Hello all,
I recently met someone and it has been a very long time since I have had sex with anyone. Yesterday, we were exploring many different things and I wanted to be fucked. Well, It has probably been around 13 years since that has happened and in the mean time, I have had some issues dealing with IBS and Crohn's disease and anyway, it has caused diarrhea to be common rather than occasional. Well, he went to try to penetrate me and he said that I as "very tight". On one hand that could be a compliment, but in this case, i was so tight that he couldn't get it in at all even thought I REALLY wanted it and did the relaxation and deep breathing, etc that I remember from back when. It just didn't work. I knew I have issues with hemorrhoids as well. Anyway, Since he couldn't get it in, I didn't get fucked...Since i had noticed bleeding from my hemorrhoids periodically and knew that they were painful sometimes as well, I decided to see my doctor today.
He told me about something that I hadn't hear of before and I wanted to see if anyone else had any similar issues and how you got around them.
My doctor said that since I primarily had diarrhea that it can cause a spasming of the anal sphincter muscle closing it down tight where it was basically impossible for anything to penetrate. I asked him if there was anything we would suggest and he said that when women have a similar issue, they sometimes use objects/toys to help open and relax the muscle. He did say that since I also had the hemorrhoids, that I might not want to do that as it could be quite painful.
Well, I wanted nothing more then (and now) to have a cock up my ass (sorry for the street talk), so I am now referred to a urologist or an enlarged prostrate issue, and a surgeon for the hemorrhoids. I, of course want to have this resolved asap so that we can have sex in any way we want to.
I guess what I am asking is, has anyone else had this issue and how dd you help it so you would be able to have anal sex? Also, I know hemorrhoids are not uncommon and does anyone know if there is something that can help with the pain issue until I can have the "Hemorrhoidectomy"? Then, is there anything that has helped quicken the ability to have anal sex after such a surgery?
Sorry for the long post, but I am trying to figure out how to get the best out of the sex in the mean time and try to figure out a good means to relax my spasming anal muscle.
I would very much appreciate any help that you might suggest....and I thought the only thing that I would have to worry about is remembering how to do everything LOL
Thank you,
Steven
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
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Steve1860 Wrote:Hello all,
I recently met someone and it has been a very long time since I have had sex with anyone. Yesterday, we were exploring many different things and I wanted to be fucked. Well, It has probably been around 13 years since that has happened and in the mean time, I have had some issues dealing with IBS and Crohn's disease and anyway, it has caused diarrhea to be common rather than occasional. Well, he went to try to penetrate me and he said that I as "very tight". On one hand that could be a compliment, but in this case, i was so tight that he couldn't get it in at all even thought I REALLY wanted it and did the relaxation and deep breathing, etc that I remember from back when. It just didn't work. I knew I have issues with hemorrhoids as well. Anyway, Since he couldn't get it in, I didn't get fucked...Since i had noticed bleeding from my hemorrhoids periodically and knew that they were painful sometimes as well, I decided to see my doctor today.
He told me about something that I hadn't hear of before and I wanted to see if anyone else had any similar issues and how you got around them.
My doctor said that since I primarily had diarrhea that it can cause a spasming of the anal sphincter muscle closing it down tight where it was basically impossible for anything to penetrate. I asked him if there was anything we would suggest and he said that when women have a similar issue, they sometimes use objects/toys to help open and relax the muscle. He did say that since I also had the hemorrhoids, that I might not want to do that as it could be quite painful.
Well, I wanted nothing more then (and now) to have a cock up my ass (sorry for the street talk), so I am now referred to a urologist or an enlarged prostrate issue, and a surgeon for the hemorrhoids. I, of course want to have this resolved asap so that we can have sex in any way we want to.
I guess what I am asking is, has anyone else had this issue and how dd you help it so you would be able to have anal sex? Also, I know hemorrhoids are not uncommon and does anyone know if there is something that can help with the pain issue until I can have the "Hemorrhoidectomy"? Then, is there anything that has helped quicken the ability to have anal sex after such a surgery?
Sorry for the long post, but I am trying to figure out how to get the best out of the sex in the mean time and try to figure out a good means to relax my spasming anal muscle.
I would very much appreciate any help that you might suggest....and I thought the only thing that I would have to worry about is remembering how to do everything LOL
Thank you,
Steven
This is gonna be a good thread.
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LOL...leave it to me to come up with something like this 
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My mother is a nurse, her recommendation is "a SMALL, SOFT toy or finger to begin with, and wiggle it around to loosen the muscle, and graduate slowly. You should expect blood. USE LUBE OR DIE," lol.
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you need to see a proctologist, not a urologist.
and wow man.... IBS, Crohn's disease and hemorrhoids? if i had all that the last thing i would be comfortable with is having any object up my ass.
what took you so long to see a specialist?
any way i wouldnt go looking for any "shortcuts" to have sex if i were you. i would wait until you see a proctologist and follow his instructions to the letter. he will operate you and might give you some cream later to get things in order. you may only be worsening your situation if you chose to have sex now.
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Sorry Steve, but until you get those hemorrhoids dealt with surgically, I suggest either the hand or the mouth.
Once you have the hemorrhoids attended to, and fully healed and assuming there is nothing majorly wrong with the prostate then start dealing with the tightness issue.
AFTER YOU ARE HEALED:
I would suggest a week of on and off fingering, with lots of lube.
Then get a small (SMALL) butt plug to wear a couple/few hours a day a couple times a day. http://www.edenfantasys.com/anal-toys/anal-plugs/ You want to start off with one that is no wider than say a thumb. After a week or two graduate up in thickness (not length) you want it to have a wide base (where your sphincter will be) but short enough to where you can sit comfortably and walk around.
Not only will that keep your ass from being mega~clenching it will also hold things in. So if there is an urge you won't need to tighten up and fight it you will have something there to stop the flow.
Also use a lube that has the numbing agent for use with the plug(s).
DO NOT use a numbing lube while you still have hemorrhoids to deal with, the fact is you could easily get ripped too much or get ripped so far you get nasty infection.
There are also silicone based lubes which are better than water based and thicker, thus they are more lubricant and last longer without becoming 'tacky' or sticky.
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Aeneas Wrote:you need to see a proctologist, not a urologist.
and wow man.... IBS, Crohn's disease and hemorrhoids? if i had all that the last thing i would be comfortable with is having any object up my ass.
what took you so long to see a specialist?
any way i wouldnt go looking for any "shortcuts" to have sex if i were you. i would wait until you see a proctologist and follow his instructions to the letter. he will operate you and might give you some cream later to get things in order. you may only be worsening your situation if you chose to have sex now.
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Aeneas Wrote:what took you so long to see a specialist?
Well, I was being treated for an enlarged prostate, but it wasn't working. The hemorrhoids, I knew about for quite a while, but since they were only giving me issues intermittently, I didn't do anything except using Perpetration-H on them. Since my BMs were 99% diarrhea, I didn't have a problem (that I really noticed) with evacuation. Being anxiety prone and with the other bowel issues, It because the "norm" have to go to the bathroom (#2) 10-20 times a day (especially in the morning). I just got used to it...didn't like it, but got used to it. I have a Colonoscopy every 6 months for my Crohn's and my gastroenterologist knew about he hemorrhoids , but never brought them up as a problem and since I hadn't dated in SOOOO long, I didn't think about it too much.
Of course now...it is a different story and I want to "make up for lost time" and do the things I used to love doing.
My underlying concern is that my "bf" will be dissatisfied in my "lack of ability' which is really stupid considering he has dealt with my other issues with absolutely no issues whatsoever. I t is really my own desire to please him (I am inherently a pleaser). I KNOW that he will be fine with whatever we will do and we will get mutual enjoyment about if it. I just REALLY wanted him inside me I have wanted to talk to him about my Dr appt and so he will know what is going on down there and that I am going to deal with it surgically (...what ever the surgeon thinks is best to remedy the issue). I think it is important to share this information with him.
As far as the prostrate...I have had the PSA done a number of times and many digital exams and even an ultrasound and nothing alarming has ever come up. My guess is that part of this is due to simple aging and part of it is due to other health issues that are already being treated. I guess this will be just another issue I can notch on my belt ... (not so much).
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Aeneas Wrote:you need to see a proctologist, not a urologist.
and wow man.... IBS, Crohn's disease and hemorrhoids? if i had all that the last thing i would be comfortable with is having any object up my ass.
Also, the urologist is for my enlarged prostrate because it isn't allowing me to empty my bladder completely and I can't cum if I have to pee. Going without for about 13 years has made me want it BAD!!!... now that I am actually interested in having sex AND I have someone that wants to have sex with me this has come at a most inopportune time.
The surgeon that I am being referred to will do the surgery for the hemorrhoids.
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Steve1860 Wrote:Also, the urologist is for my enlarged prostrate because it isn't allowing me to empty my bladder completely and I can't cum if I have to pee.
This is the worst vicious cycle EVER... It's why I drink coffee and masturbate regularly.
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Medical question...sort of...
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