Finally realize I love him but now he's taken

[Aiiiiite123]

Ok I'm a closeted bisexual. I have just recently realized that I have feelings for one of my close guy friends. I haven't told anyone about my feelings and don't know if I should confess my feelings toward him. I didn't know whether he was also bisexual until recently. Through social networks I found out that he's in a relationship with another guy. Now I'm really confused on what should I do. Also, I have this sense that he might like me too. I can't stop thinking about him and its driving me insane. What should I do? Should I tell him or what? Anything would be extremely helpful, thank you.

[Liam]

I don't think telling him about it while he is on a relationship is a good idea. He has feelings for the guy he is with, and even if he also likes you, he's taken... Waiting for him is probably not the answer you wanted, but that's the best I can recommend to you.

Try getting more comfortable with your sexuality, and think about the possiblility of coming out. When he is free and sees you're out, your possibilities of having a relationship with him will be greater (I guess).


Oh yeah, and welcome to gayspeak!

[pellaz]

welcome to gayspeak

gay relationships are much the same as straight. Sorry they are no less treasured and private.

[HomeagainNYC]

Welcome

You could come out to him when you feel comfortable, since he is a friend; I would not, however, tell him about the feelings you have for him under the current circumstances. Right now that is all you can do, you'll have to wait and see if he comes out to you.


Timing sucks sometimes, and this seems to be one of those times, but he's in a relationship and you don't want to do anything to undo/complicate that.

[Liam]

Welcome

You could come out to him when you feel comfortable, since he is a friend

I agree. It could be even easier for you since he is also bisexual.

[Aiiiiite123]

I don't think telling him about it while he is on a relationship is a good idea. He has feelings for the guy he is with, and even if he also likes you, he's taken... Waiting for him is probably not the answer you wanted, but that's the best I can recommend to you.

Try getting more comfortable with your sexuality, and think about the possiblility of coming out. When he is free and sees you're out, your possibilities of having a relationship with him will be greater (I guess).


Oh yeah, and welcome to gayspeak!

I guess waiting is the best thing I can do right now. Thank you so much for the helpful advice and thanks for the welcoming!

[Aiiiiite123]

Welcome

You could come out to him when you feel comfortable, since he is a friend; I would not, however, tell him about the feelings you have for him under the current circumstances. Right now that is all you can do, you'll have to wait and see if he comes out to you.


Timing sucks sometimes, and this seems to be one of those times, but he's in a relationship and you don't want to do anything to undo/complicate that.

Yes I wouldn't want to complicate things. Yea the timing definitely sucks. Thanks for the help!

[Corsac]

Come out to him if you think that you will feel better with yourself and trust him, but do not tell him that you have feelings for him regardless of what feelings you think he may have for you. He is in a relationship and not only could this complicate that, it can also complicate the friendship that you have with him.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

This is one of the hazards of being in the closet, you end up being passed over because people think you are 'straight'.

You had 'no interest' as long as you thought he was straight, now that you see he is on the same playing field that changes. I assume he knew you were 'gay/bi' all along? If not maybe its time you start reconsidering being 'hidden' and start working on being noticed more for who and what you are?

Yeah you can confess to him you are bi/gay - however its a bit too late to say 'I love you'. Later, and depending on how well you know him you can confess you had a crush on him.

This way when he and this current partner part ways (great chance this relationship will fail eventually), he will know that you are 'available' and might have interest in a relationship.

Just don't go around trying to break these two apart, or put undo stress on his relationship by confessing your love for him.

Try to live and learn something from this and try to move on. If 'us' with him is meant to be it will eventually. If not then it won't no matter how hard to try to make it happen.

[Aiiiiite123]

This is one of the hazards of being in the closet, you end up being passed over because people think you are 'straight'.

You had 'no interest' as long as you thought he was straight, now that you see he is on the same playing field that changes. I assume he knew you were 'gay/bi' all along? If not maybe its time you start reconsidering being 'hidden' and start working on being noticed more for who and what you are?

Yeah you can confess to him you are bi/gay - however its a bit too late to say 'I love you'. Later, and depending on how well you know him you can confess you had a crush on him.

This way when he and this current partner part ways (great chance this relationship will fail eventually), he will know that you are 'available' and might have interest in a relationship.

Just don't go around trying to break these two apart, or put undo stress on his relationship by confessing your love for him.

Try to live and learn something from this and try to move on. If 'us' with him is meant to be it will eventually. If not then it won't no matter how hard to try to make it happen.

Thanks for replying! I'm not sure if I'm ready to come out yet but I do agree that I need to let him know I'm bisexual. Should I straight up confess or gradually leave little hints?