Just leave him now before it gets any worse.
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You have no idea what one bother told the other, the bother may have heard its all you.
Best all 3 of you sit down and work it out, the more people that knows what's going on here the better.
Someone above said its none of the bothers business! Of cause it is, it's everyone business to get involved when someone is getting beat on.
It does sound not a great place to be, as not only are you 2 fighting a lot but you seem to accept it as its ok as it's a 50/50 split.
Needs sorting fast or before you know it your into another relationship that also goes the same way, as these things normally do unless you chance it before it becomes the norm.
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If you two aren't willing to try counseling maybe you should take a break. NO ONE should be hitting in a relationship.
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Back when I still actually dated women, I had a relationship with a woman where every time we'd disagree we'd have just horribly vicious fights. We never got physical in our fights but we went all out verbally just digging into each other finding deep things we knew about each other to hurt each other.
In the end it was a toxic environment, we realized it, and we broke up. We still talk, we're actually good friends, but we were not good together.
Why did we do it, I think passion. We were expressing passion in the way we knew how, an unhealthy way, but what we knew.
When it comes to physical abuse, I agree with what others have posted before me, you can't put up with that.
Richard
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Venting is good, but if this is something you want to make work, then the two of you DO need to sit down figure things out. An unbiased third party isn't a bad idea either if the animosity can't be set aside long enough to communicate sensibly.
Instead of constantly giving each other space when things heat up, why not get to the root of the problem beforehand and discuss what both of you have been bottling? It's pretty obvious that there is a lot of pent up stress here. Be open with each other and communicate. That way it's less likely to ever reach the boiling point.
Personally, I wouldn't deal with anything that turns violent. I'd walk away because no matter what I feel, certain actions are unacceptable. Determine what you are worth.
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