So, you've got such BAD problems....

[MisterTinkles]

So? A lot of people have relationships issues. Furthermore that doesn't exclude them from having OTHER deep issues such as the ones you've posted above. It's not bitching and whining, a lot of them are just seeking advice, such as you are seeking attention. This kind of stuff reminds me of that "A pop star dies and everyone cries, but a solider dies and no1currs" type of thing. We all have issues, and no matter which way we look at it, we all have it bad in some form of way.

Im not seeking attention.
Well, I AM seeking attention to the fact that if you DO have boyfriend problems....BE GRATEFUL you have them! There are WORSE things in the world than having boyfriend problems.

I did not admonish anyones problems on here, I just made it clear that there are people out there with a hell of a lot more significant problems that boyfriend issues.

I dont want anybody to think they cant get advice on here, but it just seems lately that thats the ONLY thing on here.

I just felt a "slap in the face" was in order. So, if you want to "slap" back, go for it.
Im a big boy.

Plus, Ive been aggravated by my job the past two weeks.....um, well, even more than usual.
And I tend to rant when I get that way...and I apologize if I didnt do some editing before I let this thread loose.

[MisterTinkles]

Well what have these homeless done to get out of their situation? Clearly they were just too lazy or whatever the idiotic problems are that these people cant be bothered to do anything about but complain about being homeless.

(^^^copied and pasted for our education)

Mr. Tinkles, unlike you, not everyone knows how to deal with their own problems. Yeah sure its the same thread over and over and over again, just different names and ages and details, but the same narrow series of problems wash up on Gayspeak's shore. Day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year... Yes it is exhausting to say the same thing in a different way so it will appear that you at least are targeting the individual instead of copy and pasting a form letter....

These are problems for these people. Yeah I know, there are starving people, homeless people, people dying from cancer so to an outsider relationship problems appear to be pretty damn trivial, but its not trivial to the person who is living through it.

Now I know its been about three centuries since your heart was last broken, and about 8 centuries when you were young and aimless and falling hard for your first love - so clearly there is good reason for you to have forgotten how real that sort of pain is. Let me assure you, pain of the heart is as painful as being homeless on the street, or living in a sewer under the street.

I personally have been in both sorts of pain - neither is fun and I am really hard pressed to say which is worse. No actually, for me the pain of being homeless is more bearable and manageable than the pain of a broken heart.

Gayspeak is not here to help the homeless, its here to help LGBT and part of that is to give relationship advice. So yeah we are going to see a lot of 'HELP ME WITH MY BF!' threads here, its part of the territory.

Hmmm, so there arent any homeless LGBT people out there?
There arent any homeless LGBT teens that got kicked out by their closeminded parents?
There arent any homeless LGBT people who got HIV or AIDS and couldnt afford medical help, so they ended up on the street after losing everything they worked for?
And apparently they dont want a job and someplace with a bed, that isnt a ditch or alley?

Wow, LGBT people are awesome to not have to deal with homelessness like everybody else! So, if someone knows a homeless LGBT person, and they get on here for some advice or help, we just send them on their merry little way.


And.. I feel pain. I feel all sorts of pain, all the time. I am, after all, human....or so my Dr. tells me. Ive never had a "first love", I have had "an only love". Nobody else "cut the mustard" when it came to that. But I fucked that up, and its all on me. And I remember that like it was yesterday.

I also feel pain for the people who have to suffer through abusive relationships, violent breakups, and their partners passing away.

People wonder WHY they are here on this planet. I found out a long time ago why I am here....to slap some reality in the face of some people who need it. I have also helped a LOT of people through bad times. My shoulders are wide and heavy with the friends and people who have come to me for help in my lifetime. Which seems to be another reason I am here.

Think of this thread this way.....
Someone crying hysterically, and getting a slap to calm them down and make them see more clearly.

And if that pisses off the masses...then so be it.
After all, I AM an asshole.

:hugs-and-kisses-smi

[OrphanPip]

This is all really interesting, but I have a real problem guys.

Our new cleaning lady ruined one of my favourite sweaters, should I deduct the cost of replacing the sweater from her pay or fire her outright?

[MisterTinkles]

I hate to be blunt, but one of the most annoying things to me personally is when people whine and moan about their issues. At least try to be productive.

I'm not saying that all the people on this site moan and bitch for no good reason on those threads, but you have to admit that when people don't even ask for specific and coherent advice and just randomly air their 'problems' out to the public, it takes effort not to just punch them in the face and yell 'AUUGH SHUT UP'

Honestly, I don't believe that coddling every single person with hugs and empty sympathy who says they're sad because they're not having the sex they want or having intermittent doubts about their relation ship, is good for them at all. The only way to learn self-sufficiency and inner strength is really a tough titties approach.

Thank you!!

I guess if I had thought it out more, I would have stated that its the ones who just complain without any specific question or concern in mind.

I think there needs to be a separate thread line for "Rants" and one for "Boyfriend Issues" on here. I think that would help out.

[Dan1980]

Hmmm, so there arent any homeless LGBT people out there?
There arent any homeless LGBT teens that got kicked out by their closeminded parents?
There arent any homeless LGBT people who got HIV or AIDS and couldnt afford medical help, so they ended up on the street after losing everything they worked for?
And apparently they dont want a job and someplace with a bed, that isnt a ditch or alley?

Wow, LGBT people are awesome to not have to deal with homelessness like everybody else! So, if someone knows a homeless LGBT person, and they get on here for some advice or help, we just send them on their merry little way.


And.. I feel pain. I feel all sorts of pain, all the time. I am, after all, human....or so my Dr. tells me. Ive never had a "first love", I have had "an only love". Nobody else "cut the mustard" when it came to that. But I fucked that up, and its all on me. And I remember that like it was yesterday.

I also feel pain for the people who have to suffer through abusive relationships, violent breakups, and their partners passing away.

People wonder WHY they are here on this planet. I found out a long time ago why I am here....to slap some reality in the face of some people who need it. I have also helped a LOT of people through bad times. My shoulders are wide and heavy with the friends and people who have come to me for help in my lifetime. Which seems to be another reason I am here.

Think of this thread this way.....
Someone crying hysterically, and getting a slap to calm them down and make them see more clearly.

And if that pisses off the masses...then so be it.
After all, I AM an asshole.

:hugs-and-kisses-smi

I think you have done a great job with this post. It shows us all here on the forum how lucky we all are to have roofs over our heads and food to eat. BA not all homeless people are lazy they are just down on there lucky and I hope and pray that your never in the same situation with no food or some where to sleep. While we are all complain about our boyfriend troubles we should all take a minute to think how lucky we are then others in the world.

[MisterTinkles]

By this pseudo-logic of yours, people who are homeless shouldn't bitch about their problems because of people in slave camps.

GOOD ONE!!!

And I would add "sex slavery" also.

Yes, there are even worse things than being homeless.

I am proud of you for reminding ME of that!!!

[MisterTinkles]

Close this thread i think. Not a good look for new members or guests who see this.

So, you want these people to think we cant have meaningful debates, discussions, and even "rants".......but only "daddy of the day", "what movies do you like", and other non-issue threads??

[Kenny221]

This kind of thread is not gonna get anywhere, yes the contents are correct, mr.tinkles, you are right there are more serious problems going on around the world, but at the same time it's also wrong to say that people shouldn't complain. Yeah, most people have it easy, people are also very interesting when it comes to conflicts. One of the reasons is that humans are just self absorbed people... we naturally put our problems first...even for the most selfless people, it happens.

The way I see it is this. People DO know they're actually doing good but people separate problems into 'personal conflicts' and 'world conflicts' . Even tho it's saddening to say that most people dont know how real 'world' conflicts are until it becomes 'personal' conflicts. For example, a man may laugh or even make fun of the love struck fools around him but when he becomes the fool, he understands the pain. Same thing with the conflicts tinkles mentioned. People will pity the homeless but they won't prioritize it unless it become a personal conflict.

[HomeagainNYC]

This is all really interesting, but I have a real problem guys.

Our new cleaning lady ruined one of my favourite sweaters, should I deduct the cost of replacing the sweater from her pay or fire her outright?

I’m very sorry you find yourself, in this very difficult and most unsettling position , It’s never fair when this sort of thing happens; it’s always seems to be the one’s - you love with all your heart. The ones that, unfailingly, make you look, be, and feel your best.

It’s an extremely important issue/problem; too often, situation like these, end up in the closet, only to be discovered latter, and exposed, usually to tears, tantrums, an accusations, always when you least expect it.

Oh wait..........

Handling domestics, and their issues, can be tricky, stressful, painfully, and downright scary - especially when you’re starting out. Since you’ve posted this, I can only assume that this is one, if not “the” first domestic issue/problem, for you - therefore your confusion. I did note you used "our" instead of me, but it just seems you had to make the decision.

It can be a cruel situation, the domestic - and - how to manage. Forgive them? Dock them? Fire them?

I see four immediately issues, you need to sort; there are more but these will give you a good stating point.

A) How do you know for sure the cleaning lady did it? Have you proof? Pictures, hidden camera, texts, e-mails?
B) Could the cleaning lady have come into possession of the sweater without knowing that it was “ruined” and upon discovering it, told you immediately? Then you jumped to the conclusion she was lying to save her job?
C) Did you perhaps do it? A) Are you are looking for a good excuse to fire her or B) Perhaps you’re cheap and want a free sweater?
D) Was it a black and white polka dot sweater vest?

Once you have determined where you stand in A, B, C, D, or E - if you have one – then, I think you should sit down and talk with her, so that you will both have a better understating of how, your, relationship will best suit the need/expectations of each party. Only you will know what is right for you.

We all have to go through this – some of us learn faster than other, but, there will always be, choices – hand wash or dry-clean; hang to dry or lay flat on a towel, tumble or spin; sweater don’t like: bleach, irons, hot water or wire hangers. It’s up to you to communicate your wants and needs.

You’ll learn, hang in there. I wish you all the best. Let us know how things work out for you.

If you do decide to fire her outright please make sure you have proof.

Mr. Tinkels, as - you - know debate comes in many guises - and your point is taken.

[Beaux]

The point of this was that theres too much over-blown complaining about stuff that is SO significantly minor.

So you arent getting along with your partner/boyfriend. WHAT have you done to correct this?
Most of them havent done a damn thing from what Ive read, except bitch, whine, and moan about it.

If you want to bitch, whine, and moan about something...make it something not so damn shallow and self absorbed.

Ok. I think I'm following you...so you just volunteered to be the one to post a general admonishment to all posters with the purpose of informing them that their problems are insignificant.....or did someone elect you to the post...?