Family home is going to be no more and I

[TomStatic]

Right so today my mom dropped a bomb shell that she would love to sell this house my family Home where i have grown up , for a fair reason i understand

To get a home with her boy friend of 8 years, I mean i understand this, but my thing is now right i have no job and am on bassic wellfare payments have tryed to find work for i dont know how long and i have 2 trips in summer already paid for,
I have no where to go once the house is sold, and i really just need some guidance of some sort, it may not happen until the end of the year and i prob am over thinking this alot but i mean im so panic-ed now,

My bf still lives at his family home and i doubt their would be any chance of them letting me stay there or even if he is ready for me to even be around him 24/7
The joy of life i tell ya haha hate been stressed over just things that happen, feel free to give me any advice or whatever yeah thanks

[Woollyhats]

Why can't you go with her, or apply for community housing while you have time? That just seems so odd to me! My mom often tells me that I "HAVE" to live with her for forever, to the point where I feel guilty that I plan to leave some day! Admittedly I have two part time jobs and school, but I wouldn't have ever actually move out because of anything like that.

Anyway, I think I'm being conceited, sorry.

Talk to her about how panicked you feel, maybe she'll realise how worried you are and try to relieve some of your fears. Also, apply for community housing, and don't stop trying to find a job! Tell them you're in an emergency if you can (you're about to not have a place to live, right? Tell them you're either homeless/becoming homeless). Good luck with this all .

[TomStatic]

My mom is so strange her bf hates been around other people and has changed her like that sort of, she never asked about where im going to go or do just that she is selling the place and thats it,

yeah i will try apply for the housing list, thank u for the reply im just so stressed helps to hear some thought this song explains how i feel in alot of ways ha

[Woollyhats]

That was an emotional song, and it made me a little upset. You should know that while we can't physically be there for you, that you have people here that care about you and will support you in what you're feeling. You also have your boyfriend, and hopefully some friends on your end . And if your mom is decent she'll make sure you don't end up homeless when you move.

If it turns out that you HAVE to move out on your own, you do have options. You can continue trying to find a job (if you have a community centre in your city/town use it!), continue welfare, and apply for community housing programs (basically cheap and affordable housing), if those exist where you live. If you end up homeless, such programs will place you on an emergency list and get you housing extremely quickly, and in the meantime you can likely stay at a shelter. I actually did this all when I left my father's, though I live with my mom now.

You can also put out ads that you're looking for a room-mate too NICE ROOM MATES DO EXIST!!! My mom had a wonderful one years ago. I think he was probably gay actually, I'd never thought of that before!!

As much as you are panicking, and as frightening as this definitely is, I really think that even in the worst case scenario that you will turn out okay.

[Geminize]

Sorry you are feeling stressed about the change ahead. It's hard to feel you have no control over things happening in your life. You can't control what your mother does: she has her own life and her own needs. So focus on what you can control.

You can keep looking for a job. Every no gets you closer to the next yes. Cliche, maybe, but optimism helps. Talk to friends, look for roommates, there are other people who are in similar situations and need to split rent. Maybe after your mom sells she can help you with rent while you look for a job. Talk to her as an adult. It's a challenging transition to make with your own parent, but it's worth it.

Good luck, and keep us posted!

[HomeagainNYC]

You're right, your Mom does have a life, just like you; it's getting to be that time where you need to start pursuing your dreams, on your own. As you say, you don't know how long the house will take to sell, so you have time to work out a plan on the best way to handle the situation, then execute it.

I know I've taken jobs that were not my dream jobs, but rather a means to an end, when I first got started on my own. Being able to provide you own home - even very modestly - brings a lot of self satisfactions and security. Leaving your childhood home is easy for some and hard for others; I'm really sorry it's hard for you.

There are job's out there, even if it's cleaning bathrooms at the gas station; oh wait, that was one of those job's I took, to pay my rent - when I was first on my own. I also had a lot of roommates, to share the costs.

You will sort this out, so try not to worry too much about it, your Mom has given you the heads up - and time, work on your plan, then follow through, this is the natural progress in life, even though it might seem scary.

Here's another song, from a different perspective. Hope it helps.

[Rainbowmum]

One step at a time.
Reapply for housing and if need be take the steps for priority housing due to medical and emotional stress.

Your mother can help you with this by verifying it through a letter.
Good luck with all of it.

[MisterTinkles]

I dont know how things work in Ireland, but cant your mother give you some money from the sale of the house to pay rent for a year? Hopefully you will be able to find work by then.

[partisan]

Hi Tom, really sorry you are going through this.

Thanks for posting the song, listened to it earlier and liked it :-)

I went through all this when i was not yet 17 and my mum and her husband decided to move to another country, I ended in some bad positions (after an attempt to live with my father - an utterly different household from the one was used to) I ended up in hostels etc. I dont really know what advice to give you, except, maybe- start acting now as if you have to find your own place, you've got a bit of time, so don't leave it till last minute an have nowhere

All the best.

[TomStatic]

Thanks guys for all the replies means alot of me you are all so nice to write back to me,

There is no way my mom would ever give me money for rent not a chance, all day i was debating saving as much money as possible and maybe move country i was thinking Germany Berlin as i have a friend there who might let me stay for awhile i speak no German but i heard it was easy to get work there even for just English speakers id pick it up easy when i was there i guess, im thinking alot into this but i guess the saving is what i have to do anyway