05-07-2013, 10:17 PM
Hi im Lisa and i dont know who to talk to about this. So a few months ago i went to a different country for an exchange and i met this girl and after a while i fell in love with her. i had never before fallen in love with a girl and i didnt know how to handle it. anyway she was straight and i had to go back home and i had a really hard time getting over her... after four months i went back for a week and saw her again and i was absolutely devastated when i saw how little she cared about me. but then for some reason i went back home without having feelings for her anymore.... and since then im kinda over her altough she will always kinda be my dream..
then i started watching the l word and OMG shane/kate is hooooooooootttt!!!!!!!!! she is just the most beautiful creature i have ever seen hahah
the thing is: i have never had a boyfriend( nor a girlfriend) before, and my friends do have that so i am scared that i just wanna be different to them, wanna have a reason for not having success with guys, im scared that i think im lesbian to hide it from myself that my friends all have awesome guys but me. i havent told anybody about me falling for a girl btw. all my friends think im totally straight.
i have kissed guys and the first time i ever kissed one i enjoyed it when he touched and gave his attention to me but since them i either found it disgusting or i didnt feel anything. i once kissed my best female friend to practice but it was just awkward.... she is totally straight btw.
and i also feel like i would never fall for any of my female friends.. before i fell in love with that girl i always liked guys and since then i am not interested in them.. but like macklemore is hot
so the weird thing is: i REALLY want to be a lesbian. i dont know why but id just love to have a girlfriend, presenting her to my friends, going through the trouble of being homosexual and fighting for rights. is that weird? i feel weird.
am i lesbian????? PLEASE HELP ME i am just so confused and wanna know what i love...
then i started watching the l word and OMG shane/kate is hooooooooootttt!!!!!!!!! she is just the most beautiful creature i have ever seen hahah
the thing is: i have never had a boyfriend( nor a girlfriend) before, and my friends do have that so i am scared that i just wanna be different to them, wanna have a reason for not having success with guys, im scared that i think im lesbian to hide it from myself that my friends all have awesome guys but me. i havent told anybody about me falling for a girl btw. all my friends think im totally straight.
i have kissed guys and the first time i ever kissed one i enjoyed it when he touched and gave his attention to me but since them i either found it disgusting or i didnt feel anything. i once kissed my best female friend to practice but it was just awkward.... she is totally straight btw.
and i also feel like i would never fall for any of my female friends.. before i fell in love with that girl i always liked guys and since then i am not interested in them.. but like macklemore is hot
so the weird thing is: i REALLY want to be a lesbian. i dont know why but id just love to have a girlfriend, presenting her to my friends, going through the trouble of being homosexual and fighting for rights. is that weird? i feel weird.
am i lesbian????? PLEASE HELP ME i am just so confused and wanna know what i love...