Charity and community service: insincerity?

[Wade]

i dont now wade. i have staff who help me and who i lvie with beacase we have learning disabilities . i hope they do it job becase them care about us .the staff think its bad if peple with learning disabilities dont go a good life and there job to help it. if my staff wasnt i wouldent want them. some peple hate if pople with learning disabilitys have a badlife and they wont to help. my staff is good becuse they think ii matter and my life

I don't doubt that your staff wants the best and cares for you in the slightest. Conditions for that type of work are probably better than in the UK than they are here and may therefore attract a better breed of humans. I live in a very small little corner of the world and my experience in no way is representative of the whole.

I cared very much for the folks I worked with and grew to like most of them very much, and remain in contact with some. But I did not seek that job in order to help anyone. That's brutal honesty for ya! But I am one person. A selfish horrible person clearly. And my motives in no way indicate what is true for everyone.

I witnessed emotional and psychological abuse perpetrated by my boss onto developmentally disabled people, the people that she supposedly worked for. She developed a relationship with clients and then subjected them to unnecessary guilt and shaming and treated them in such a way that she would never dare treat people outside of her sphere of control. She was Nurse Ratched to a T (tee?). Over the four years that I worked there I repeatedly went to her superior to describe what I had witnessed and nothing was ever done about it. Not once.

I felt guilty about leaving because I (egotistically) felt that I was in some unhealthy way a buffer between her and them. I still feel some guilt for leaving. That's one of the reasons I stayed so long, even though I was miserable working because of my boss. But again, did I want to do the right thing, or was just guilt? Are those two things the same?

But nothing was ever going to change, and I wasn't helping, so I quit. I also wanted to go back to school; another act of selfishness.

And as much as I go on about what horrible people the folks I saw working were, there were also some great people. Sometimes I think that true compassion is not something that you can advertise or is plainly visible. I, and others, developed a an empathy towards the individuals I worked with by getting to know them and I did care for their welfare, just as I'm certain that your staff does for you. But I witnessed some unsavory things that made me a little cynical, or at least skeptical when I hear about someone doing something "charitable."

[joseph]

i would tell the police if the staff abused me

[MisterTinkles]

Charity begins with you.

It doesnt matter what or who has given you the way to be involved in some charity....for whatever reason...it is up to you to make it a charitable contribution or just another part of your personal agenda....or that of someone elses personal agenda.

If you are given the opportunity to do something nice for someone, it is up to you to help or not.

Some people love to help others, and they use these blatantly agenda driven programs and people so they can get to help the people they want. So it works both ways.

You also get the experience of having done something like this, whether you like it or not. At least you have been privy to the wide world of how charity really works on this planet.

[Lilmy87]

I don't think it is fair to say people only work with people with learning/developmental disabilities (I wonder what terms you prefer Wade? I think most people who have these conditions themselves prefer just learning disability, in my experience. Certainly not other less 'PC' terms!) because of desperation.

I think it is an awful state of affairs that working with people who have support needs (learning disabilities, older people, physical disabilities, mental health issues etc) are often paid so little, and that their jobs are seen as unskilled. I think some see it as adult 'babysitting' and get totally hung up on the personal/intimate care elements that may be involved.

I lack the economic knowledge to explain why wages are often so low, but I suppose that it is within a capitalist system, work that does not create profit,where success is measured by human outcomes rather than money, is not given a high economic value. I wish it was valued more, because it is one of the most important jobs possible. The person supporting a vulnerable person, who cannot fully advocate for themself, or meet all their own needs, is what stands between that person having a terrible life or an awful life. It is so powerful.

Often the people who get into this work do so because it is their nature that they prefer a job where they can acheive success and satisfaction through the outcomes they achieve for the people they support. Some people see it as a real vocation; there are some amazing people out there, creating new and innovative projects and initiatives to empower people in various ways. Very educated and brilliant people are doing this work, and wouldn't wish to do anything else, and find professional, even financial, success through this. Others may be support staff helping people day to day- but they do so in such a positive, inclusive and enabling way that they too can transform a person's life.

That said, let's be real, some people who work in the care sector are just their because it's a job, and you can tell. They may not even be abusive as such, but just do not really interact with people they support, have low expectations of them, and lack respect for them. I would hope these people don't last long, and will go find their minimum wage working in a different kind of job, which is likely to be easier and not mess up anyones life.

I see staff out and about support people quite often. I always notice how they support them. The litmus test is to imagine that person they are supporting was your own loved one; are they treating them in the way you would hope? If I feel a staff member is treating someone badly, I do my best to find out what organisation they are from, and have a word with their manager. Don't get me wrong, Iam not a total busy body,but twice I have seen really objectionable treatment, and I had to say something. I think it is a duty, when someone is not able to fully advocate for themself. Equally, I have passed on praise when I see excellent support.

[princealbertofb]

I think I know why this sort of care is so little paid, Lilmy... I think the theory of it goes back to the times when nurses were nuns. They would not expect to be paid for their work because their needs were taken care of by the community. They had lodging and food from being in a monastery or convent... The same applied to monks. Nuns and monks alike were often skilled, more knowledgeable, as they could read and write, and had time on their hands, having no mouths to feed... the advantages of celibacy. That's how we construed that nursing and caring should not be paid much or at all. During wars, housewives found themselves doing the same sort of caring but again it was voluntary work. It is only recently that nursing has become a full-fledged recognised medical profession, one which ought to earn and be paid, but the old habits die hard and we still want the care and the compassion free of charge. Unfortunately, nurses are no longer nuns and the communities that supported their needs are no longer there for them to rely on.

[Lilmy87]

Ironically, I think if we had more inclusive communities that looked out for one and other, we'd have less need for support staff at all!