05-30-2013, 09:01 PM
TheDeac Wrote:High Tyler, (my name as well) I honestly don't have much to say that others haven't buy to simply say...
I was in your shoes about 2 years ago, up until then I had dated nothing but women, and the only sexual relationship I allowed myself to even consider was with women, that being said I knew for a long while I was attracted to men, more so than women. I was very big into church, even preached a lesson or two to the youth groups and shared some struggles I'd been through. It wasn't until some new members to my church showed up, a lesbian couple, that I started to question what I had been taught. The church didn't try and change them, didn't condemn them, just loved them, I asked my pastor about it (all while keeping my sexuality a secret) and he surprised me by simply saying sin is sin, no one is greater than the other and love is love, we ended up having a long discussion that changed me in a lot of ways, he stated he didn't feel it was a sin, and that if God is truly love who is he to judge who's allowed to love who.
All this time I'd spent years feeling alone I decided to change how I pray, instead of asking for the women that would make me whole I started asking for the person, shortly after I met my boyfriend, turned out he was praying the same and is a very strong Christian so we mesh well together. The love we share is amazing and strong, we work together, never fight, and take care of each other, does that sound like I'm wrong or soothing that wasn't meant to be? He helped me through one of the lowest points in my life and I truly don't know if I'd still be here if not for him, before I was full of self loathing and ashamed of my attraction to men so much so I tried to change it and force it out if me, now I know who I am and have started taking steps to actually coming out to my family, a tough one because they do not believe gay is ok or that we should be allowed to be married.
I guess my only advise is don't give up God doesn't want you unhappy
I will being doing what you do did. Praying. If it is ok with God it will happen, if not it won't.