Confused part 2

[bingobilly]

When I was ready to have my hair cut again in a couple of months, I called, but he and his wife had divorced and he was living with his parents. Mom said since he was living with his parents, it was OK for me to walk to their house, which was about a quarter mile away. Well, he took me straight to his bedroom and set me on the end of his bed. I didn’t think too much about it, but I was kind of scared of him. He brought out a porn book and sat down next to me. He rubbed a little on my leg, but I guess he tell I was squeamish and didn’t push it. We talk about it, but very little. When he took me home, he said if I ever wanted to try it, he would like to be the first. I told him, I would keep that in mind. About the 3rd or 4th visit to him, his parents weren’t home and he set me in a dining room chair in the middle of a room and told me take my shirt off so he didn’t get hair all over it. He wrapped a towel around me and started cutting. It took a while, but I realized he was rubbing his crotch on my shoulders, and had a boner. I had told him about a couple of neighbors of my parents that we thought were gay and how they were always gawking at me. He asked what I would think if he told me he was like that. I said I really don’t care, just don’t come onto me, well that didn’t last long, the next visit, he started undoing my pants and rubbing on my cock. Of course it got hard, but he asked how it felt even though it was oblivious. I was petrified and didn’t know what to do, he took my cock out and started sucking it, and sucking it until I had an orgasm, in which he swallowed. My head was reeling, this was supposed to be a bad thing, but damn, it felt good. He had told me if I was going to make love to guys I would have to kiss them, I thought about that and wasn’t sure I could do it.
Fortunately, I got busy with high school and had plenty of girl friends and forgot about him. I was having plenty of sex with the girls and enjoying it. I had always been attracted to girls and not boys, but still that good feeling stayed in the back of my mind. Right out of high school. I joined the Air Force Reserves, I was only away for about 12 weeks and upon getting back, for some reason I looked Grady up again for a haircut. I really just wanted a haircut, but the thought of trying to suck a cock was kind of exciting. When I got there, he was in hurry and just had time for the cut.
Once I got settled in after coming back, I moved into a studio apartment with an old school friend of mine. He was a bartender at a popular night club and would occasionally bring home a girl to “interview” for a job. One night he walked in with a chick that looked like she could have been a street walker. She was wearing a red, on-piece jump suit, red spike heels and had bleach blonde hair, put up in a bee-hive. He took her straight upstairs to his room and before long; the old headboard was banging against the wall. I went on to bed after a bit, and laying there in dark, wishing the banging would stop so I could get to sleep. All of sudden, the door flies open and he’s standing there saying, “You want some of this?” I was a little confused at first, and said “what?” He said you want some pussy? I can’t handle it! I crawled out of bed and went into his room. I got on top of her and went at it, then he went at it again, as did I, then I (part 3 coming soon)

[SlipknotRlZZ]

Hi, Bingobilly. While your posts are interesting and provide insight into your life and the experiences that might have made you sway one way or another, they are a bit too graphic and you might want to post everything in one thread while keeping it less graphic. Also, you might want to get to the point of your post - your problem, or whatever you need advice on. Again, everything you're describing is probably relevant and necessary to understand your problem.

[Merc]

Bingobilly,

You ought to start your own blog. I think that writing out all of your experiences will help you better identify who you are. That's your ultimate goal here, right?