So basically, there is this guy I have been talking to. He is really nerdy like me. When we text, I really see a connection. We talk about nerdy stuff though not always the same things. However, there is a lot that we do like similarly. He is really nice, kind and intelligent. We're jut friends, but I feel like there is potential.
But here's the rub. We've only met once, but our meeting was very forced and awkward and we were both really shy. After that, I became super nervous (because relationships scare me sometimes). We texted more, and I was still feely nervous and scared. This was until he left on vacation. Then it was weird, even though we met once, I guess I "missed" him. I still don't know how I feel about it, but I don't know how I feel about him or the whole situation. I guess what I'm asking is if being THIS nervous is normal, and not wanting to be near him and then wanting to be a couple of days later? I feel I want to be near him now but not then so idk. Help?!
It's just the flutterings of indecision mixed with the excitement of potential intimacy. You are not going crazy, you're alive. That's a good thing!
P.S. Some particular lyrics that I think are pertinent:
You think, what do you want?
You think, make a decision.
Why not stay and be caught?
You think, well, it's a thought,
What would be his response?
It's your first big decision,
The choice isn't easy to make
Once you're there, though, it's scary.
And it's fun to deceive
When you know you can leave,
But you have to be wary.
There's a lot that's at stake,
But you've stalled long enough,
Better run along home
And avoid the collision.
Even though they don't care,
You'll be better of there
Where there's nothing to choose,
So there's nothing to lose.
Oh yeah I think your feelings are very normal. Your nervous because your worried about his opinion on you. I'm just like this with my crush. I get so nervous and my heart starts beating really fast. Hes sort of my real first crush on anyone after being out of the closet. A lot of your feelings you are feeling are very similar to how i feel about my crush and i think its perfectly normal. Just remember hes not a monster, just talk to him more get to know him a bit better till you are more comfortable being around him.
I agree with Krupt. No one seems to know how to be social in person anymore. So many are tough and sweet online, but in person, they don't know what to do with themselves because there's no keyboard in front of them. Get to know the guy a lot before you crazy mad in love with a fantasy. It would be a lot better whether you end up in a relationship or not.
Krupt Wrote:So many people don't understand the true nature of what makes a relationship. Have you ever wondered why so many of you younger guys and girls start a relationship and it never lasts? oh it may go for a couple of years and in the beginning everything is roses and rainbows but those rainbows are going to give way to storms and the roses are just going to turn into mulch and you are going to pretent that tempestuous weather and decaying life forms are just the bees knees but you know it's all crap at the core of it.
Here is why that is so. Back in the 'olden days' before 1998, people met each other at sporting events, social clubs, at work and even at school. They became friends, best friends. they spent time getting to know each other and they each got to know each other as well as they know themselves. One person can have several of these people in their lives, they are called FRIENDS.
After many months, sometimes years one of those friendships begin to evolve. the heart starts to ache when you part ways with that person, your dreams are consumed cuddles and kisses, the anticipation of being together makes the heart skip a beat and race ahead of itself. You feel giddy and as you approach the one that you love, the ground beneath your feet feels like clouds. You feel invincible and vulnerable at the same time.
You now have a life partner, you have already learned everything about each other so you know you are compatible and you are going to spend the rest of your life together.
Today, you chat on the internet, meet, show each other your penises and you are all of a sudden in love. You spend the next weeks, sometimes years learning about each other realising that there is no way you could be friends, but you love him anyway so you will force yourself to be happy while your stupidity and ignorance drags that one special best friend further away from you and into someone elses arms, but that doesn't matter, you know that the man you fell in love with after 1 meeting and showing each other your penises is your mister right, you hate his guts, but you love him all the same.
oh dear, I wonder what went wrong there?????
Build friendships, they will last forever, don't go from fuck buddies to relationship, they will tear you apart.
That was so well put it was almost magical.
It really is sad how different things are these days though. Granted, I was born in the 90s... so I really am part of the whole internet generation, but at the same time a good portion of my childhood was lived before it all really caught on. I remember in high school we had no smart phones or iphones -- some of us had cellphones, but they were those blocky flip phones with no internet. In fact, even the internet in my area was still slowly developing.. not everyone had or could afford it.
Point is, we had to do as you said, socialize, and for that, I am eternally grateful. Most of the friends I have to this day were friends I grew up with, spent time with, and did active things with (like outside.. not on the computer or cell phone!). It seems in this age you can no longer escape the whole smartphone obsession. I go to dinner with friends -- they're all on their cells, glued to the screen. I go to the pub... same thing.
I personally refuse to have a smart phone for that reason.
I guess what I'm getting at is that I can relate in a sense. I've tried online dating, but it's so impersonal. Dating, or even friendship in general almost seems impersonal.. as if people are afraid to really get close... to actually know someone. It's send me a text, or message me on facebook.. or add me on twitter.. and as said, even where you're out people cannot take their eyes off theirs phones..
Drives me crazy.
Anyway, I think my point just kind of wandered and turned into a rant, wooops... but that said, I completely agree with what you said, and love your post. The way I see it, your lover MUST also be your friend, or it will never work. That's why I'm no longer keen on online dating. It seems most of the people that contact me, really have no interest in getting to know the real me.. they're just desperate for something/anything...
On the topic of living proof, there's nothing wrong with you. Your reaction is completely normal. You're feeling a mix of anxiety and excitement due to the possibility of a new friendship / relationship. There's nothing wrong with that.
Aww I know exactly how you feel and it's very normal to feel nervous and to miss him! I mean, even if you are a little bit shy on the meetups you wouldn't mine about seing him more days, talk more to him, and well I know how you feel because everything you want is to talk more with him know different things about him, and well I guess that you would like to know him as much as possible to see if could happen something wonderful like falling for each other!
Just be calm and breathe! Even if you both were a little bit shy you will lost your shy during the next meetups!
Good luck )
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