05-10-2013, 05:48 PM
Hi to all,
I`ve never been here before but I will appreciate any advice on my current situation.
I`ve been with a guy for 7 months, I`m 23 years old he is 46 years old. We didn`t plan to be together, it just happened, he liked me and I liked him so I moved in with him into his house.
First two months were wonderful, we were very happy with each other, we spent lots of time together, passionate, patient and understanding, he tried his best to help me in any way.
I ve moved away from where I previously lived, after few months of looking for a job I had to accept crappy one I hate, he drives me to work, I pay for fuel as I cant afford car on my own now, when I wanted to get motorbike he said NO to dangerous yet he complains he has to drive me around.
He refused any money for the house as he said I do not earn much, so I only pay for food and fuel and my own mobile bills etc. yet then he complains he has to now work 24/7 to pay bills which is rather excuse.
Somebody could say wonderful for me, unfortunately because it is his house he is keep setting rules, on day off I cannot relax and go to sleep after midnight coz I`m not teenager anymore as he stated and I wake him up when I come to bed late. So I offered I can sleep downstairs on those occasions to not disturb him. He said its inappropriate and that I would still disturb him.
He asks me for opinions about things but if my opinion is different from his he just does things his way, he asked me about kitchen change, I didn`t like the way he changed it but he said it is his house so he will do it the way he likes it.
He complains I do not want to socialize with his friends, the problem is all his friends are 50-60 years old and I do not have many common subjects with them...
He even started fight coz I wanted to prepare everything for dinner 2 hours in advance so later I would spend less time on it, he found it wrong so I couldn`t
And the most frustrating thing for me is no sex, because of medication he has to take he has no sex drive anymore, no touch, no kiss, I`m air in bed, its not problem for him.
We had several big fights, and now he stated if I will not respect his rules and his house I can just f*** off, he was ready to throw me out straight away in the street. He said how much he has done for me how much he sacrificed for me and how ungrateful and inconsiderate I am. He does not see the fact how much I am sacrificing being with him.
It has been like that for a while as we both just fighting then trying to fix everything, he says he loves me, that I am the best thing that has happened to him; I am confused with my feelings, the person I met 7 months ago was wonderful but now...
The problem is that now I do not feel secure anymore, because I know that if there will be anything I will not like I will have to adjust myself or I risk falling out with him again and being thrown out. I thought about going back to uni or looking for better job but I am restricted as he will not move with me as he does not like other parts of the country and here are his friends, so I have to stay with him in that place which may not be the best to find job in my profession so I have to have job I hate, and then he says I am lazy coz I do not want to work more hours.
What should I do? Am I really inconsiderate and ungrateful?
I know he is good person but maybe not the one for me.
Shall I stay and build my uncertain future with him and try to be happy or slowly look for flat to stay, look for a job and move away before it will go more complicated for me.
Sorry for this long story, but any advice would be helpful.
I`ve never been here before but I will appreciate any advice on my current situation.
I`ve been with a guy for 7 months, I`m 23 years old he is 46 years old. We didn`t plan to be together, it just happened, he liked me and I liked him so I moved in with him into his house.
First two months were wonderful, we were very happy with each other, we spent lots of time together, passionate, patient and understanding, he tried his best to help me in any way.
I ve moved away from where I previously lived, after few months of looking for a job I had to accept crappy one I hate, he drives me to work, I pay for fuel as I cant afford car on my own now, when I wanted to get motorbike he said NO to dangerous yet he complains he has to drive me around.
He refused any money for the house as he said I do not earn much, so I only pay for food and fuel and my own mobile bills etc. yet then he complains he has to now work 24/7 to pay bills which is rather excuse.
Somebody could say wonderful for me, unfortunately because it is his house he is keep setting rules, on day off I cannot relax and go to sleep after midnight coz I`m not teenager anymore as he stated and I wake him up when I come to bed late. So I offered I can sleep downstairs on those occasions to not disturb him. He said its inappropriate and that I would still disturb him.
He asks me for opinions about things but if my opinion is different from his he just does things his way, he asked me about kitchen change, I didn`t like the way he changed it but he said it is his house so he will do it the way he likes it.
He complains I do not want to socialize with his friends, the problem is all his friends are 50-60 years old and I do not have many common subjects with them...
He even started fight coz I wanted to prepare everything for dinner 2 hours in advance so later I would spend less time on it, he found it wrong so I couldn`t
And the most frustrating thing for me is no sex, because of medication he has to take he has no sex drive anymore, no touch, no kiss, I`m air in bed, its not problem for him.
We had several big fights, and now he stated if I will not respect his rules and his house I can just f*** off, he was ready to throw me out straight away in the street. He said how much he has done for me how much he sacrificed for me and how ungrateful and inconsiderate I am. He does not see the fact how much I am sacrificing being with him.
It has been like that for a while as we both just fighting then trying to fix everything, he says he loves me, that I am the best thing that has happened to him; I am confused with my feelings, the person I met 7 months ago was wonderful but now...
The problem is that now I do not feel secure anymore, because I know that if there will be anything I will not like I will have to adjust myself or I risk falling out with him again and being thrown out. I thought about going back to uni or looking for better job but I am restricted as he will not move with me as he does not like other parts of the country and here are his friends, so I have to stay with him in that place which may not be the best to find job in my profession so I have to have job I hate, and then he says I am lazy coz I do not want to work more hours.
What should I do? Am I really inconsiderate and ungrateful?
I know he is good person but maybe not the one for me.
Shall I stay and build my uncertain future with him and try to be happy or slowly look for flat to stay, look for a job and move away before it will go more complicated for me.
Sorry for this long story, but any advice would be helpful.