At what age did you know you were gay?

[Dan1980]

I just want to say that your an amazing parent and your son is amazing. I knew I was gay when I was 14 but finally came out to my parents when I was 17. My mother told me that she always knew, she was just waiting for me to tell her.

[SolemnBoy]

First of all, awesome parenting there.

Second of all, I knew I was attracted to people of the same sex when I was around 10 or 11. But it took me some time to realize I was actually gay.

[princealbertofb]

Hello Daisy and congratulations for handling the situation in such a 'professional' way. One would expect no less of one's parents but hey! some parents really have no clue as to how to show their support, or find the heart to hide some awkward feelings.
If you guess you always knew and had that feeling, then it's possible that your son knew all along too. The fact that you have let him thrive and progress in a way that is nurturing and loving will always help.
It is remarkable that he was able to come out to you. Make sure it's ok too, if he decides he needs to change his mind about his sexuality. It's probably not all that fixed at 11, but maybe it is hardwired too.

To answer your question, I think adolescence is when I realised I was more attracted to men than women, although women were always attractive to me as friends. When I was no more than 4 or 5, I absolutely wanted to be Snow White (my mother dutifully produced a Show White costume for me, which I wore for a while, making adults laugh in the process, I remember that much). My grandmother was shocked that my mother was encouraging it, but the following year I wanted to be Robin Hood, and my mother dutifully produced a Robin Hood costume, which she made herself for me and my brothers. (no girls in the family).

Two of her sons were gay, and I don't know where it came from but it was hard for her to accept at first, when my brother and then I came out to her. She did her homework, learnt a lot about the community and how to defend us, and teach others on matters gay.

The best you can do is to give him all the love and support you can, and to prepare him towards a life where he'll sometimes confront difficulties and opinions that are disapproving of him and his so-called ''lifestyle''. He who is warned in advance comes better prepared, goes the French saying. There must be a similar saying in English, which, for the moment, escapes me.
to GaySpeak, Daisy. Hope you'll stay with us a while and tell us how your son is doing. He's lucky he could come out to you, because, as you mentioned yourself, it was a heavy weight upon his shoulders. We wonder, and wonder, and wonder always why we were made that way. Nobody seems to know exactly, but the fact is we exist and we deserve just as much love and respect as anyone on this planet. Thank you for granting him these. mile:

[Kenny221]

If I remember correctly, I think I knew around 9 but I didn't actually recognize what those feelings meant until I was 12 or 13. I was literally in the shower and thought ' oh god...I'm gay'

[pellaz]

i was out to my self at age 40, that good or bad .
my husband knew him self all that much better and thinks he was confidant he was gay maybe age 5.

a lot has already been said here but
typically its up to the person who he chooses to out him self to. If he is not wanting your husband to know, well, its good. Please share this thinking with family members that are in the know. so even in the worst of times everyone can respect your youngest son's wishes.

i wish the best for you and your family.

[bluefox4000]

Well I knew I was bi at 11....came out a month later.....fuck fear i said, lol

Mick

[kokomoloko79]

I was attracted to women at a very young age but tried my damndest to be straight for a looong time. My high school boyfriend knew I was bi as did my husband(!) but I didn't come out as fully gay until this year and even then only to a select few people my mother included.

[Eros]

Helloo, I'm new :3 I was looking for ppl to talk about my "secret" lol, so... yeah :3

ohh and about the thread topic xD I've always thought that I was fully gay, I had barbies and stuff when I was a kid (I wanted to be a mermaid LMAO) but I fell in love of this girl on school, I mean, I was crazy about her, sadly we broke up about 2 years ago because I changed school (we were together about a year and a half :C ) and 2-3 years later, I saw this guy on my current school, I mean I couldn't stop thinking about him, and I didn't know if he was a faboulous straight hottie xD or just a little flamboyant lol, He says he's straight ofc, but we both know he lies!!! :I oops, I think I got a little off-topic lmao

[Zet]

I didn't knew that I was gay until I was 18, though there has always been signs indicating that I've always been unknowingly. I went to a party at my high school graduation and was very drunk, and so I checked out a guy a lot so at the end he came to me, and my only reflex to that was to push him away and threaten him. That moment was my eye opener and the more I thought about that moment the more it actually made sense, so I joined here for some advice and after a while was I certain that I was gay.

But I always felt so uncomfortable in the gym showers so I always arranged a private shower, so I never got to check out nude guys. But I never felt eager about girls ever, during my exchange trip to England Chesterfield, I was the only guy around 5 other Swedish exchange students who were girl, and though they were very beautiful and most was trying to hit then, was my only intention to stay friends, and we was good friends for a while Though I don't know if that makes me gay xD

The only way that I would've preferred to be a woman than a man, is not having to hide that you're attractive to men. I'm 20 years old and I am still in the closet heh, but with everyday that comes does my wish to come out enhance.

But rather of topic, I must ask, how did he come out really? What did he say?

But either way, you seem like a fantastic parent ^^

[daisy]

Wow I'm a bit overwhelmed by all the responses. Thank you so much for taking time to respond. Some great advice.

My son is amazing and I'm lucky to be his mom. And yes, he is brave and I am so proud of him and he knows I support him and adore him no matter what.

I firmly believe he was born the way he is and I have never understood why some people get all worked up over who other people are attracted to or fall in love with. Good advice about being open as my son grows up and figures out who he is.

princealberto, your mom sounds awesome!

dan1980 I know how your mom felt, that's exactly how I feel. I was just surprised it was so young. I completely support my son no matter what. He and I have always been very close and him telling me not only does not change that but makes me happy he can tell me something so personal. I think he was brave.

bornthisway, kids have been teasing him about being gay since first grade. He has always been (his words) girly. I know its going to be rough for him and I plan on continuing to make home a safe place for him.

I guess time will tell what dressing as a girl is all about. I have gotten into many many fights with my husband over letting him be who he is .

When my 14 year old daughter out grew her barbies, he wanted them and I was fine with her giving them to him. My husband and father in law were very upset with me. Too bad on them. I think expecting kids to fit neatly into gender role stereotypes is dumb anyway. I was forced to wear dresses as a kid and hated it! As an adult I don't wear dresses or make up. Forcing me to wear dresses did not make me a girl girl. Quite the opposite!

So it sounds like him knowing at 11 is not unusual but him telling me at this age is a bit out of the norm. I guess I'm just the lucky mom of a very brave child.