Gay Christian

[Tyler]

So I am a Christian and I am gay. I use to think you could not be both gay and a Christian, but recently within the past few months I came to the conclusion that you could. However because I was raised in church, I believe that you can be a homosexual, but you can not act on it. That it is the act of homosexuality that is the sin, not the being homosexual. So I am looking at a life of being single. Which can suck at times, but at times I am ok with it. I am not trying to start a debate. I just want advice on how to be more ok with being single and never acting on my desires.

[TimeSage]

While I normally scoff at organized religion, (My belief's on god are my own, and I don't need a man in a funny outfit to tell me them) might I suggest finding a different church? There are plenty of churches that are fine with gays, to the point some even offer gay weddings. Being repressed is bad for you, ya know?

[archubbycub]

I highly recommend you watching the video on YouTube by Matthew Vines. It explains the verses in the Bible that are most often used by Christians to condemn homosexuality. I too had a hard time dealing with my sexuality, even after coming out. Especially since I was raised in a strict Southern Baptist home. But after watching that video, I saw that God loves me, and He is the one who made me and "my lifestyle" as so many like to call it, is not sinful. It's over an hour long, but highly worth the watch.

[d3n]

Sorry for another kinda offtopic.
I agree with TimeSage. There are many perspectives on what God defines as sin and not a sin. Can you really be sure that the perspective you have is the right one of them all? It's good that you accepted your homosexuality but I think you should take it just one step farther by saying that it can't be a sin to love someone. Why would it be a sin to be happy and in love, even if it's of the same sex. It's simply love, and if you believe in God you should just embrace the way he created you and not believe everything a church told you.

Noone should be condemned to be alone, don't you agree?

[SolemnBoy]

The thought of someone oppressing their desires because they're perceived as "wrong" makes me a little sad. Is there no way anyone can convince you to just... you know live, be yourself and find someone you love to spend life with and all those clichés? :/

You don't lose your opportunity to be a devout christian just by acting out on your homosexuality.

[Woollyhats]

Have you perhaps tried the United Church of Christ? Certainly, many churches, and encyclicals have the view that you do, but why would God have given you the capacity to love a man if you are not allowed to act on it? Love is a beautiful thing, and I don't mean going out and having one night stands, but real and actual love with someone, and certainly God would like you to experience that.

If you're certain about the life you have chosen, you will probably feel longing and hurt for much of your life, but it does get easier over time (the sexual peak of a male is 18yrs/old), but you will always be alone. You will go through the happiest and most memorable moments by yourself, live (likely) by yourself, you will literally die alone. And there is nothing I can say that will make that easier.

You will get used to it. For sure, the advice, "Become comfortable and happy with yourself", the advice that every single person should act on and remember, applies to you. It's just going to apply for the entirety of your life. Consider whether this is the life you truly want, and consider different ways to interpret scripture --- there are gay theologians and Christians, after all.

Consider reading the journey that this Christian family went through in accepting their son's sexuality:
http://www.familyacceptance.com/question...tion3.html

And if you choose chastity for your entire life after all of that, my advice is to not miss out on life, do as much as you can do! You have much more time for hobbies, to run marathons, join fantastic groups, make amazing friends, but make sure you are choosing this road because it's what you want for your life! Don't choose this because you are attempting to compromise with yourself, or your parents. If this is a decision influenced by fear, or if you haven't researched it thoroughly, you need to know that you aren't at an optimal time to make this decision for yourself just yet.

However, if this is your personal relationship with God and what you, uninfluenced by others, desire after research, reflection, and considering all of the pros and cons, then I support your decision.

[Tyler]

Well, I believe that if God is against it is that its because it is unnatural. Also I can not be sure if I was born this way or not. Mainly because I am a stero-typical gay. Distant father and overbearing mother.

[Woollyhats]

Well, I believe that if God is against it is that its because it is unnatural. Also I can not be sure if I was born this way or not. Mainly because I am a stero-typical gay. Distant father and overbearing mother.

Well, which part is unnatural? The natural biological process you experience when you are attracted to someone in which chemicals are released in the brain, or perhaps the biological trait that causes you to achieve an erection because you saw an attractive man, caused by hormones, blood vessels, nerves, and muscles which all work together to do so? What I mean is, You are confusing "Natural" with what should be "I do not believe that I am an optimal example of human evolution because I do not continue the species.", but that's not a "natural versus unnatural" issue, since your sexuality is completely biological and natural. And with over population occurring on the planet, maybe it's an evolutionary perk after all (that's a joke hehe) .

Also, think about your sexuality carefully. Have you ever been attracted to a woman? Could you be if you tried? Did you make the choice one day to be gay? Have you considered: "Who in their right mind would choose to be gay?!" ? It's likely that you didn't, so a person can deduce with logic that homosexuality is not a choice that a person makes.

Today though, we also have science, and research into the particular genes involved in homosexual persons. There are genetic links (this is controversial mainly because people don't understand genetics,and that some people have genes that are "switched off" and others have them "switched on", which means someone with "gay genes" could have them "switched off" and not be gay). There are also biological traits that gay men have, such as a different shaped brain (you could be identified on a brain scan! Sort of scary!), shorter average stature, and my personal favourite, average larger penis size. No, that's not a joke.

Here's the wikipedia article on the subject, easy and nice to read. Well, okay, if you haven't taken biology it might be difficult for you to understand, but it's a great start for you.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biology_and...rientation


Anyway, there are a lot of gay people, from all different walks of life. I, for example, had an overbearing father and a mother that was distant for a long time! We're polar opposites in the stereotype, and still gay! I don't think any of that has anything to do with our sexualities to be honest!

So you're not unnatural, if you were unnatural you'd be made of tin and go, "Bzzzt!". If you have questions about this stuff, post them, there are lots of people that would be happy to answer them .


Also, I hope I'm not offending you or anything. I'm trying to answer your questions factually and kindly, and I hope that you do a lot of research into this on your own. If this is making you uncomfortable, take a complimentary puppy:

[ChrisD]

Hehe let's see.....

I was raised Roman Catholic by a very conservative half of the family (my mother's all- Polish side.) However, my occupation has exposed me to several different denominations (Baptist, Congregational, UCC, various degrees of liberal or conservative Catholic churches etc) and I've come to the conclusion that it ain't a sin to love another human being, no matter the gender.

That being said, I'm really not a religious person. Yes, I show up to the service every week (and trust me, I think I'm in church more than the priests are sometimes) but I don't bind my life to the church. In the increasingly rare moments that I feel the need for divine aid, I go with the principle of WWJD? (what would Jesus do?), filter out what the church has told us, and go with what I think God is telling us if we're listening. Basically that usually boils down to do what feels like the right thing to do.

Now I'm not bashing organized religion. Hell, my life's work depends on its existence. But I think you have to try and separate what the Church is telling you for its own purposes vs. what you think God would want.

[Tyler]

Thanks, its not making me uncomfortable, I am glad for the advice, but I dunno I still feel like
God is against acting on it.
Also if he created me gay but it is against it then he is not the God I thought he was. However I do not think he is that cruel. So I am still not sure that he created me to be gay. I think he more or less allowed me to be this way, but still does not want me to act on it. Also I am afraid that if I think it is ok to act on it, I may die and find out its wrong and end up in hell over it. Plus I do not want God to give me over to a reprobate mind.

Sorry for that act of randomness I hope you can make heads or tails of it.