same? That way, nobody knows how much unprotected sex there has been and it just comes off as wanting to look out for each other and make sure everyone is "clean" before jumping into anything.
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And as for your father, it's probably a little weird for most parents to think or hear about their children being sexually active, but I'm sure his bigger concern is for your health and well-being. Your age says 18 so you are an adult.
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that sounds like a good idea. one of my friends mentioned that I should get him to go together when we decided to either have sex or enter a relationship.
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I think everyone agonizes over this particular test. Even if they are 100% safe in bed, they still wonder if maybe, possibly.....
Do the test, and if there is any suspicion you have been exposed tell the tester and ask for an RNA test (as opposed to the antibodies test).
If on some off chance you are positive, you will need to work on the attending emotional issues.
Yes many guys will flat refuse to have a relationship/date or have sex with a positive guy.
I will tell you this much, a mixed relationship where one is negative and the other is positive is not a cake walk. IF you are positive you may decide to only date other positive guys.
But don't worry about that bridge until you need to cross it. Hope for the best.
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Everyone has the post test phobia
Worry more about your self for gods sake, your a grown man
It takes a few weeks/ months for your body to generate anti bodies for the test to work
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It's been a few months. I am just really nervous about it. I always think too much about the bad possibilities
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The fact that you're thinking about your sexual health is a good start, I think more people need to start doing so because in reality no one really knows what's going on inside their bodies. The "it will never happen to me" attitude by some people on this planet is stupid because they can't predict what will happen in their lives.
I recently got tested myself and it was harmless, the doctor I was with made me feel really relaxed even though she asked the usual questions about my sexual history.
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of course you are anxious. its completely normal for a test which result would pretty much change your life.
the first test i took i was worried as hell because i knew i had been going through a promiscuous phase and had had sex with dubious individuals unprotected.
the day i arrived to the virology section where they would extract my blood i witnessed how they removed a very skinny and sick individual in a hospital bed right before my eyes. i went pale.
BUT. if you dont do the test you will never be at ease. you need to find this out if you have the smallest of doubts.
what helped me was thinking positive and looking up probabilities of infection, and percentages of people infected... the numbers are on your side.
when i got that particular result i was so relieved i even hugged the medic as soon as i saw it.
it gets easier with every test. just remember how you are feeling now when you're about to have sex again.
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@Aeneas: I looked up the numbers and you're right that did help a bit. Thanks. I'm just gonna try to keep thinking positive instead of imagining the worst case scenarios. If something bad happens i'll figure out what to do when I have to.
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