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How are you today?
Good day today! Church service in the am and then hanging out with Bella during the day and watching some golf on tv. Congrats to Justin Rose! Lazy Sunday afternoon but loved every minute of it.

Hope everyone else had a good weekend :-)
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GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

I hope I get a job soon because living in a house full of lazy over eaters is not working out for me. I can't wait until I can get my own place and turn off my phone so I can enjoy some peace and quiet.
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another message was deleted in my box as well as 2 thats makes 4 or more
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Jay Wrote:I always struggle to share my problems with people. I tend to think several times before I speak out my problems. I believe it has something to do with my childhood and teenage years. I built a rhino skin and auto defensive mode to protect myself. As a consequence, I prefer to solve problems by myself because I don't want to be seem as a weak person.

Adorable? Thanks Ceez. Llkiss

You are not alone and feeling that Jay, I identify with everthing you wrote in that paragraph Wink
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Jay Wrote:Thanks Odi. I had quite rough stressful months. Still do, I believe. I hope things will get better in time.

I always struggle to share my problems with people. I tend to think several times before I speak out my problems. I believe it has something to do with my childhood and teenage years. I built a rhino skin and auto defensive mode to protect myself. As a consequence, I prefer to solve problems by myself because I don't want to be seem as a weak person.

I will never be good at words as queeny but I agree with what he said, although it was ratter small Smile
You are not alone, I am pretty terrified myself to say to much, to get to personal, pretty much why I keep my self to Lol threads. From what I've read there is a lot of things I can relate to in your post. Hope it gets better for you mate Smile Take care.

Lol ye only gay men cooks? So does that mean that every chef is gay? :biggrin:

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Today am I feeling ratter confused, as always. If I am going to collage then I got to choose what to study, got no idea what I want to work with. The ignorance is killing me. I can't help either to stop thinking "Why am I gay? There is 6 Billion persons in the world, why do I have to be that 5% (3-8% somewhere) to be gay? What made me gay? Why...?", guess I just got hard to accept the fact that I am gay and nothing will ever change it. It just seem so simple living as straight. Just looking at my brother who'se been with the same girl for soon 3 years, makes me realize I want some intimacy to but not ready to come out.
Sometimes you need a bit of chaos in your life to be able to shrug off pitiful disdain about something meaningless.
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Zet Wrote:I will never be good at words as queeny but I agree with what he said, although it was ratter small Smile
You are not alone, I am pretty terrified myself to say to much, to get to personal, pretty much why I keep my self to Lol threads. From what I've read there is a lot of things I can relate to in your post. Hope it gets better for you mate Smile Take care.

Lol ye only gay men cooks? So does that mean that every chef is gay? :biggrin:

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Today am I feeling ratter confused, as always. If I am going to collage then I got to choose what to study, got no idea what I want to work with. The ignorance is killing me. I can't help either to stop thinking "Why am I gay? There is 6 Billion persons in the world, why do I have to be that 5% (3-8% somewhere) to be gay? What made me gay? Why...?", guess I just got hard to accept the fact that I am gay and nothing will ever change it. It just seem so simple living as straight. Just looking at my brother who'se been with the same girl for soon 3 years, makes me realize I want some intimacy to but not ready to come out.

I feel you on the college end. I was rushing around right after highschool, because I didn't know where to go and I couldn't get a scholarship, and the only way to get a good music scholarship, is to audition at the school and I believe it or not, am not financially as stable as alot of people percieve me as and I was worried about my family and all this was getting to me. Until my aunt in England told me I could stay with her, while I go to school out there, even though technically England wasn't my first choice, as I wanted to go to america to study.

As for the gay bit, I wouldn't look at it as "why am I gay?", but "why aren't I happy with myself?" and work it out from there. I don't think sexuality makes life any simpler or harder, but is merely a portion of who you are as a person.

Barack Obama is straight, yet his life is probably chaotic, while Ellen Degeneres has a very happy life and makes others happy, even though it was always that way.
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You know your passion for music atleast Smile First step in the right direction. I do not know what I want, and I am pretty terrified of either joining a program that I was blinded to like but will end up hate and sit with thousands in student dept or get stuck in a low payed stress job Sad I've always wanted to be a chef, and so I studied it as high school, but I don't want to continue on that road, or on anything similar.

Its hard to explain. there is lots that I am unhappy about in my life that I tend to ignore. "If I don't see it, it aint there". Guess its most lonelyness that brings me to ask my self that.
Sometimes you need a bit of chaos in your life to be able to shrug off pitiful disdain about something meaningless.
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How am I today? It's the beginning of a new work week :mad:

It's gorgeous in New York at 4:14PM EST.

I have nothing much to follow up on at work. And actually I do have stuff to follow up on, but not doing it because a) it's not going to be followed thru in my overseas office and b) no one else is going to read my emails anyway.

Have you ever felt that whatever you do, it's as though it's for nothing, no one really appreciates you, and if they do "appreciate" you, it's only superficially - they really don't give a damn. That's me sometimes. Being the new guy at my job, which I've been at for three years next month Wow I'm stuck doing stuff that anyone can do really. I have to work for two annoying salespersons, one of which I want to strangle all the time.
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Hello everyone,

I'm new here and just having a bit of a look around atm.

7:22 in the morning here so I'm off to make a cup of coffee.
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Then I welcome you to the forum mate Smile hope you like it Wombat
Sometimes you need a bit of chaos in your life to be able to shrug off pitiful disdain about something meaningless.
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