a friend in need.

[hank]

I have a friend, 20 years old male. He and I meet on the web. We are pen pals. He lives in new York and I in Texas.

His last massage to me was about how he feels worthless and that nobody will love him ever, he talked about suicide, and the only peace he will ever have will be death.

I haven't told him that I love him, I said that I care about him and that hi will be here for him. I messaged him a few times and no response.

I Am crying right now, he seems to have some emotional problems that I spoke to him about. I am terrified that he may be suicidal, I don't know what to do any suggestions. Please.

[Counselor]

If he continues unresponsive, try to find a way to contact someone in his life to see if he is still okay.

[hank]

If he continues unresponsive, try to find a way to contact someone in his life to see if he is still okay.

all I have email address

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Depression is a terminal illness in many cases.

I'm sorry, but this is not too rare on how it ends. So prepare for the worst, and hope for the best.

I have no idea how you messaged him. If its through a forum, contact the moderator/operator of that forum and clue them in. They will have an IP address and be able to pass that on to the New York Police Department if you all suspect he may have harmed himself.

The trouble with that is that he may just not want to be online and only tells you he is suicidal trying to work through it and having the police show up could be more of a problem for him.

I fear the best you can do is offer a listening ear, and to suggest he seeks professional help (therapist, psychiatric care).

Here is a list of phone numbers he can call: http://www.suicidehotlines.com/newyork.html Depending on his situation.

There is the Trevor line (LGBT suicide hotline) the National Hotline and there is a New York area service number.

That last number (518) 447-9650 Is one you can call with your concern and ask them what you should do, explain he is just a pm/email contact and you do not have a street address. They most likely will have numbers, addresses and other contact information that you can pass on to this guy and suggest he follows up.

The second problem is depressed people tend to not have the energy nor the will to seek help. during each bout of deep depression I went through I just didn't have the energy to seek the help I needed. Having been through the loops of the system I know how much work there is in getting help... I didn't have the emotional resources to deal with it. Perhaps you can grease the wheels here, get things set up for him kind of run interference and make it easier for him?

That (518) 447-9650 may have people who can help you to make this process easier for him.

[fjp999]

You mean only his email address? or anyone else, friend of his?

The only thing I can think of is if it could be an emergency and you know he is in NYC and you know his email there might be a way for whatever email he uses to contact 911 in NYC - dont know if they would do that but... if you are really serious you could attempt it! or you could contact a suicide hotline and ask them if there is a way to do it??? this tech world is getting complicated.

Hope things are OK. Big Hugs. They say someone interrupting an attempted suicide is almost 100% successful.

[Miles]

I was in a similar situation a few months ago. This person had been abused by their family, harassed by people at their school, had problems with cutting, deliberately starved themselves feeling like they'd have to punish themselves for eating or even drinking water by cutting, talking almost daily of suicide. I had no way of contacting them other than through chat or email - they gave me no other information out of fear of having the cops called on them. This person seemed to have their good days, but most days it was more of the same. When someone has suffered that much and is in that mental state, there's only so much you can do and say, especially being someone they only know through the internet. I haven't heard from this person in over three months, and have no expectations of ever hearing from them again. The not knowing is the worst part, but that's life I guess.

Reading it now I wish I'd thought of the admin pm'ing route. If you take anything from this rant, it's that you should take Bowyn's and fjp's posts into consideration. Don't do what I did and be too afraid to act if you need to.

[VileKyle]

This is the biggest coincidence ever, but my roommate wanted to kill himself tonight too. Luckily he is right here and I was able to deal with it personally. As for someone with few contact methods, I don't know what there is you can do. Keep trying to contact him as much as you can. Send him emails even if he doesn't respond. Let him know that someone cares for him. It may be a dirty tactic, but let him know how much it will hurt you if he hurts himself. Do whatever you have to and hope that he reads your messages.

[MisterTinkles]

Contact the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force in NY

Maybe they have a way to find where he is at by just his email address.
And maybe they can send someone to check up on him, if they are able to find him.

If not, they can at least give you some advice.

80 Maiden Lane
Suite 1504
New York, NY 10038
Phone: 212.604.9830
Fax: 212.604.9831

[Rainbowmum]

I am so very sorry Hank.
Contact the admin at his web server and ask him/her to call it in.
That is all you can do for now.

[hank]

He was just down, really down. but we have been talking all day. Not happy, but at leastnot suicidal. Thanks everyone.

He is too ashamed of his sexuality to reach out just yet.