01-08-2016, 06:15 AM
Quick Points Before I Start:
1) I have been debating starting this topic for months now for various reasons.
2) I was going to post this anonymously to avoid the ridicule but have decided, eh, bring it on.
3) This will most certainly turn into a too long, didn't read post. I'll try to make it fun.
4) I'm stalling by making so many "quick points" so I'll just get right into it...
Hi everybody. I don't know where to start here without turning it into a biography that's long and drawn out but I don't have much of a choice if I want to convey my situation correctly.
I don't quite know for sure what I want to do about working but I know what I don't want to do. I didn't say "I don't know what I want to do with my life" because that's not true. I wanted a relationship, that was my ultimate life goal. I have that now and things are going pretty well and, without being able to read the fortune, will continue to. Even if this relationship ends, my ultimate life goal will be to have a relationship. I'm not needy. I'm not codependent. I know what I want and what that has always been and will continue to be is a partner (sling you arrows now if you wish). What my problem is would be what do I want to do to generate income. I've never known the answer to that.
When I was a little one (really little) I wanted to be a police man. Then a fire man. Not sure which came first. Then when I got much older I wanted to be in bed with them. After about age six though, I never could answer "what do you want to be when you grow up". When I was a teenager and all my friends had jobs, I didn't. Now, I didn't have my parents give me everything, I just went without. I didn't go out, I didn't go to the movies, I didn't have a cellphone, I didn't have a car. I didn't make my own money so I just was thankful for what I did have and went to school (high school). Eventually High School ended. Thank God on one hand, hated that place. But that was also stressful. I didn't want to go straight to College, or "University" as you outside-of-USA-people put it (I still giggle at it being called "University", sorry) so I figured I had to work. I spent a year looking for a job. It was partly because the year I decided to job hunt was America's worst in many years and partly because I was suffering from some pretty major Depression and other personal issues that are too boring to detail here. (I'm going to randomly insert a paragraph break here because it seems like this has gone on too long for my tastes. Wall of text.)
The other part was because I didn't know what I wanted to do. After taking career tests over the last few years I keep getting the result of being focused/other synonyms for that. I won't do something unless I'm 100% behind it. I won't do it "just because" or "it's what everyone does". I know people work because they have to. But I also thought for myself I would find something I was passionate about/at least didn't abhor. That didn't work and I eventually ended up in retail for six-seven years. I hated that. Oh, how I hated that.
While working retail I was in College (yes, I went back to school at some point during retail hell). I was also in therapy. Lots, and lots, and lots, of therapy. I finished with an Associate's Degree in General Studies (a fancy way of saying: See, I went to College.) which I knew wouldn't get my anywhere. I figured while I was in school I would figure out what I wanted to do. Career tests, deep conversations, three years in school, and more therapy later, I still had no clue. So I walked out of school with not much of an idea as to what the hell I wanted to do. But I started to figure out what I didn't.
Retail. Retail. Retail. If I could formally crucify retail, I would. If I could execute most of the people I've had to serve while working with retail, I would. If I could pile up most of the people I've worked with into a van, and push said van off a cliff. I would. I so would. I would do it, then rewind time, and do it again. I don't like retail. I'm someone who is terrible having people over me. I don't work well supervised, I don't work well having someone tell me exactly what to do. I like to be given a project, get offered a way to do it, and go off and do it. As long as it gets done and no one had to sell any cocaine or murder any immigrants in order to finish, everyone is happy.
I'd like to make my own schedule, be my own boss, do my own thing, and have some magical entity pay me for whatever it is that I'm doing. Yes, very fairy-tale like. Everyone would like that. Wouldn't they?
Let's go back to College. I kicked its ass. I finished with a 3.9. I was in the Honors program. I floored several of the teachers (or "professors" as they're supposed to be called in College...why is that again anyway? What separates them from teachers in regular schools again?) with my writing. I am not bragging about myself. I am stating facts. I would never brag about myself. I am my biggest critic. Don't bother starting an anti-fanclub against me, I'm already the founder and the President of that club. Despite this display of intelligence, people with far less academic accolades knew what they were in school for. So there's me, little genius boy, getting all these exceptional grades and thinking "I'm a professional student" and then there's little Susan with a 2.0 going to be a nurse.
Fast forward to now to where I know for me, College is largely useless. Whatever I want to do, it probably won't involve College. I'm throwing money away. The magical solution I came up with as to what to do for work came to me in a dream (not really but it sounds more profound). Work from home. Find a company that wants you to do things. Do things. Be compensated for doing said things. But what is this thing I would do? Write? Transcribe? Make pornography? Sure I'll do those (except for that last one, my partner would never let me transcribe! I mean, make porn...sadly...) So I have looked into all of those things (minus the porn). They pay less than horribly. Maybe at a rate that would break down to about 1-2 dollars an hour. So that would essentially mean people in poverty would have more money that I. Not a way to really make much of a living huh?
My partner is an engineer. He has a rather flexible schedule. He's an older guy. He's a sweetheart. I stay home and essentially take care of the house, and the little dogs. I help with our very small business which he (and I) do on the side. It does not make enough money at all to pay for anything really, it's more hobby than anything else. He makes enough on his own to support us just fine but that is not the issue. I feel awful for not contributing. I want to satisfy us both. I want to do something I want to do and make money to help him and spend on him. I help him at work occasionally when he needs it, which makes me some money but it's not much. It's also so sporadic even a gerbil would have issues living off it.
I've looked into many online companies, even bought e-books on the subject. But I haven't came across anything that is willing to pay what be comparable to minimum wage. I'm not looking for big bucks here (which makes me think of those ads that go something like: My Aunt Tilda quit her job and makes 11,761 A WEEK working from home for just a few hours!!! Click HERE to install Our Malware App!) just something that could start to generate some money for myself. It seems like the only people who do make money online, are making huge amounts of it. Where's the middle-of-the-road people, you know?
The more I write the less I have of an idea on what else to with this intro post. I could write more but this is getting long and the end question, I have already sprinkled in various parts of this post, and titled the topic along the same idea. But I'll sum it up this way: Is working from home a legitimate option nowadays or is it still something that sounds good, but not possible. Where could you even go to start on such a journey? Why am I asking this on a gay message board of all places? I know not the answers to any of these questions so I'm posing them all to you.
On an unrelated note and a more fun question: Bagels or English Muffins? I like bagels better.
Edit: Wow that was longer than I thought.
1) I have been debating starting this topic for months now for various reasons.
2) I was going to post this anonymously to avoid the ridicule but have decided, eh, bring it on.
3) This will most certainly turn into a too long, didn't read post. I'll try to make it fun.
4) I'm stalling by making so many "quick points" so I'll just get right into it...
Hi everybody. I don't know where to start here without turning it into a biography that's long and drawn out but I don't have much of a choice if I want to convey my situation correctly.
I don't quite know for sure what I want to do about working but I know what I don't want to do. I didn't say "I don't know what I want to do with my life" because that's not true. I wanted a relationship, that was my ultimate life goal. I have that now and things are going pretty well and, without being able to read the fortune, will continue to. Even if this relationship ends, my ultimate life goal will be to have a relationship. I'm not needy. I'm not codependent. I know what I want and what that has always been and will continue to be is a partner (sling you arrows now if you wish). What my problem is would be what do I want to do to generate income. I've never known the answer to that.
When I was a little one (really little) I wanted to be a police man. Then a fire man. Not sure which came first. Then when I got much older I wanted to be in bed with them. After about age six though, I never could answer "what do you want to be when you grow up". When I was a teenager and all my friends had jobs, I didn't. Now, I didn't have my parents give me everything, I just went without. I didn't go out, I didn't go to the movies, I didn't have a cellphone, I didn't have a car. I didn't make my own money so I just was thankful for what I did have and went to school (high school). Eventually High School ended. Thank God on one hand, hated that place. But that was also stressful. I didn't want to go straight to College, or "University" as you outside-of-USA-people put it (I still giggle at it being called "University", sorry) so I figured I had to work. I spent a year looking for a job. It was partly because the year I decided to job hunt was America's worst in many years and partly because I was suffering from some pretty major Depression and other personal issues that are too boring to detail here. (I'm going to randomly insert a paragraph break here because it seems like this has gone on too long for my tastes. Wall of text.)
The other part was because I didn't know what I wanted to do. After taking career tests over the last few years I keep getting the result of being focused/other synonyms for that. I won't do something unless I'm 100% behind it. I won't do it "just because" or "it's what everyone does". I know people work because they have to. But I also thought for myself I would find something I was passionate about/at least didn't abhor. That didn't work and I eventually ended up in retail for six-seven years. I hated that. Oh, how I hated that.
While working retail I was in College (yes, I went back to school at some point during retail hell). I was also in therapy. Lots, and lots, and lots, of therapy. I finished with an Associate's Degree in General Studies (a fancy way of saying: See, I went to College.) which I knew wouldn't get my anywhere. I figured while I was in school I would figure out what I wanted to do. Career tests, deep conversations, three years in school, and more therapy later, I still had no clue. So I walked out of school with not much of an idea as to what the hell I wanted to do. But I started to figure out what I didn't.
Retail. Retail. Retail. If I could formally crucify retail, I would. If I could execute most of the people I've had to serve while working with retail, I would. If I could pile up most of the people I've worked with into a van, and push said van off a cliff. I would. I so would. I would do it, then rewind time, and do it again. I don't like retail. I'm someone who is terrible having people over me. I don't work well supervised, I don't work well having someone tell me exactly what to do. I like to be given a project, get offered a way to do it, and go off and do it. As long as it gets done and no one had to sell any cocaine or murder any immigrants in order to finish, everyone is happy.
I'd like to make my own schedule, be my own boss, do my own thing, and have some magical entity pay me for whatever it is that I'm doing. Yes, very fairy-tale like. Everyone would like that. Wouldn't they?
Let's go back to College. I kicked its ass. I finished with a 3.9. I was in the Honors program. I floored several of the teachers (or "professors" as they're supposed to be called in College...why is that again anyway? What separates them from teachers in regular schools again?) with my writing. I am not bragging about myself. I am stating facts. I would never brag about myself. I am my biggest critic. Don't bother starting an anti-fanclub against me, I'm already the founder and the President of that club. Despite this display of intelligence, people with far less academic accolades knew what they were in school for. So there's me, little genius boy, getting all these exceptional grades and thinking "I'm a professional student" and then there's little Susan with a 2.0 going to be a nurse.
Fast forward to now to where I know for me, College is largely useless. Whatever I want to do, it probably won't involve College. I'm throwing money away. The magical solution I came up with as to what to do for work came to me in a dream (not really but it sounds more profound). Work from home. Find a company that wants you to do things. Do things. Be compensated for doing said things. But what is this thing I would do? Write? Transcribe? Make pornography? Sure I'll do those (except for that last one, my partner would never let me transcribe! I mean, make porn...sadly...) So I have looked into all of those things (minus the porn). They pay less than horribly. Maybe at a rate that would break down to about 1-2 dollars an hour. So that would essentially mean people in poverty would have more money that I. Not a way to really make much of a living huh?
My partner is an engineer. He has a rather flexible schedule. He's an older guy. He's a sweetheart. I stay home and essentially take care of the house, and the little dogs. I help with our very small business which he (and I) do on the side. It does not make enough money at all to pay for anything really, it's more hobby than anything else. He makes enough on his own to support us just fine but that is not the issue. I feel awful for not contributing. I want to satisfy us both. I want to do something I want to do and make money to help him and spend on him. I help him at work occasionally when he needs it, which makes me some money but it's not much. It's also so sporadic even a gerbil would have issues living off it.
I've looked into many online companies, even bought e-books on the subject. But I haven't came across anything that is willing to pay what be comparable to minimum wage. I'm not looking for big bucks here (which makes me think of those ads that go something like: My Aunt Tilda quit her job and makes 11,761 A WEEK working from home for just a few hours!!! Click HERE to install Our Malware App!) just something that could start to generate some money for myself. It seems like the only people who do make money online, are making huge amounts of it. Where's the middle-of-the-road people, you know?
The more I write the less I have of an idea on what else to with this intro post. I could write more but this is getting long and the end question, I have already sprinkled in various parts of this post, and titled the topic along the same idea. But I'll sum it up this way: Is working from home a legitimate option nowadays or is it still something that sounds good, but not possible. Where could you even go to start on such a journey? Why am I asking this on a gay message board of all places? I know not the answers to any of these questions so I'm posing them all to you.
On an unrelated note and a more fun question: Bagels or English Muffins? I like bagels better.
Edit: Wow that was longer than I thought.