I really don't know whats going on with me...

[Kevinowo]

The mentor isnt trying to teach me about gay relationships but the way gay life is especially at my age since I seem to not enjoy myself like im suppose to at my age according to him. I do agree with the other guy again though, I do seem to be an old soul in a young body.

[Kevinowo]

Thank you im trying to cope through with the dissapointment since I now know it will be coming allot, and I just truly wish their were more kind guys out there .

[MisterTinkles]

I highly doubt that's exclusive to "gay life".

No, but its more prevalent, and its part of the topic.

[MisterTinkles]

It seems to me, that every man has a penis, but few have hearts or brains.

[SIZE="4"]Yeah, thats the other thing.....

WAY too many morons out there who cant be bothered to use even ONE braincell, because they think whats in their pants is SO DAMN SPECIAL!!!

Someone once told me in regards to this same kind of quote...
"I can get a dick anywhere, every jackass has one.......finding a man with brains though, is extremely time consuming work"[/SIZE]

[Aeneas]

[SIZE="3"]Yeah, what he said.


The one thing Ive found in "gay life" is that 99% of them are nothing but players. They want nothing more than to fuck with your mind. They might act nice, thoughtful, or sweet...but in reality, they want nothing more than to lead you on to dump you. They get their cheap thrills this way.

It is VERY, VERY difficult to find someone to be honest with and who will be honest with you, like you for who you are, and tell you the truth. BUT THEY ARE OUT THERE! Its a lot of work though.

you and i share similar pessimistic thoughts about the gay world.


but i believe there is more to it than just "cheap thrills".


many people who have been played time and again will forcefully learn the game and play it to survive in this universe. they might find that as long as the other person gets hurt first, they win.

ironically, we criticise the coldness and superficiality in gay people but many have developed that outer armor by being victims themselves. tired of being played themselves everyone tries to be "ahead of the curve".

and then people who are indeed honest about their intentions and feelings get confused for being naive and or inexperienced.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I'm sorry.

Clearly these guys want 'just sex' and are not looking for LTR relationships.

You need to make it clear what it is you want from the start, and develop a policy similar to the one I have, which is a strict 30 day no sex policy. Most players will not hang around for 30 days and play their games without tipping their hand in that time.

A guy who is serious about a relationship will be cool with the 30 days no sex and will strive to learn more about who you are as a person, not as a sex object.

I fear that the older guys who want younger guys want younger for various reasons, such as they are trying to reclaim their youth, or they want a 'father/son' type relationship not 'two men as equals'.

So the right guy is going to be a rare creature. As someone else said, you will have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find that prince.

For the record, over the past 20 years I have seen a general trend for all guys to be more feminine, straight, gay, whatever - they are all getting pretty prissy compared to the way were were real men back in the day.

Its a society change, sparked by that metro-sexual movement. So its not just going to be in Huston if you thought that moving elsewhere would change your chances when it comes to fishing.

You are 18, the most you have been legally able to pursue men is 2 years, its not a race - take your time, sow some of those wild oats, have a little fun. Seek friends not just lovers.

Besides, you will discover when you hit 30 nearly all the stuff you want/need in a guy at this time will not be the same, a lot will change as you discover this world and how it works and how you work as an adult.

You will be ok, and eventually you will find the right guy. Patience.

[Varanus]

Take reflection upon oneself...When one is attracting such types of men its usually the same old pattern of behaviour we see time and time again.
Now please dont take any offence to what I'm going to say as its not a personal attack towards you at all, as I myself have once been there.

It seems to me that theres a lot of gay men who are so desperate for that "one" relationship that their almost willing to do it with anyone who fits their criteria selection and this is where the problem starts.
In having this almost desperate smell about you, it attracts men of bad intentions while on the surface they seem like Mr Dreamy on the inside there just waiting for that vulnerability of yours to surface and take advantage of that or just get their thrills of the "cheat factor" or what ever else they like to do.

Look at yourself and fix who you are first, accept the fact of an entire life on your own and become comfortable with yourself in other words learn to love and respect your own company first and foremost.
Once you have accepted the possibility of spending an entire life frame without a partner, it often makes those relationships you do have so much more special and means your not one to be walked over as your just as comfortable with a partner as without one.

Find a friend first, its funny how strong a relationship can last from becoming friends first (as you learn and see this person from a different point of view) your thoughts and emotions change hard and fast.

I guess i was lucky in a sense i found that special someone almost straight up after coming out, but it took me years to feel comfortable with the idea of never having a partner and so i learnt to love myself foremost and i guess thats what makes this relationship so different and so strong is the fact we both understand that relationships are a work in progress and are not to be taken for granted.

I hope none of what ive said has offended you or anyone else here, it wasn't meant to be hurtful or degrading in any shape.

[MisterTinkles]

you and i share similar pessimistic thoughts about the gay world.


but i believe there is more to it than just "cheap thrills".


many people who have been played time and again will forcefully learn the game and play it to survive in this universe. they might find that as long as the other person gets hurt first, they win.

ironically, we criticise the coldness and superficiality in gay people but many have developed that outer armor by being victims themselves. tired of being played themselves everyone tries to be "ahead of the curve".

and then people who are indeed honest about their intentions and feelings get confused for being naive and or inexperienced.

Not pessimistic, REALISTIC.

Dont care that they were hurt by some lieing backstabber. That doesnt give anybody the right to start doing it to everyone else. If they dont like it, dont do it. They only have themselves to blame....and they make it near impossible for any of the rest of us who refuse to play thier f-ked up headgames to find a decent partner in life.

These people supposedly have brains. And apparently they cant be bothered to use them.

Walk away, kick them in the nuts, put your fist in their face, bitch slap them, scream at them, but DONT BECOME THEM!!!

[Counselor]

The mentor isnt trying to teach me about gay relationships but the way gay life is especially at my age since I seem to not enjoy myself like im suppose to at my age according to him. I do agree with the other guy again though, I do seem to be an old soul in a young body.

If you think you need a mentor to play "gay Yoda" for you, I would recommend avoiding dating sites altogether until you are secure with yourself, without the help of someone telling you how you should live your life. It's your life, after all, do what makes you happy.