06-01-2013, 02:15 PM
I thought I might as well vent out about my last couple of months - I think this forum is more than anything else the friendliest place to do it.
I started seeing a guy who I met on Manhunt - I thought it wasnt going to lead to anything really but it did. He was that guy I always fantasized about - you know tall, with the most gargantuan of hands that you could dream off. Initially I wanted to just see what it would be like to go after a guy liked that and it was fun.
Then we started dating for real, and at the beginning it was fun. Well the sex was but the more time I spent with him, the more... annoying he became. The sex became painful and at times it went beyond choking and at time's he'd hit me. Sometimes he'd punch me in the arm when we were just hanging around and quite honestly it hurt.
And then he would start putting me in a headlock and start giving me noogies. I mean I felt like I was in fourth grade again being bullied but I thought it was all part of the package really. But seriously - I got noogied!
And then i got afraid of him and I wouldnt talk to him and he'd bitch about me being a wuss and blame me for never wanting to heave sex. I mean... I was genuinely afraid of him, so I would agree to anything that he'd want to do besides sex. I didnt want sex all the time, I wanted a bit of romance.
So i just turtled like I normally do - I hid in my books. I read all the time and eventually he broke up with me (mentally I broke up with him a month before that). He said I wasnt fun and was leaving me. I pretended to be sad at the whole thing but in my mind, I was like 'THANK FUCKING GOD' (even though I don't really believe in him/it/her anymore).
I swear, I'm an idiot.
I started seeing a guy who I met on Manhunt - I thought it wasnt going to lead to anything really but it did. He was that guy I always fantasized about - you know tall, with the most gargantuan of hands that you could dream off. Initially I wanted to just see what it would be like to go after a guy liked that and it was fun.
Then we started dating for real, and at the beginning it was fun. Well the sex was but the more time I spent with him, the more... annoying he became. The sex became painful and at times it went beyond choking and at time's he'd hit me. Sometimes he'd punch me in the arm when we were just hanging around and quite honestly it hurt.
And then he would start putting me in a headlock and start giving me noogies. I mean I felt like I was in fourth grade again being bullied but I thought it was all part of the package really. But seriously - I got noogied!
And then i got afraid of him and I wouldnt talk to him and he'd bitch about me being a wuss and blame me for never wanting to heave sex. I mean... I was genuinely afraid of him, so I would agree to anything that he'd want to do besides sex. I didnt want sex all the time, I wanted a bit of romance.
So i just turtled like I normally do - I hid in my books. I read all the time and eventually he broke up with me (mentally I broke up with him a month before that). He said I wasnt fun and was leaving me. I pretended to be sad at the whole thing but in my mind, I was like 'THANK FUCKING GOD' (even though I don't really believe in him/it/her anymore).
I swear, I'm an idiot.