The closeted and the dl

[Juniorlove]

Am I the only one who keeps running into these guys on gay apps, websites, and real life? Even WITH face pictures, like what's the point in being on these apps if you're in the closet anyways. The point is for two people to meet whether it be discreetly (I find there to be a difference between being discreet and DL) or out in the open to talk and meet. Even if that meet ends up in NSA relations. I've noticed lately that I've been running into so many fakes that have like two total different lives. It's really frustrating when you're trying to get to know someone, and they only want to show you the one side of them that isn't even HALF the truth of who they really are. *sigh* I wish people weren't so complicated, but we all are.

[Kiid]

Closet people need to know there are gay people out there too.
People aren't that complicated for me. But I'm not looking for people.

[Juniorlove]

Closet people need to know there are gay people out there too

I guess sometimes we can be sort of a myth.

[Kiid]

But I don't think that living secret lives is good. I know lots of people do this but I guess each to their own.

[BorneoJake]

Closet people need to know there are gay people out there too.
People aren't that complicated for me. But I'm not looking for people.

Thats why I didn't come out till later because I wasn't comfortable in my skin and everyone I knew was straight. I think thats why closeted people come to these websites, to let themselves know there are other people who have gone through similar struggles. Its sad really we live in a society that frowns upon gay people, but every year I feel theres one step closer to acceptance of us in our society.

[Juniorlove]

Thats why I didn't come out till later because I wasn't comfortable in my skin and everyone I knew was straight. I think thats why closeted people come to these websites, to let themselves know there are other people who have gone through similar struggles. Its sad really we live in a society that frowns upon gay people, but every year I feel theres one step closer to acceptance of us in our society.

I guess everyone does have a coping mechanism. I just think it's not a good idea for someone to go to a hookup/dating app for such things. But everyone has their own idea of foolishness, and for someone that might be a completely normal and sane thing to do at the moment. I just think there's so many opportunities to be caught out by a coworker or a gay friend you didn't know about.

I don't really think I'm upset with closeted people because I think everyone begins at that stage, but I am upset with those that use that as a status, and then try and toy around under the guise of being "discreet".

[pellaz]

dont come out if you dont feel comfortable inside your self. Than again there are BIG rewards for having figured it out one way or the next.

we are not the 10% that they promised but rather a small minority 3-8%.
So being gay might actually complicate your life alot.
-Chances are all your acquaintances are straight.
-There are no roll models and you have been excluded from many experiences so you might not be inclined to like football, put up drywall or work on your car's brakes.
-Schools have not been kind to the gay population. All this and the first inclination is to hide.

Things are changing sooo fast!
If you look the path inter racial marriage or sufferance took vast parts of the US resisted till federal legislation make all states compliant.
-More on the personal level; people's needs are fluid and will should change through their lives, how many gay people are in a straight relationship and live sub functional lives.
-Parents can now send their child to a better affirming school
-Having a gay child is an option today; how many gay children think they have to come out to their parents, after living with your child for 15-20 years you would think they would know and send him her to the prom with the appropriate date.

[Jashi]

It's a crazy changing world out there. Everyone has a way to meet in the middle to get that social or sexual satisfaction. In time all will be out and ready to mingle. Til that time, everyone and anyone should be comfortable with themselves before learning to be comfortable with others.