inthecloset is finally Out The Closet

[outthecloset]

Well I finally did it...

Heres what I did, not too exciting but it worked. I called my oldest sister who already knew and informed her that I was going to do it and to stay on standby in case she needed to console my mom. I also told my girl friend that way she could console me while I did it haha. Well I wrote out a little letter and then sent it to my mom via text. I didn't hear anything back from my parents so I made my sister call her. After about another 20 minutes my sister calls me back and informs me that my mom was taking it a little hard and was in total shock. Said that she wanted to have a meeting in the morning. Also said that my dad was not in shock and was kind of expecting it and was calming my mom down.

The next morning I went to their house and you could tell my mom was up all night and was recently crying. We had a good talk. She tried telling me that she doesn't believe that I was gay and that I was wrong. She also asked a bunch of questions like, "was i abused as a child", "what triggered this" "am i a virgin" "how long have I known" those things. She thinks that this isn't something that we are born as but something we choose or was triggered by something growing up. she even said that maybe she let me hang around my sisters too much when i was younger hahaha. Anyway, I assured her that I was certain and that I was born this way. I did not choose this life, it chose me.

That day I went back to work (I work with my dad at his business). Everything was normal. He acts like nothing has changed. I was so pumped up that I went ahead and told all my close friends as well. I hadn't told any of my straight friends yet because I was scared to close them. So i bit the bullet and told them all within a hour or so. Everyone reacted great. After I convinced them that I wasn't joking ( which took a while) Almost everyone thought it was a joke and was in total shock. But after they believed me they all said that they were proud of me for telling them and that it won't change our friendship at all. Well it has been about a week now since everyone has been told and it really feels wierd that they don't treat me any different and even have fun with it making some jokes. One even asked me what he was on a scale of 1-10. I replied with a 0 lol.

So I am very happy that I am such great friends and supporting family. Just wish now that I hadn't waited so long. Can't wait to finally live life to fullest without having that weight on my shoulders any longer. Thanks everyone for all the support and advice through my coming out process. Really has helped.

[ManicReptile21]

Im so proud you finally pulled the inner strength out. It takes a shit ton of courage to do it all. its like everyday of your life was building up to that moment. a real milestone. Im so glad and i hope to be able to do the same one day!

[Sylph]

I'm gonna be that gurl everyone hates for a minute, but what is 'coming out' and this 'closet' of which you speak?

I am very excited for you! I feel like I never had to come out, cause it's been obvious since day one, but it must take such enormous bravery!

I wish I did know, really, what coming out must be like or entail, because I can't truely relate, but I do know from reading other peoples stories that it must be very hard, so you should absolutely proud of yourself!

Go run da world honey! <3

Gotta change dat name now!

[outthecloset]

Thanks guys. And the name change is in the works "outthecloset" hehe

And @queenodi It was very hard for me. I basically shocked everyone I know. I don't have any characteristics or stereotypes of the "gay" type. I'm basically a "straight" man that likes having sex with other "straight" men hehe

[Sylph]

Thanks guys. And the name change is in the works "outthecloset" hehe

And @queenodi It was very hard for me. I basically shocked everyone I know. I don't have any characteristics or stereotypes of the "gay" type. I'm basically a "straight" man that likes having sex with other "straight" men hehe

Well Sis, I suppose it may just be harder for "regular" (and I use the word loosely and reluctantly) men, then us Queens, cause the only thing that was/is hard for me is discrimination and when you grow up in your own skin and is a skin many people dislike, you learn to make it thicker.

Perhaps on a Systemic level, I'm alittle envious of men who can "blend in", but then again, I love who I am and wouldn't want to be anything/one else :p.

And now everyone knows you do too!

[Miles]

All the worrying you did before, and I'm glad it turned out not to be for much. Your mom will come around. Congratulations fella.

[Woollyhats]

This makes me really happy, especially after seeing all of your posts. You went with the text after alll...!!! But you go for doing what you want!

Congratulations all the way!

-Blows party streamer-

[oneofcuriousity]

That's amazing. Good for you.
Text would have been better the telling my mom face to face (with a hangover) and I got the same question

[outthecloset]

Thanks guys. Yes i had to do it via text. No way I could have said it face to face. I'm a coward lol.

[princealbertofb]

OutTheCloset, bravo, really bravo!!! It is one of the hardest things we have to face... facing the disappointment, the sense of deception, the living of a lie etc... so I'm really glad that your family and friends took it so well. Not completely surprised about your mother's attitude, she may have other issues as well. She may even be really worried, depending on how well she thinks she knows what being gay means. You'll have to abate her fears and worries by gradually helping her to understand. There are groups out there to help parents of gays, maybe you'd like to suggest one to her (PFLAG) if there's a chapter near you. Your dad's a great guy, maybe he suspected and was waiting for you to tell. Your mum has maybe tried to hide it. There will be signs that she had picked up on, maybe subconsciously. She's been trying to hide it to herself the same way you hid the real YOU inside that closet.
The best you could do for your mum is to bring back the perfect partner, one who can one day be her 'son-in-law', whether you marry or don't (will you be able to?). She'll be worrying about you being happy, she'll be worrying about someone being there for you. That's what mothers fear. If necessary, explain to her that you are and will be careful about your health (no need to go into details).
I told my mother in an e-mail and I didn't think it would be a cowardly thing to do. It was just the way I felt the most able to handle the stress. It worked.